Source (book): "He Walks with Me - Devotions for Your Caregiving Journey with God", PART III "JOURNEYING WITH OTHERS", Chapter 28 "Relating to the elderly", Page 78.
Adapted from books by Shelly Beach: Ambushed By Grace: Help and Hope in the Caregiving Journey, and It Is Well with My Soul.
Adapted from books by Shelly Beach: Ambushed By Grace: Help and Hope in the Caregiving Journey, and It Is Well with My Soul.
PHOTO: You who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another. - 1 Peter 5:5
If you're caring for an elderly parent or person raised in a traditional culture, you may face this added challenge in caregiving: convincing him that you're not challenging his seniority and "ordering" him around.
The Bible makes it clear that we are to honour our parents and respect our elders (1 Peter 5:5). Asian society also expects younger people to "give face" to elders.
So, what can we do when responsibility for our parents' welfare requires us to override their preferences or decisions? How can we care for them in the best way possible, while still showing respect for them?
For a start, it helps to recognise that many Asian elders do not like to be confronted directly. Rephrasing an instruction as a suggestion can thus give an elder person "face" and let him retain the dignity of making the decision to comply. Try saying, "I would appreciate it if . . ." or "It would really help me if . . ."
Instead of raising a sensitive issue directly, you may also find it more effective to go through a favourite child or a close aunt. When it comes to important matters, many Asian parents prefer to speak through a favourite sibling or trusted relative. "My late mum would go through my sister to tell me something," says veteran gerontologist (a person who studies old age) Dr Helen Ko. "Or tell me to tell my sister."
You can also externalise (substitute) the problem. Instead of putting a parent at the centre and saying "You need to move to Sis' home", reframe the issue as a concern for all parties to address together: "My new job requires me to travel over the weekend. What do you think we should do?"
Communication with an uncooperative parent will always be challenging. But we can draw strength from the biblical truth that honouring our parents - no matter what they are like - is not only right, but also pleases God.
6 "E" of communications
Engage. Build up a relationship of trust by spending time not just as a caregiver, but also a child or friend. This will enable better and more effective communication in the long term.
Empathise. Try to understand their situation and put yourself in their shoes to see the problem from their eyes.
Explore. Find out the real cause of a problem or concern. Is a parent reluctant to take his medicine because of the cost? Or is it really because it's hard to swallow?
Enlist. Address sensitive together, such as by showing them that they are helping you to help them.
Educate. Explain how the solution will help them, such as how the same medicine has benefited others.
Empower. Build confidence by letting the person make decisions where possible. Help them recognise the possibility of success, and remind them of past successes.
Source: Counselling Older Adults
Care with compassion, speak with respect.
If you're caring for an elderly parent or person raised in a traditional culture, you may face this added challenge in caregiving: convincing him that you're not challenging his seniority and "ordering" him around.
The Bible makes it clear that we are to honour our parents and respect our elders (1 Peter 5:5). Asian society also expects younger people to "give face" to elders.
So, what can we do when responsibility for our parents' welfare requires us to override their preferences or decisions? How can we care for them in the best way possible, while still showing respect for them?
For a start, it helps to recognise that many Asian elders do not like to be confronted directly. Rephrasing an instruction as a suggestion can thus give an elder person "face" and let him retain the dignity of making the decision to comply. Try saying, "I would appreciate it if . . ." or "It would really help me if . . ."
Instead of raising a sensitive issue directly, you may also find it more effective to go through a favourite child or a close aunt. When it comes to important matters, many Asian parents prefer to speak through a favourite sibling or trusted relative. "My late mum would go through my sister to tell me something," says veteran gerontologist (a person who studies old age) Dr Helen Ko. "Or tell me to tell my sister."
You can also externalise (substitute) the problem. Instead of putting a parent at the centre and saying "You need to move to Sis' home", reframe the issue as a concern for all parties to address together: "My new job requires me to travel over the weekend. What do you think we should do?"
Communication with an uncooperative parent will always be challenging. But we can draw strength from the biblical truth that honouring our parents - no matter what they are like - is not only right, but also pleases God.
6 "E" of communications
Engage. Build up a relationship of trust by spending time not just as a caregiver, but also a child or friend. This will enable better and more effective communication in the long term.
Empathise. Try to understand their situation and put yourself in their shoes to see the problem from their eyes.
Explore. Find out the real cause of a problem or concern. Is a parent reluctant to take his medicine because of the cost? Or is it really because it's hard to swallow?
Enlist. Address sensitive together, such as by showing them that they are helping you to help them.
Educate. Explain how the solution will help them, such as how the same medicine has benefited others.
Empower. Build confidence by letting the person make decisions where possible. Help them recognise the possibility of success, and remind them of past successes.
Source: Counselling Older Adults
Care with compassion, speak with respect.
Picture posted by John Crawford, Estate Planning & Preservation on 06 April 2018
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https://www.marksgray.com/planning-potential-future-diminished-capacity/
You who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another. - 1 Peter 5:5
PHOTO: You who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another. - 1 Peter 5:5
Picture posted by hlezama in 2018
Picture is enlarged by AI-powered image upscaler from depositphotos at https://depositphotos.com/upscaler.html?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_term=button2&utm_campaign=ntf_upscaler&utm_content=en&iterable_campaign=2704095&iterable_template=3704971
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https://steemkr.com/spanish/@hlezama/por-que-se-portan-mal-nuestros-hijos
If you're caring for an elderly parent or person raised in a traditional culture, you may face this added challenge in caregiving: convincing him that you're not challenging his seniority and "ordering" him around.
The Bible makes it clear that we are to honour our parents and respect our elders (1 Peter 5:5). Asian society also expects younger people to "give face" to elders.
https://steemitimages.com/p/3W72119s5BjWMGm5yM61K5BksN6mnUfvABQ7FAnobSwczx13NQbL6D4EiULB7THEoiDHemVVY3Xe2k2qeug8YFfH58PoP2PLGe4x2TKwAH7EgVjXvAyqWe?format=match&mode=fit
https://steemkr.com/spanish/@hlezama/por-que-se-portan-mal-nuestros-hijos
If you're caring for an elderly parent or person raised in a traditional culture, you may face this added challenge in caregiving: convincing him that you're not challenging his seniority and "ordering" him around.
The Bible makes it clear that we are to honour our parents and respect our elders (1 Peter 5:5). Asian society also expects younger people to "give face" to elders.
PHOTO: The Bible makes it clear that we are to honour our parents and respect our elders (1 Peter 5:5). Asian society also expects younger people to "give face" to elders.
Picture posted by pngtree
Picture posted by pngtree
Picture is enlarged by AI-powered image upscaler from depositphotos at https://depositphotos.com/upscaler.html?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_term=button2&utm_campaign=ntf_upscaler&utm_content=en&iterable_campaign=2704095&iterable_template=3704971
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https://png.pngtree.com/png-clipart/20220125/original/pngtree-respect-for-the-elderly-on-double-ninth-festival-png-image_7224380.png
https://pngtree.com/freepng/respect-for-the-elderly-on-double-ninth-festival_7224380.html
So, what can we do when responsibility for our parents' welfare requires us to override their preferences or decisions? How can we care for them in the best way possible, while still showing respect for them?
For a start, it helps to recognise that many Asian elders do not like to be confronted directly. Rephrasing an instruction as a suggestion can thus give an elder person "face" and let him retain the dignity of making the decision to comply. Try saying, "I would appreciate it if . . ." or "It would really help me if . . ."
https://png.pngtree.com/png-clipart/20220125/original/pngtree-respect-for-the-elderly-on-double-ninth-festival-png-image_7224380.png
https://pngtree.com/freepng/respect-for-the-elderly-on-double-ninth-festival_7224380.html
So, what can we do when responsibility for our parents' welfare requires us to override their preferences or decisions? How can we care for them in the best way possible, while still showing respect for them?
For a start, it helps to recognise that many Asian elders do not like to be confronted directly. Rephrasing an instruction as a suggestion can thus give an elder person "face" and let him retain the dignity of making the decision to comply. Try saying, "I would appreciate it if . . ." or "It would really help me if . . ."
PHOTO: So, what can we do when responsibility for our parents' welfare requires us to override their preferences or decisions? How can we care for them in the best way possible, while still showing respect for them?
Give an elder person "face" and let him retain the dignity of making the decision to comply. Try saying, "I would appreciate it if . . ." or "It would really help me if . . ."
Picture posted by Sony Music Entertainment
Give an elder person "face" and let him retain the dignity of making the decision to comply. Try saying, "I would appreciate it if . . ." or "It would really help me if . . ."
Picture posted by Sony Music Entertainment
Picture is enlarged by AI-powered image upscaler from depositphotos at https://depositphotos.com/upscaler.html?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_term=button2&utm_campaign=ntf_upscaler&utm_content=en&iterable_campaign=2704095&iterable_template=3704971
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https://barbrastreisand.com/news/world-full-bad-news-take-breather/
Instead of raising a sensitive issue directly, you may also find it more effective to go through a favourite child or a close aunt. When it comes to important matters, many Asian parents prefer to speak through a favourite sibling or trusted relative. "My late mum would go through my sister to tell me something," says veteran gerontologist (a person who studies old age) Dr Helen Ko. "Or tell me to tell my sister."
You can also externalise (substitute) the problem. Instead of putting a parent at the centre and saying "You need to move to Sis' home", reframe the issue as a concern for all parties to address together: "My new job requires me to travel over the weekend. What do you think we should do?"
Instead of raising a sensitive issue directly, you may also find it more effective to go through a favourite child or a close aunt. When it comes to important matters, many Asian parents prefer to speak through a favourite sibling or trusted relative. "My late mum would go through my sister to tell me something," says veteran gerontologist (a person who studies old age) Dr Helen Ko. "Or tell me to tell my sister."
You can also externalise (substitute) the problem. Instead of putting a parent at the centre and saying "You need to move to Sis' home", reframe the issue as a concern for all parties to address together: "My new job requires me to travel over the weekend. What do you think we should do?"
PHOTO: You can also externalise (substitute) the problem. nstead of putting a parent at the centre and saying "You need to move to Sis' home", reframe the issue as a concern for all parties to address together: "My new job requires me to travel over the weekend. What do you think we should do?"
Picture posted by Sony Music Entertainment
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https://barbrastreisand.com/news/world-full-bad-news-take-breather/
Communication with an uncooperative parent will always be challenging. But we can draw strength from the biblical truth that honouring our parents - no matter what they are like - is not only right, but also pleases God.
Picture posted by Sony Music Entertainment
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https://barbrastreisand.com/news/world-full-bad-news-take-breather/
Communication with an uncooperative parent will always be challenging. But we can draw strength from the biblical truth that honouring our parents - no matter what they are like - is not only right, but also pleases God.
PHOTO: Communication with an uncooperative parent will always be challenging. But we can draw strength from the biblical truth that honouring our parents - no matter what they are like - is not only right, but also pleases God.
Picture posted by Precious Pearls Home Health Care@home_pearls
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https://mobile.twitter.com/home_pearls
6 "E" of communications
Engage. Build up a relationship of trust by spending time not just as a caregiver, but also a child or friend. This will enable better and more effective communication in the long term.
Empathise. Try to understand their situation and put yourself in their shoes to see the problem from their eyes.
Explore. Find out the real cause of a problem or concern. Is a parent reluctant to take his medicine because of the cost? Or is it really because it's hard to swallow?
Enlist. Address sensitive together, such as by showing them that they are helping you to help them.
Educate. Explain how the solution will help them, such as how the same medicine has benefited others.
Empower. Build confidence by letting the person make decisions where possible. Help them recognise the possibility of success, and remind them of past successes.
Source: Counselling Older Adults
Picture posted by Precious Pearls Home Health Care@home_pearls
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXxKvRy_OfHN1ptJmXrUUxU5hDUzaGDvtlCViPW7cYh-SvM6nB6q88uNU2jN2tcPvxaZB71aDq4Hm-w58XuPNCgK4CTXUTNNsveat1RYtqaQf57pcPiOFVhdepL5_M-cXVN1H4oXz8jV07iVJZlQ5tzfYwQvev38xo5jeC98tRum3AVAk-xkvWnyDs/s3300/FUqyIEqX0AAo9uW.jpg
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FUqyIEqX0AAo9uW?format=jpg&name=4096x4096
https://mobile.twitter.com/home_pearls
6 "E" of communications
Engage. Build up a relationship of trust by spending time not just as a caregiver, but also a child or friend. This will enable better and more effective communication in the long term.
Empathise. Try to understand their situation and put yourself in their shoes to see the problem from their eyes.
Explore. Find out the real cause of a problem or concern. Is a parent reluctant to take his medicine because of the cost? Or is it really because it's hard to swallow?
Enlist. Address sensitive together, such as by showing them that they are helping you to help them.
Educate. Explain how the solution will help them, such as how the same medicine has benefited others.
Empower. Build confidence by letting the person make decisions where possible. Help them recognise the possibility of success, and remind them of past successes.
Source: Counselling Older Adults
PHOTO: 6 "E" of communications
Engage, Empathise, Explore, Enlist (obtain), Educate, and Empower
Picture posted by St Louis Insurance
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https://stlouisinsurancegroup.com/stpeters-sept10
Engage, Empathise, Explore, Enlist (obtain), Educate, and Empower
Picture posted by St Louis Insurance
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https://stlouisinsurancegroup.com/stpeters-sept10
Care with compassion, speak with respect.
PHOTO: Care with compassion, speak with respect.
Picture posted by Amy Boughner, Graham Field on 19 April 2016
Picture is enlarged by AI-powered image upscaler from depositphotos at https://depositphotos.com/upscaler.html?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_term=button2&utm_campaign=ntf_upscaler&utm_content=en&iterable_campaign=2704095&iterable_template=3704971
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https://gograhamfield.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Fotolia_92881481_S.jpg
https://gograhamfield.com/the-baby-boomer-impact-on-hospital-wheelchair-transportation/
Picture posted by Amy Boughner, Graham Field on 19 April 2016
Picture is enlarged by AI-powered image upscaler from depositphotos at https://depositphotos.com/upscaler.html?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_term=button2&utm_campaign=ntf_upscaler&utm_content=en&iterable_campaign=2704095&iterable_template=3704971
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https://gograhamfield.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Fotolia_92881481_S.jpg
https://gograhamfield.com/the-baby-boomer-impact-on-hospital-wheelchair-transportation/
PHOTO: "Dear Lord, thank You for the reminder to obey and honour my parents and elders. Teach me how to keep honouring and respecting them even as I learn to engage them on this caregiving journey.
Through Lord Jesus Christ we pray. Amen!"
Picture posted by Lisa Capron on 18 February 2016
Through Lord Jesus Christ we pray. Amen!"
Picture posted by Lisa Capron on 18 February 2016
Picture is enlarged by AI-powered image upscaler from depositphotos at https://depositphotos.com/upscaler.html?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_term=button2&utm_campaign=ntf_upscaler&utm_content=en&iterable_campaign=2704095&iterable_template=3704971
https://i.ytimg.com/vi/yYtbRavln8o/maxresdefault.jpg - (Humble_yourselves.jpg)
Reflection - Journeying With Others - Relating to the elderly
Source (book): "He Walks with Me - Devotions for Your Caregiving Journey with God", PART III "JOURNEYING WITH OTHERS", Chapter 28 "Relating to the elderly", Page 78.
Adapted from books by Shelly Beach: Ambushed By Grace: Help and Hope in the Caregiving Journey, and It Is Well with My Soul.
Source (book): "He Walks with Me - Devotions for Your Caregiving Journey with God", PART III "JOURNEYING WITH OTHERS", Chapter 28 "Relating to the elderly", Page 78.
Adapted from books by Shelly Beach: Ambushed By Grace: Help and Hope in the Caregiving Journey, and It Is Well with My Soul.
Other Books (Links)
"Faithful to the end", A Preacher's Exposition of 2 Timothy, @ 2014 by Robert M. Solomon
Reflection - Faithful to the end (Links)
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2017/06/reflection-faithful-to-end-links.html
"Finding rest for the soul" Responding to Jesus' Invitation in Matthew 11:28-29, © 2016 by Robert M. Solomon
Reflection - Finding rest for the soul (Links)
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2018/10/reflection-finding-rest-for-soul-links.html
"God in Pursuit" Lessons from the Book of Jonah, © 2016 by Robert M. Solomon
Reflection - God in Pursuit (Links) - PART I-III, posted on Saturday, 10 August 2019
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2019/08/reflection-god-in-pursuit-links-part-i.html
"God in Pursuit" Lessons from the Book of Jonah, © 2016 by Robert M. Solomon
Reflection - God in Pursuit (Links) - PART IV, posted on Saturday, 10 August 2019
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2019/08/reflection-god-in-pursuit-links-part-iv.html
"Songs of Christmas", The Stories and Significance of 20 Well-Loved Carols, © 2018 by Robert M. Solomon
Reflection - Songs of Christmas (Links), posted on Friday, 24 April 2020
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2020/04/reflection-songs-of-christmas-links.html
Reflection - Faithful to the end (Links)
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2017/06/reflection-faithful-to-end-links.html
"Finding rest for the soul" Responding to Jesus' Invitation in Matthew 11:28-29, © 2016 by Robert M. Solomon
Reflection - Finding rest for the soul (Links)
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2018/10/reflection-finding-rest-for-soul-links.html
"God in Pursuit" Lessons from the Book of Jonah, © 2016 by Robert M. Solomon
Reflection - God in Pursuit (Links) - PART I-III, posted on Saturday, 10 August 2019
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2019/08/reflection-god-in-pursuit-links-part-i.html
"God in Pursuit" Lessons from the Book of Jonah, © 2016 by Robert M. Solomon
Reflection - God in Pursuit (Links) - PART IV, posted on Saturday, 10 August 2019
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2019/08/reflection-god-in-pursuit-links-part-iv.html
"Songs of Christmas", The Stories and Significance of 20 Well-Loved Carols, © 2018 by Robert M. Solomon
Reflection - Songs of Christmas (Links), posted on Friday, 24 April 2020
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2020/04/reflection-songs-of-christmas-links.html
"Growing Old Gracefully", Following Jesus to the End, © 2019 by Robert M. Solomon
Reflection - Growing Old Gracefully, Part I - III (Links), posted on Wednesday, 09 December 2020
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2020/12/reflection-growing-old-gracefully-part.html
Reflection - Growing Old Gracefully, Part IV - V (Links), posted on Thursday, 22 April 2021
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2020/12/reflection-growing-old-gracefully-part_9.html
"Teach Us to Number Our Days", © 2008 by David Roper
Reflection - Number Our Days, Chapter 1 - 40 (Links), posted on Tuesday, 16 November 2021
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2021/11/reflection-number-our-days-chapter-1-40.html
Reflection - Number Our Days, Chapter 41 - 64 (Links), posted on Wednesday, 16 March 2022
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2022/03/reflection-number-our-days-chapter-41.html
Reference
[1] From "He Walks with Me - Devotions for Your Caregiving Journey with God", Copyright © 2018 by Our Daily Bread Ministries, PART III "JOURNEYING WITH OTHERS", Chapter 28 "Relating to the elderly", Page 78-79.
Links
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