Thursday, October 29, 2020

Reflection - Redemptive Relationships - Four Seasons of Friendship

Source (book): "Growing Old Gracefully", Following Jesus to the End, PART III: REDEMPTIVE RELATIONSHIPS, Chapter 18, "Friendship", Question 2, Page 121.
By Robert M. Solomon, Bishop of the Methodist Church in Singapore from 2000 - 2012


Make a list of friends you have under the four seasons of friendship discussed in this chapter. Spring friendship
PHOTO: Make a list of friends you have under the four seasons of friendship discussed in this chapter.
Spring friendship
  • Housing Development Board (HDB) exercise station's elderly uncle and aunties (starting to know them briefly for a while. They are already out exercising during the predawn hours)

Summer friendship
  • Park Connector Network (PCN) elderly uncles (have been meeting them regularly during predawn since the past 5 years)

Fall friendship
  • School classmate (had been with them 55 years ago, for about 3 to 5 years per level)
  • National Service and Reservist colleagues (had been with them 45 years ago, for about 16 years)
  • Previous company's fellow colleagues (had been with them 43 years ago, for about 1 year)
  • Tertiary classmate (had been with them 41 years ago, for about 2 years)
  • Previous company's fellow colleagues (had been with them 38 years ago, for about 1 year)
  • Previous company's fellow colleagues (had been with them 37 years ago, for about 6 years)
  • Previous company's fellow colleagues (had been with them 31 years ago, for about 13 years)
  • Previous company's fellow colleagues (had been with them 17 years ago, for about 8 years)
  • Facebook's group from E2I courses (studied together 8 years ago, for a few months)
  • Previous company's fellow colleagues (had been with them 8 years ago, for about 7 months)
  • Previous company's fellow colleagues (had been with them 7 years ago, for about 3 months)

Winter friendship
  • A middle-aged Permanent Resident, PR (colleague from previous company 31 years ago. Had not been contacting each other for quite some time)
  • No memory of any other with long and faithful friendship


How do you keep in touch with old close friends?
One of the greatest gifts we can give in friendship is that of active listening. Active listening is attentive listening that focuses on feelings. Empathy is the best response, for it has to do with feeling into a person, and we are then able to respond compassionately. When communication involves feelings and when pronouns such as "I", "you", and "we" are used, it means we are communicating with one another deeply.

As we age, we need to reflect on our friendships with significant others. We have to ask questions and reflect on our active listening: Who are the people I like to listen to? Who are the people who are difficult for me to listen to? Who listens to me when it is important? When did my listening help someone? When did I fail to listen to someone who needed me? When did someone fail to listen to me? How do I listen?

We can learn much from Jesus, who told His disciples, "I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you" (John 15:15). He also said, "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends" (John 15:13). The marks of true friendship are sacrificial love and trusting transparency.

Our friendship with Jesus helps us to be true friends to others. Can you think of some old and new friends who need your friendship?


Are you developing new friendships?
There are elderly uncle and aunties whom we met while on our journey during our pre-dawn walk and exercises. After a few times we started conversations and discovered that they started their morning routine from about 2 am. We did not met some of them before. However they responded to our greetings and conversations. One of the uncle even expressed intention to join us in our walk to the Park Connector Network, but was unable to because of his poor health. He need regular rest urgently or his body would become very weak and fall down. One other aunty in her eighties is very disciplined and took her exercise routine seriously. We even met her at the supermarket nearby, shopping for her family. Their determination in live inspired us to proceed with our morning walk and exercises. New friendship with them are easy to sustain and comes with opportunity for excitement and discovery.


Ask yourself what sort of friend you are to others.
Learning active listening and being empathic. Wanted to have the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Dislike crowds but love nature. Care about the dynamic changing situations, and that those around us would not get into problems. Would like to warn others about the coming bad weather, as it can be dangerous for elderly to walk around the park, or use the outdoor exercising equipments, during or after a downpour. Others reciprocated by informing us to be careful at the stretch of paths that were uneven.

Most of the friendships in our working lives died after leaving the company which were characterised by profound loneliness for the period immediately after the separation. The 'old friends' became part of history. We ever met those who after our separation, refused to acknowledge our past relationships. Total rejection appeared to be the better option. But each time, after a certain period of personal solitude and making new friendships, we recovered and live goes on.

In old age, we may or may not remember meeting so many people; some were passing acquaintances, others lingered in our lives longer. Among the latter there would be some we never really got to know and even some we decidedly did not want to know. However, we still have friendships that are growing, allowing inner security, and surer communication. Friendship is indeed a journey and can mature over time; it has its various seasons and challenges.


As we age, we must also be aware of the seasons of a friendship. Paula Ripple discusses the spring, summer, fall, and winter of friendships. [72] Spring is a season of excitement and discovery. New friendship are easier to sustain because there has been no time of testing, no past memory of coldness or conflict (see Song of Songs 2:10-12).


Spring is a season of excitement and discovery.
PHOTO: Spring is a season of excitement and discovery. New friendship are easier to sustain because there has been no time of testing, no past memory of coldness or conflict (see Song of Songs 2:10-12).
Picture posted by Lesya7 on 09 February 2017 - ItaIzu - Spring Love
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv5rnYsimx7Mmh_2ygAJ0gp6vCEUpCA3rYjFLFQt3jE3Sj8eQ74aSkXzpyL-EnejOnudE4aHvU4m__qwMorGPeqQYG0iKHeCe7tDihK1DaPyn6FSn_cyueS3k-IRDXTpaxKZmQDhhzbOo/s1487/itaizu___spring_love_by_lesya7_dayckn7-fullview.jpg
https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/5499374a-fc07-4b3b-aeec-32760594b9f4/dayckn7-75955854-b37b-4068-a883-4e44a1c7e8d2.jpg/v1/fill/w_1024,h_1487,q_75,strp/itaizu___spring_love_by_lesya7_dayckn7-fullview.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOiIsImlzcyI6InVybjphcHA6Iiwib2JqIjpbW3siaGVpZ2h0IjoiPD0xNDg3IiwicGF0aCI6IlwvZlwvNTQ5OTM3NGEtZmMwNy00YjNiLWFlZWMtMzI3NjA1OTRiOWY0XC9kYXlja243LTc1OTU1ODU0LWIzN2ItNDA2OC1hODgzLTRlNDRhMWM3ZThkMi5qcGciLCJ3aWR0aCI6Ijw9MTAyNCJ9XV0sImF1ZCI6WyJ1cm46c2VydmljZTppbWFnZS5vcGVyYXRpb25zIl19.X2ln2rn-K5SxZfMgL9BfOOHD3f98G23-5B3KZZbfqjQ
https://www.deviantart.com/lesya7/art/ItaIzu-Spring-Love-662355331


Summer is the season of growth, inner security, and surer communication (see Philippians 1:3, 6-7). Fall is marked by the profound loneliness that is experienced even in friendship. We come to terms with our own loneliness, a part of life no friend or lover can take away from us. There is a need to discover personal solitude (see John 14:1-2, 4).


Summer is the season of growth, inner security, and surer communication (see Philippians 1:3, 6-7).
PHOTO: Summer is the season of growth, inner security, and surer communication (see Philippians 1:3, 6-7).
Picture posted by Lesya7 on 08 February 2017 - SasuSaku - Summer Love
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitioGZjj4uwa_wIFoiSa7-QozNYq2NXbjY-XwG4wPHZlZAb0H9XLOYitvkIAP4yBrqWk7X581acF9TGNTLx2sGIA_uKwyqV8KfZFmc-hXt7jI6_U8Qs_xZS0VRLwsGqj-qZTg6GNLohH4/s1449/sasusaku___summer_love_by_lesya7_day7v8a-fullview.jpg
https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/5499374a-fc07-4b3b-aeec-32760594b9f4/day7v8a-435bbc91-597b-45e7-8067-66ab5b67145f.jpg/v1/fill/w_1024,h_1449,q_75,strp/sasusaku___summer_love_by_lesya7_day7v8a-fullview.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOiIsImlzcyI6InVybjphcHA6Iiwib2JqIjpbW3siaGVpZ2h0IjoiPD0xNDQ5IiwicGF0aCI6IlwvZlwvNTQ5OTM3NGEtZmMwNy00YjNiLWFlZWMtMzI3NjA1OTRiOWY0XC9kYXk3djhhLTQzNWJiYzkxLTU5N2ItNDVlNy04MDY3LTY2YWI1YjY3MTQ1Zi5qcGciLCJ3aWR0aCI6Ijw9MTAyNCJ9XV0sImF1ZCI6WyJ1cm46c2VydmljZTppbWFnZS5vcGVyYXRpb25zIl19.YTFeZP6UDcwOW5YhzB315R_Bbuk8kj2CI1cBIanGYYs
https://www.deviantart.com/lesya7/art/SasuSaku-Summer-Love-662135770


Fall is marked by the profound loneliness that is experienced even in friendship.
PHOTO: Fall is marked by the profound loneliness that is experienced even in friendship. We come to terms with our own loneliness, a part of life no friend or lover can take away from us. There is a need to discover personal solitude (see John 14:1-2, 4).
Picture posted by Lesya7 on 07 February 2017 -  ObiRin - Autumn Love
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6A3OUHueNvaPLSKKQ1OO7BQVVi5eHwl1C6ofUOpXOOg_CFAKFVd4ucz7eo-bjdLgc1zx5HLOjc_dsNNmIWSL0ffahCE25efA4_M-EcgydNzg496opW5NE4BaxxaHfSTeWMjH3FYs0kjE/s1133/obirin___autumn_love_by_lesya7_day45xb-fullview.jpg
https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/5499374a-fc07-4b3b-aeec-32760594b9f4/day45xb-79ce7b4a-c6da-469c-bfef-a9ef55e90b83.jpg/v1/fill/w_1024,h_1133,q_75,strp/obirin___autumn_love_by_lesya7_day45xb-fullview.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOiIsImlzcyI6InVybjphcHA6Iiwib2JqIjpbW3siaGVpZ2h0IjoiPD0xMTMzIiwicGF0aCI6IlwvZlwvNTQ5OTM3NGEtZmMwNy00YjNiLWFlZWMtMzI3NjA1OTRiOWY0XC9kYXk0NXhiLTc5Y2U3YjRhLWM2ZGEtNDY5Yy1iZmVmLWE5ZWY1NWU5MGI4My5qcGciLCJ3aWR0aCI6Ijw9MTAyNCJ9XV0sImF1ZCI6WyJ1cm46c2VydmljZTppbWFnZS5vcGVyYXRpb25zIl19.gc9gcSKt4L4PnWJiPuBzzfAMXwd8qYKl1zOcfQWK_gE
https://www.deviantart.com/lesya7/art/ObiRin-Autumn-Love-661963007


Winter is the season that brings out the faithfulness of friendship: the faithfulness to commitments and the quiet celebration of a long friendship (see Proverbs 17:17). This tells us that friendship is a journey and can mature over time; it has its various seasons and challenges.


Winter is the season that brings out the faithfulness of friendship: the faithfulness to commitments and the quiet celebration of a long friendship (see Proverbs 17:17).
PHOTO: Winter is the season that brings out the faithfulness of friendship: the faithfulness to commitments and the quiet celebration of a long friendship (see Proverbs 17:17).
Picture posted by Lesya7 on 08 February 2017 - MadaHaru(OC) - Winter Love
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYcQteyRnHF81gCWdhIgIMF2hRj1dukELLkH-DHa8YBgX67dwiJZkWXxzkTb6IeQ7Dn_0NJJ1hR4Ltkpz_QieldWf5GBzheFvSCjGqFVVFwSz4TAG7QmccmMrRaRJsQhQHIRMFZGQosaw/s1628/madaharu_oc____winter_love_by_lesya7_day900t-fullview.jpg
https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/5499374a-fc07-4b3b-aeec-32760594b9f4/day900t-f30115a5-8b40-4b9f-86b2-4903b287f3e8.jpg/v1/fill/w_1024,h_1628,q_75,strp/madaharu_oc____winter_love_by_lesya7_day900t-fullview.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOiIsImlzcyI6InVybjphcHA6Iiwib2JqIjpbW3siaGVpZ2h0IjoiPD0xNjI4IiwicGF0aCI6IlwvZlwvNTQ5OTM3NGEtZmMwNy00YjNiLWFlZWMtMzI3NjA1OTRiOWY0XC9kYXk5MDB0LWYzMDExNWE1LThiNDAtNGI5Zi04NmIyLTQ5MDNiMjg3ZjNlOC5qcGciLCJ3aWR0aCI6Ijw9MTAyNCJ9XV0sImF1ZCI6WyJ1cm46c2VydmljZTppbWFnZS5vcGVyYXRpb25zIl19.mI4QJOT9fttoXO_N6sEByhiOQQ44FOuAZ3ibHuG6Bk8
https://www.deviantart.com/lesya7/art/MadaHaru-OC-Winter-Love-662188637


Make a list of friends you have under the four seasons of friendship discussed in this chapter. How do you keep in touch with old close friends? Are you developing new friendships? Ask yourself what sort of friend you are to others.

Make a list of friends you have under the four seasons of friendship discussed in this chapter.
Spring friendship
  • Housing Development Board (HDB) exercise station's elderly uncle and aunties (starting to know them briefly for a while. They are already out exercising during the predawn hours)

Spring friendship
PHOTO: Spring friendship
Housing Development Board (HDB) exercise station's elderly uncle and aunties (starting to know them briefly for a while. They are already out exercising during the predawn hours)
Painting by Antonietta Varallo
Picture posted by Pussycatdreams
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9Bebblr2uhz2Ai6bqpVk35iWk-znrMKtIXTluZ5RFAbzOpMRIc7kcyigFEq0WsuGIg_fgbbrok70e-iU1c31PWC2HYOwOJcoqFzMW1zA-5PPuJoK-a5jcQE6uc-erRurYYNpw58ve7ag/s1042/aa97058f.jpg
http://pussycatdreams.p.u.pic.centerblog.net/o/aa97058f.jpg
http://pussycatdreams.centerblog.net/m/voir-photo?u=http://pussycatdreams.p.u.pic.centerblog.net/o/aa97058f.jpg


Summer friendship
  • Park Connector Network (PCN) elderly uncles (have been meeting them regularly during predawn since the past 5 years)

Summer friendship
PHOTO: Summer friendship
Park Connector Network (PCN) elderly uncles (have been meeting them regularly during predawn since the past 5 years)
Picture posted by Van Harl on 02 November 2006 - Going Home
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPFci0RuJsBtZ5mP7n3GEHmgnhgXJiHtzvKmu8CQH2p1N06W2GyP__AZEii5mTSutcFROte8-1Ho7Y8tyMW1P7jr7JGPphmFFu0PyS80LDxrvuHLuyFFKSL2wKGJgUEKCr7Nwts48s9fg/s1024/286054446_877060674a_b.jpg
https://live.staticflickr.com/110/286054446_877060674a_b.jpg
https://www.flickr.com/photos/vanharl/286054446/in/photostream/


Fall friendship
  • School classmate (had been with them 55 years ago, for about 3 to 5 years per level)
  • National Service and Reservist colleagues (had been with them 45 years ago, for about 16 years)
  • Previous company's fellow colleagues (had been with them 43 years ago, for about 1 year)
  • Tertiary classmate (had been with them 41 years ago, for about 2 years)
  • Previous company's fellow colleagues (had been with them 38 years ago, for about 1 year)
  • Previous company's fellow colleagues (had been with them 37 years ago, for about 6 years)
  • Previous company's fellow colleagues (had been with them 31 years ago, for about 13 years)
  • Previous company's fellow colleagues (had been with them 17 years ago, for about 8 years)
  • Facebook's group from E2I courses (studied together 8 years ago, for a few months)
  • Previous company's fellow colleagues (had been with them 8 years ago, for about 7 months)
  • Previous company's fellow colleagues (had been with them 7 years ago, for about 3 months)

Fall friendship
PHOTO: Fall friendship
Yesterday friendships that only have historical significance. Those friends became part of another continual story. Some are past classmates, army colleagues, and previous companies' fellow workers.
Picture saved by Claudia Williams to wedding
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiugvbhXLFThOqGF6O78FhsrR5C53WjD6AgLtbcglIyrJX9am8uknCS6xuawKuWjpmkwUeJB0DZAsV_-8EzkTMVAnbFaQFDNB3QcTKU5ccQ3NUxhSNp5n5mrFGhAs8H9k90NB3iO7k2tWw/s846/2ed5bc2ef93231568e7d91e53381aabb.jpg
https://i.pinimg.com/564x/2e/d5/bc/2ed5bc2ef93231568e7d91e53381aabb.jpg
https://www.pinterest.fr/pin/308144799485551744/?nic_v2=1af9Ed7Tf


Winter friendship
  • A middle-aged Permanent Resident, PR (colleague from previous company 31 years ago. Had not been contacting each other for quite some time)
  • No memory of any other with long and faithful friendship

Winter friendship
PHOTO: Winter friendship
A middle-aged Permanent Resident, PR (colleague from previous company 31 years ago. Had not been contacting each other for quite some time)
Painting by Vickie Wade  - Mother Three Daughters Blonde Mom
Picture posted by Fine Art America on 18 April 2018
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQEFeHD11Ws38rmMs2xCaJu8ZA-NQ_71CVpAeQz4b6YqnJzmvEgmgV4YBcrXfT2vA824pNDdO3FdPOH4ZjGrbfhLbOuLQPBHSqgwDRC9ldsLRuYvyGKT-ScihBt35I359APT0Gxr3YYUA/s764/mother-three-daughters-blonde-mom-vickie-wade_1.png
https://images.fineartamerica.com/images/artworkimages/mediumlarge/1/mother-three-daughters-blonde-mom-vickie-wade.jpg
https://fineartamerica.com/featured/mother-three-daughters-blonde-mom-vickie-wade.html


How do you keep in touch with old close friends?
One of the greatest gifts we can give in friendship is that of active listening. Active listening is attentive listening that focuses on feelings. Empathy is the best response, for it has to do with feeling into a person, and we are then able to respond compassionately. When communication involves feelings and when pronouns such as "I", "you", and "we" are used, it means we are communicating with one another deeply.


How do you keep in touch with old close friends?
PHOTO: How do you keep in touch with old close friends?
One of the greatest gifts we can give in friendship is that of active listening. Active listening is attentive listening that focuses on feelings. Empathy is the best response, for it has to do with feeling into a person, and we are then able to respond compassionately.
Picture posted by 1Durden1 on 12 June 2002 - B E - F O U R
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEito95irutqnx7F7uvAAclKHf_nDA_B2-6bQQKuwVTrIJu7i1WM7_l4UWln8WH-0SxnKjb2AjzoYlY82u6-84PcF6WEo8NMyN-hXryDAYh4ufuwoLb6WFqu5md-TIZzoidifzkAcHCpDxw/s1024/b_e___f_o_u_r_by_1durden1_d22s0ai-fullview.jpg
https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/9707a3e9-aebf-42f7-b87e-fde19ea0f48e/d22s0ai-ed376034-c3c4-4823-b835-3b3b549ee5ce.jpg/v1/fill/w_1024,h_686,q_75,strp/b_e___f_o_u_r_by_1durden1_d22s0ai-fullview.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOiIsImlzcyI6InVybjphcHA6Iiwib2JqIjpbW3siaGVpZ2h0IjoiPD02ODYiLCJwYXRoIjoiXC9mXC85NzA3YTNlOS1hZWJmLTQyZjctYjg3ZS1mZGUxOWVhMGY0OGVcL2QyMnMwYWktZWQzNzYwMzQtYzNjNC00ODIzLWI4MzUtM2IzYjU0OWVlNWNlLmpwZyIsIndpZHRoIjoiPD0xMDI0In1dXSwiYXVkIjpbInVybjpzZXJ2aWNlOmltYWdlLm9wZXJhdGlvbnMiXX0.KfoFGgUBblbwo_T5mvceiKQ_JiJDRrkvkE7jCJeM1UY
https://www.deviantart.com/1durden1/art/B-E-F-O-U-R-125598330


As we age, we need to reflect on our friendships with significant others. We have to ask questions and reflect on our active listening: Who are the people I like to listen to? Who are the people who are difficult for me to listen to? Who listens to me when it is important? When did my listening help someone? When did I fail to listen to someone who needed me? When did someone fail to listen to me? How do I listen?


As we age, we need to reflect on our friendships with significant others.
PHOTO: As we age, we need to reflect on our friendships with significant others. We have to ask questions and reflect on our active listening: Who are the people I like to listen to? Who are the people who are difficult for me to listen to? Who listens to me when it is important? When did my listening help someone? When did I fail to listen to someone who needed me? When did someone fail to listen to me? How do I listen?
Painting by Diane Fujimoto - Time to Think
Picture posted by fineartamerica.com on 30 July 2012
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRHg_9Ouqym5DTEG4CpukS8-1pFzOTTGBBhk7KeMLdtKAzgxOJKuNodE7hc5F2WaOG9KsuiP28qL3XyPW0q_eFazypLvB2qITochQtfMYNZJ6rjg5AWRRRUZ5n4LZQE0vVI-VnMadEXjU/s900/time-to-think-diane-fujimoto.jpg
https://images.fineartamerica.com/images-medium-large/time-to-think-diane-fujimoto.jpg
https://fineartamerica.com/featured/time-to-think-diane-fujimoto.html


We can learn much from Jesus, who told His disciples, "I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you" (John 15:15). He also said, "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends" (John 15:13). The marks of true friendship are sacrificial love and trusting transparency.


We can learn much from Jesus
PHOTO: We can learn much from Jesus, who told His disciples, "I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you" (John 15:15). He also said, "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends" (John 15:13). The marks of true friendship are sacrificial love and trusting transparency.
Picture posted by Prayers Room
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHIEhWbzlFOLYr-HnWauF_Qg98VJW6C9WTByvs_KRHQklybAx2Zi88mOqlf7H9ikk4qVT6fkG35n0SCDf4DPyJlbDBaEypX3ImCYVqY2IChsaiwuykVWry8MidusoIvtHDviTXoFhwlGA/s1118/I-call-you-My-friends-says-the-Lord-John-15-15.jpg
https://prayersroom.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/I-call-you-My-friends-says-the-Lord-John-15-15.jpg
https://prayersroom.com/daily-reflection-apr-29-2016/i-call-you-my-friends-says-the-lord-john-15-15/


Our friendship with Jesus helps us to be true friends to others. Can you think of some old and new friends who need your friendship?


Our friendship with Jesus helps us to be true friends to others.
PHOTO: Our friendship with Jesus helps us to be true friends to others. Can you think of some old and new friends who need your friendship?
Painting by Vickie Wade - A loving mother and her four daughters in the garden.
Picture posted by Etsy.com, VickieWadeFineArt on on 31 August 2016
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtFGOghay4MFLAvA44hIroiZV78AIaRJzqajh3TEK6OvIl46a2lwhS8aMz2ipnqaQW5_z1tjBjTQPiNtvmB7TuUGUxwWKQt-qS223baHoowKAnV_XEfyPFYz-mv6fGbM5z7qFL1LONBkQ/s1140/il_1140xN.1034715074_5jhi.jpg_1.png
https://i.etsystatic.com/5701942/r/il/14286c/1034715074/il_1140xN.1034715074_5jhi.jpg
https://www.etsy.com/listing/462193066/mother-and-four-daughters-art-print-four


Are you developing new friendships?
There are elderly uncle and aunties whom we met while on our journey during our pre-dawn walk and exercises. After a few times we started conversations and discovered that they started their morning routine from about 2 am. We did not met some of them before. However they responded to our greetings and conversations. One of the uncle even expressed intention to join us in our walk to the Park Connector Network, but was unable to because of his poor health. He need regular rest urgently or his body would become very weak and fall down. One other aunty in her eighties is very disciplined and took her exercise routine seriously. We even met her at the supermarket nearby, shopping for her family. Their determination in live inspired us to proceed with our morning walk and exercises. New friendship with them are easy to sustain and comes with opportunity for excitement and discovery.


Are you developing new friendships?
PHOTO: Are you developing new friendships?
There are elderly uncle and aunties whom we met while on our journey during our pre-dawn walk and exercises. After a few times we started conversations and discovered that they started their morning routine from about 2 am. We did not met some of them before. However they responded to our greetings and conversations. One of the uncle even expressed intention to join us in our walk to the Park Connector Network, but was unable to because of his poor health.
One other aunty in her eighties is very disciplined and took her exercise routine seriously. We even met her at the supermarket nearby, shopping for her family. Their determination in live inspired us to proceed with our morning walk and exercises. New friendship with them are easy to sustain and comes with opportunity for excitement and discovery.
Picture posted by Kathleen Coxwell on 06 July 2016
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https://cdn.newretirement.com/retirement/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/iStock_41243910_SMALL.jpg
https://www.newretirement.com/retirement/loneliness-puts-retirees-at-risk/
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2018/09/reflection-imitating-christ-difference.html
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2018/09/people-not-saving-enough-for-retirement.html
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2018/10/more-seniors-in-singapore-seek-long.html


Ask yourself what sort of friend you are to others.
Learning active listening and being empathic. Wanted to have the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Dislike crowds but love nature. Care about the dynamic changing situations, and that those around us would not get into problems. Would like to warn others about the coming bad weather, as it can be dangerous for elderly to walk around the park, or use the outdoor exercising equipments, during or after a downpour. Others reciprocated by informing us to be careful at the stretch of paths that were uneven.


Ask yourself what sort of friend you are to others.
PHOTO: Ask yourself what sort of friend you are to others.
Learning active listening and being empathic. Wanted to have the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Dislike crowds but love nature. Care about the dynamic changing situations, and that those around us would not get into problems.
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https://pixy.org/179087/


Most of the friendships in our working lives died after leaving the company which were characterised by profound loneliness for the period immediately after the separation. The 'old friends' became part of history. We ever met those who after our separation, refused to acknowledge our past relationships. Total rejection appeared to be the better option. But each time, after a certain period of personal solitude and making new friendships, we recovered and live goes on.


Most of the friendships in our working lives died after leaving the company which were characterised by profound loneliness for the period immediately after the separation.
PHOTO: Most of the friendships in our working lives died after leaving the company which were characterised by profound loneliness for the period immediately after the separation. The 'old friends' became part of history. We ever met those who after our separation, refused to acknowledge our past relationships. Total rejection appeared to be the better option. But each time, after a certain period of personal solitude and making new friendships, we recovered and live goes on.
Picture posted by  iStockphoto
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In old age, we may or may not remember meeting so many people; some were passing acquaintances, others lingered in our lives longer. Among the latter there would be some we never really got to know and even some we decidedly did not want to know. However, we still have friendships that are growing, allowing inner security, and surer communication. Friendship is indeed a journey and can mature over time; it has its various seasons and challenges.


Friendship is indeed a journey and can mature over time; it has its various seasons and challenges.
PHOTO: Friendship is indeed a journey and can mature over time; it has its various seasons and challenges. In old age, we may or may not remember meeting so many people; some were passing acquaintances, others lingered in our lives longer. Among the latter there would be some we never really got to know and even some we decidedly did not want to know. However, we still have friendships that are growing, allowing inner security, and surer communication.
Painting by Antonietta Varallo - (Talsano, Taranto 1954), The arch to the valley
Picture saved by MaKaila Kuchera to Artsy Fartsy
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https://www.pinterest.com/pin/503910645808351668/


Dear Lord
PHOTO: "Dear Lord, help us to be aware of the seasons of a friendship. The spring, summer, fall, and winter of friendships. Spring is a season of excitement and discovery. New friendship are easier to sustain because there has been no time of testing, no past memory of coldness or conflict. Summer is the season of growth, inner security, and surer communication. Fall is marked by the profound loneliness that is experienced even in friendship. We come to terms with our own loneliness, a part of life no friend or lover can take away from us. There is a need to discover personal solitude. Winter is the season that brings out the faithfulness of friendship: the faithfulness to commitments and the quiet celebration of a long friendship

Lord, thank You for giving us the greatest gifts which we can offer in a friendship, which is active listening. Active listening is attentive listening that focuses on feelings. Thank You too for having us being empathetic, which is the best response to a friendship. It has to do with feeling into a person, and we are then able to respond compassionately. Help us to use pronouns such as ‘I’, ‘you’, and ‘we’, and having communication involving feelings. So that we are communicating with one another deeply.

Help us to keep in touch with old close friends by having active listening. Help us to reflect and discover who are the people we like to listen to, and who are the people who are difficult for us to listen to. Grant us the knowledge to discover who listens to us when it is important, and when did our listening help someone. Help us to find out when we fail to listen to someone who needed us, and when someone fail to listen to us. Help us to know how to listen successfully.

Jesus once told His disciples that He called them friends, for everything that He learned from His Father, He had made known to them. He also said that ‘Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends’. Help us to learn that the marks of true friendship are sacrificial love and trusting transparency.

As our friendship with Jesus helps us to be true friends to others, help us to think of some old and new friends who need our friendship.

Thank You for having us still have new friendship with elderly uncles and aunties at the HDB exercise station. These new friendships are easy to sustain and comes with opportunity for excitement and discovery.

Help us to learn active listening and being empathic to others. May we have the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. We may dislike crowds but still have concern about our nature and surrounding. We want to care about the dynamic changing situations around us, and warn others of dangerous encounter with bad weather, uneven walking or jogging paths, and dangerous exercising equipments after a heavy downpour.

Most of our old friendships in our working lives had died after we left the company. Help us to overcome the profound loneliness for the period immediately after the separation, and subsequently became part of history. Grant us personal solitude and the opportunity to have new friendships, and continue with our live journey.

Although in our old age, we may or may not remember meeting so many people; some were passing acquaintances, others lingered in our lives longer. Among the latter there would be some we never really got to know and even some we decidedly did not want to know. However, we still have friendships that are growing, allowing inner security, and surer communication.

Lord, thank You for letting us realise that friendship is indeed a journey and can mature over time; it has its various seasons and challenges.

Through Lord Jesus Christ we pray. Amen!"
Painting by Antonietta Varallo - The stroll - Italy, A Walk with Grandpa
Picture posted by Ariananadia
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Reflection - Redemptive Relationships - Four Seasons of Friendship
Source (book): "Growing Old Gracefully", Following Jesus to the End, PART III: REDEMPTIVE RELATIONSHIPS, Chapter 18, "Friendship", Question 2, Page 121.
By Robert M. Solomon, Bishop of the Methodist Church in Singapore from 2000 - 2012



 
Also from the same author, Robert M. Solomon

"Faithful to the end", A Preacher's Exposition of 2 Timothy, @ 2014 by Robert M. Solomon

'Faithful to the end', A Preacher's Exposition of 2 Timothy, @ 2014 by Robert M. Solomon<br>
Reflection - Faithful to the end (Links)
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2017/06/reflection-faithful-to-end-links.html


"Finding rest for the soul" Responding to Jesus' Invitation in Matthew 11:28-29, © 2016 by Robert M. Solomon

Reflection - Finding rest for the soul (Links)
Reflection - Finding rest for the soul (Links)
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2018/10/reflection-finding-rest-for-soul-links.html


"God in Pursuit" Lessons from the Book of Jonah, © 2016 by Robert M. Solomon

'Reflection - God in Pursuit (Links) - PART I-III, posted on Saturday, 10 August 2019
Reflection - God in Pursuit (Links) - PART I-III, posted on Saturday, 10 August 2019
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2019/08/reflection-god-in-pursuit-links-part-i.html


"God in Pursuit" Lessons from the Book of Jonah, © 2016 by Robert M. Solomon

'Reflection - God in Pursuit (Links) - PART IV, posted on Saturday, 10 August 2019
Reflection - God in Pursuit (Links) - PART IV, posted on Saturday, 10 August 2019
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2019/08/reflection-god-in-pursuit-links-part-iv.html 


"Songs of Christmas", The Stories and Significance of 20 Well-Loved Carols, © 2018 by Robert M. Solomon

Reflection - Songs of Christmas (Links), posted on Friday, 24 April 2020
Reflection - Songs of Christmas (Links), posted on Friday, 24 April 2020
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2020/04/reflection-songs-of-christmas-links.html
 


Reference
[1] From "Growing Old Gracefully", Following Jesus to the End, Copyright © 2019 by Robert M. Solomon, ISBN 978-981-14-1836-5, PART III: REDEMPTIVE RELATIONSHIPS, Chapter 18, "Friendship", Page 117-120.

[72] Paula Ripple, Called to be Friends (Notre Dame, IN: Ave Maria Press, 1980), chap. 6.


Links


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