Adapted from books by Shelly Beach: Ambushed By Grace: Help and Hope in the Caregiving Journey, and It Is Well with My Soul.
Many caregivers of older people find that they have to treat their loved ones like children. They make decisions on their behalf, or stop them from doing things on their own in case they hurt themselves. It's understandable, as some older people need the same attention and care that young children do.
But this can be frustrating for them. Some may feel offended at having their choices constantly disregarded. Others may feel discouraged, lose confidence in themselves, and become even more dependent on their caregivers.
Perhaps we need to ask ourselves: are our aged parents still mentally capable of making informed decisions? If so, we need to acknowledge their autonomy and respect their freedom to choose, even if their decisions may have consequences that are less than desirable. If these decisions are likely to harm others, we should try negotiation or discussion first.
According them this respect is not only important, but biblical as well. The Bible instructs us to obey our parents and respect our elders. (Exodus 20:12; 1 Peter 5:5). It also stresses that each of us is accountable for our own actions (Matthew 12:36-37; Romans 14:12).
We need to learn to "let go" of our parents and let them make their own decisions - and if possible, to do some things on their own. They may be more resilient than we think!
Remember, many of the older generation have a strong sense of self-preservation and self-reliance from having lived through deprivation and trials. You don't have to be there for them every single minute; they may be fine on their own or with someone else while you're having a well-deserved break.
The ultimate act of letting go - and possibly the hardest of them all - in allowing them to make the final journey into eternity.
Some older people are not afraid to die. But they worry for their families, who are naturally reluctant for them to give up on life. Are we prepared to release them from our care into the loving arms of God? Are we ready to say, "Don't worry about us, Mum, we'll be fine. We'll see you again"?
When Jesus' disciples mourned over His coming death, He reminded them that they would be reunited in His Father's house (John 14:1-4).
Learning to let go of our parents can challenge our faith and perspective on mortality and death. We will surely grieve their loss. But with Jesus' assurance, we can take heart in the comforting truth that we will be together again one day.
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Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God, believe also in me. My Father's house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going. - John 14:1-4
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Many caregivers of older people find that they have to treat their loved ones like children. They make decisions on their behalf, or stop them from doing things on their own in case they hurt themselves. It's understandable, as some older people need the same attention and care that young children do.
But this can be frustrating for them. Some may feel offended at having their choices constantly disregarded. Others may feel discouraged, lose confidence in themselves, and become even more dependent on their caregivers.
But this can be frustrating for them. Some may feel offended at having their choices constantly disregarded. Others may feel discouraged, lose confidence in themselves, and become even more dependent on their caregivers.
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https://seniorsenquiryline.com.au/blog/2022/01/05/spotlight-on-time-for-grandparents/
Perhaps we need to ask ourselves: are our aged parents still mentally capable of making informed decisions? If so, we need to acknowledge their autonomy and respect their freedom to choose, even if their decisions may have consequences that are less than desirable. If these decisions are likely to harm others, we should try negotiation or discussion first.
According them this respect is not only important, but biblical as well. The Bible instructs us to obey our parents and respect our elders. (Exodus 20:12; 1 Peter 5:5). It also stresses that each of us is accountable for our own actions (Matthew 12:36-37; Romans 14:12).
According them this respect is not only important, but biblical as well. The Bible instructs us to obey our parents and respect our elders. (Exodus 20:12; 1 Peter 5:5). It also stresses that each of us is accountable for our own actions (Matthew 12:36-37; Romans 14:12).
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We need to learn to "let go" of our parents and let them make their own decisions - and if possible, to do some things on their own. They may be more resilient than we think!
Remember, many of the older generation have a strong sense of self-preservation and self-reliance from having lived through deprivation and trials. You don't have to be there for them every single minute; they may be fine on their own or with someone else while you're having a well-deserved break.
Remember, many of the older generation have a strong sense of self-preservation and self-reliance from having lived through deprivation and trials. You don't have to be there for them every single minute; they may be fine on their own or with someone else while you're having a well-deserved break.
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The ultimate act of letting go - and possibly the hardest of them all - in allowing them to make the final journey into eternity.
Some older people are not afraid to die. But they worry for their families, who are naturally reluctant for them to give up on life. Are we prepared to release them from our care into the loving arms of God? Are we ready to say, "Don't worry about us, Mum, we'll be fine. We'll see you again"?
Some older people are not afraid to die. But they worry for their families, who are naturally reluctant for them to give up on life. Are we prepared to release them from our care into the loving arms of God? Are we ready to say, "Don't worry about us, Mum, we'll be fine. We'll see you again"?
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When Jesus' disciples mourned over His coming death, He reminded them that they would be reunited in His Father's house (John 14:1-4).
Learning to let go of our parents can challenge our faith and perspective on mortality and death. We will surely grieve their loss. But with Jesus' assurance, we can take heart in the comforting truth that we will be together again one day.
Learning to let go of our parents can challenge our faith and perspective on mortality and death. We will surely grieve their loss. But with Jesus' assurance, we can take heart in the comforting truth that we will be together again one day.
Artwork by Howard Lyon Art - I Am a Child of God
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Through Lord Jesus Christ we pray. Amen!"
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Source (book): "He Walks with Me - Devotions for Your Caregiving Journey with God", PART III "JOURNEYING WITH OTHERS", Chapter 29 "Letting go", Page 80.
Adapted from books by Shelly Beach: Ambushed By Grace: Help and Hope in the Caregiving Journey, and It Is Well with My Soul.
Other Books (Links)
Reflection - Faithful to the end (Links)
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2017/06/reflection-faithful-to-end-links.html
"Finding rest for the soul" Responding to Jesus' Invitation in Matthew 11:28-29, © 2016 by Robert M. Solomon
Reflection - Finding rest for the soul (Links)
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2018/10/reflection-finding-rest-for-soul-links.html
"God in Pursuit" Lessons from the Book of Jonah, © 2016 by Robert M. Solomon
Reflection - God in Pursuit (Links) - PART I-III, posted on Saturday, 10 August 2019
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2019/08/reflection-god-in-pursuit-links-part-i.html
"God in Pursuit" Lessons from the Book of Jonah, © 2016 by Robert M. Solomon
Reflection - God in Pursuit (Links) - PART IV, posted on Saturday, 10 August 2019
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2019/08/reflection-god-in-pursuit-links-part-iv.html
"Songs of Christmas", The Stories and Significance of 20 Well-Loved Carols, © 2018 by Robert M. Solomon
Reflection - Songs of Christmas (Links), posted on Friday, 24 April 2020
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2020/04/reflection-songs-of-christmas-links.html
"Growing Old Gracefully", Following Jesus to the End, © 2019 by Robert M. Solomon
Reflection - Growing Old Gracefully, Part I - III (Links), posted on Wednesday, 09 December 2020
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2020/12/reflection-growing-old-gracefully-part.html
Reflection - Growing Old Gracefully, Part IV - V (Links), posted on Thursday, 22 April 2021
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2020/12/reflection-growing-old-gracefully-part_9.html
"Teach Us to Number Our Days", © 2008 by David Roper
Reflection - Number Our Days, Chapter 1 - 40 (Links), posted on Tuesday, 16 November 2021
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2021/11/reflection-number-our-days-chapter-1-40.html
Reflection - Number Our Days, Chapter 41 - 64 (Links), posted on Wednesday, 16 March 2022
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2022/03/reflection-number-our-days-chapter-41.html
Links
New International Version (NIV), Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
John 14:1-4 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+14%3A1-4&version=NIV
Matthew 11:28-29 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+11%3A28-29&version=NIV
Matthew 12:36-37; Romans 14:12 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+12%3A36-37%3B+Romans+14%3A12&version=NIV
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