Sunday, May 22, 2022

Reflection - Journeying with yourself - The dangers of resentment

Source (book): "He Walks with Me - Devotions for Your Caregiving Journey with God", PART II "JOURNEYING WITH YOURSELF", Chapter 13 "The dangers of resentment", Page 38.
Adapted from books by Shelly Beach: Ambushed By Grace: Help and Hope in the Caregiving Journey, and It Is Well with My Soul.


My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.
PHOTO: My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. - James 1:19-20

Perhaps one of the hardest struggles we have is our battle with resentment - towards parents who demand much of us, towards siblings who make excuses, or towards friends who no longer seem to listen to our woes.

Why do we feel resentment? It could be because we believe that we're being asked to do what others won't. Or we feel we're being taken advantage of. Or we think that we're missing out on something. Perhaps our resentment runs even deeper: maybe it stems from a belief that we're entitled to something better, and God isn't being fair to us.

These are some of the hidden roots of resentment, and we need to be honest with ourselves - and with God - as we question our own thoughts and feelings. If we can spot the presence of resentment in our lives, we can take steps to prevent it from taking root and leading to a deeper bitterness in us.

Take some time to reflect on your own thoughts and feelings today, and be brutally honest as you ask yourself. Do I think God has given me more than I can handle? Do I think that people owe me gratitude and support? Take your answers to God in prayer. He welcomes an open candid conversation with you.

Am I a martyr? Martyrs try to get others to affirm their suffering on behalf of everyone else. They try to attract attention to their misery, so that everyone can recognise how bad their lives are. Deep inside, we might be working to show the world that God isn't good, because He's given us a raw deal.

Am I refusing to forgive? Bitterness and resentment can be an obstacle to forgiveness. Are we ready to acknowledge our own sin and pride, and lay our bitterness and anger at the foot of the cross? Are we prepared to see those have hurt us through Jesus' eyes?

Am I justifying my actions? Rational thinking can keep us from being subject to the whims of our emotions or others' demands. But when we wallow in resentment, we may begin to justify unrighteous choices, manipulative actions, and selfish behaviour. We may believe that people owe us something because of our sacrifices.

Am I rationalising? Some caregivers choose to "opt out" of their circumstances. They no longer care what happens, do the absolute minimum, and withdraw their hearts and compassion from their tasks. We may rationalise such behaviour by telling ourselves that we're entitled to bail because God has given us more than we can bear. Resignation is perhaps Satan's most insidious weapon, because it attacks our hearts, passion, and commitment to love God and others.

Resentment is really saying that God has given us a raw deal.
 

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. - James 1:19-20


My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.
PHOTO: My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. - James 1:19-20 
Picture posted by peace be with u, Diane Levy on 20 January 2019 at 09:00 am
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5ZD0PbFsodSXWrX-7KjICoAK6TjPY4O3V0BvgYnMO1T3cb2vG-xS1ft8jHmhJcc3iaTL0IVcHc1ys7Enmh0lSj7GTUnRCUPSayAyCOYAwO4ETF7bz6ByuoXiPtpOyuO5E2jF-16QzW_UWGUgnKTsuLMpZyihjF_eT1w1fWNz5zQgYS23KWigH1bOg/s1280/James-1-19-20-.webp
https://i0.wp.com/blog.peacebewithu.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/James-1-19-20-.jpg?fit=1280%2C720&ssl=1
https://blog.peacebewithu.com/listen-before-speaking/



Perhaps one of the hardest struggles we have is our battle with resentment - towards parents who demand much of us, towards siblings who make excuses, or towards friends who no longer seem to listen to our woes.

Why do we feel resentment? It could be because we believe that we're being asked to do what others won't. Or we feel we're being taken advantage of. Or we think that we're missing out on something. Perhaps our resentment runs even deeper: maybe it stems from a belief that we're entitled to something better, and God isn't being fair to us.


We feel resentment because we believe that we're being asked to do what others won't.
PHOTO: We feel resentment because we believe that we're being asked to do what others won't. Or we feel we're being taken advantage of. Or we think that we're missing out on something.
Perhaps our resentment runs even deeper: God isn't being fair to us.
Picture posted by Working Daughters - The Truth About Siblings and Caregiving

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUaAx7yc-91jVc7-PK1xJRou-7BOJDrg1VfgvVcShWO7fqFXmZIdGp1aLA5WCb2D6_V5LMvti7dkWE0oeYhaZ03saWLBSDWFfNXHbsWIgIZmsHNQE5q4P_wlmLCv-K_5IgO4EuaWY4l_xLgy6P-RYeyYWcpyhjirdEKOAgKw5UrG4hcOsIhYiARmm5/s1024/caregiver-siblings-w-gmail-892x1024.jpg
https://workingdaughter.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/caregiver-siblings-w-gmail-892x1024.jpg
https://workingdaughter.com/the-truth-about-siblings-and-caregiving/



These are some of the hidden roots of resentment, and we need to be honest with ourselves - and with God - as we question our own thoughts and feelings. If we can spot the presence of resentment in our lives, we can take steps to prevent it from taking root and leading to a deeper bitterness in us.

Take some time to reflect on your own thoughts and feelings today, and be brutally honest as you ask yourself. Do I think God has given me more than I can handle? Do I think that people owe me gratitude and support? Take your answers to God in prayer. He welcomes an open candid conversation with you.


We need to be honest with ourselves - and with God - as we question our own thoughts and feelings.
 

Am I a martyr? Martyrs try to get others to affirm their suffering on behalf of everyone else. They try to attract attention to their misery, so that everyone can recognise how bad their lives are. Deep inside, we might be working to show the world that God isn't good, because He's given us a raw deal.


Am I a martyr?
PHOTO: Am I a martyr?
Martyrs try to get others to affirm their suffering on behalf of everyone else. They try to attract attention to their misery, so that everyone can recognise how bad their lives are. Deep inside, we might be working to show the world that God isn't good, because He's given us a raw deal.
Picture posted by ithankyou on 08 June 2015
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO6HdXFcCtMxE4WJHH1LbE5wbClUFau8yfn3l4oYNuDFXeO_aVNDexRe3evZaaY5onkIkOUo0pJv2PU1FY8dAVqICV6LS8-So4AKit9rFXQqkUZCLFa-rHTkwjW5zWQyf6iVdihOQlhlnMrTFQUS89EMHrzs646TinHx-l_lBZ26kq4lJGaSi1pxAC/s1080/Blanche%20Sweet%20-%20Judith%20of%20Bethulia%20(1913)-1080x806.jpg
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjc9N3Rvz4AeRJSrl-71XWLiHzM6E1bkinFfj6mkEgS-j9C4ue15sHziLZusop4spS5pRL_gGGsOC6K0rJvIE_33sbTHcZ7QpibhMhK4gpUR-eXJwBZk14KW720fP9-Fl0XSBvGs4WQx6w/s1600/Blanche+Sweet+-+Judith+of+Bethulia+%25281913%2529.jpg
http://ithankyouarthur.blogspot.com/2015/06/fathers-day-judith-of-bethulia-1914-bfi.html



Am I refusing to forgive? Bitterness and resentment can be an obstacle to forgiveness. Are we ready to acknowledge our own sin and pride, and lay our bitterness and anger at the foot of the cross? Are we prepared to see those have hurt us through Jesus' eyes?


Am I refusing to forgive?
PHOTO: Am I refusing to forgive?
Bitterness and resentment can be an obstacle to forgiveness. Are we ready to acknowledge our own sin and pride, and lay our bitterness and anger at the foot of the cross? Are we prepared to see those have hurt us through Jesus' eyes?
Photo from Stock.Adobe
Picture posted by wday.ru

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEied8-623gikivA-u30S0vVIwKN8eTNQQO7Y0N_McVyWsrXRLk-L-uNUoNyAdgbSxsRUrtzFWeSi_V6avr0oF_pUKEpGCmT8NnitLFK3QNob-t9hJ_zv4MiHBPf1DIb1Ntx6KhDuxDwBm7Z9TRa6RoypArgU5eGnqVuoflZPmIEF4uqR_3gkRFG9NvN/s3240/3240x2160_1_b490d0cf5c2aed3150a91783462c0948@5000x3333_0xac120003_20888981011652727183.jpeg
https://n1s2.hsmedia.ru/79/e8/6c/79e86c1df161ba30e8202a1ca66d787a/3240x2160_1_b490d0cf5c2aed3150a91783462c0948@5000x3333_0xac120003_20888981011652727183.jpeg
https://www.wday.ru/seks-otnosheniya/psihologiya/vzyat-pauzu-v-otnosheniyakh-3-prichiny-za-i-3-prichiny-protiv/



Am I justifying my actions? Rational thinking can keep us from being subject to the whims of our emotions or others' demands. But when we wallow in resentment, we may begin to justify unrighteous choices, manipulative actions, and selfish behaviour. We may believe that people owe us something because of our sacrifices.


Am I justifying my actions?
PHOTO: Am I justifying my actions?
Rational thinking can keep us from being subject to the whims of our emotions or others' demands. But when we wallow in resentment, we may begin to justify unrighteous choices, manipulative actions, and selfish behaviour. We may believe that people owe us something because of our sacrifices.
Picture posted by Vera Blank, Obvious Magazine

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwOxnb-6DNPVOws1mYHubO9A4J7PqSnoZUNVAljhBCQF06PcoKCvosjVZ4SOO_-wPXwoCXwVHhqDiGEyUUDxT3mFdcCOElRc2b6MbOhImSlfr1EmKs30nEW-RCZQobLXlDxpH0Ohg1QyiGBDgyLz997JnLrixKFhnkvUy3JpOCunBc6CXjziDTqrHO/s914/shield-417826_1920.jpg
http://obviousmag.org/de_fora_para_dentro/2015/10/07/shield-417826_1920.jpg
http://obviousmag.org/de_fora_para_dentro/2015/sobre-a-mentira.html



Am I rationalising? Some caregivers choose to "opt out" of their circumstances. They no longer care what happens, do the absolute minimum, and withdraw their hearts and compassion from their tasks. We may rationalise such behaviour by telling ourselves that we're entitled to bail because God has given us more than we can bear. Resignation is perhaps Satan's most insidious weapon, because it attacks our hearts, passion, and commitment to love God and others.


Am I rationalising?
PHOTO: Am I rationalising?
Rationalising refers to a defense mechanism in which we give apparently logical reasons to justify or explain our controversial behaviors.
Some caregivers choose to "opt out" of their circumstances. They no longer care what happens, do the absolute minimum, and withdraw their hearts and compassion from their tasks. We may rationalise such behaviour by telling ourselves that we're entitled to bail because God has given us more than we can bear.
Picture posted by Chrissythehyphenated on 28 January 2018 at 05:29 pm - Rationalizations

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG_AeSICeVsLDRLFmYoEyP6Enyf73xcQy2RFzhGdqKRKhUKr7GhKtGlR3Z8JpexYRC4iKDmtCIb74GQT6oo1VFieOMVfQea0UJ7_TuzQDsz6v_x4ssTHtfS09GrXmVONqzWP1e91iIcnaRy2_H707AnqIRSGY1_MP5PW1etuKATsk3uIBI-I0hysgM/s1800/rationalization-toon.jpg
https://polination.files.wordpress.com/2018/01/rationalization-toon.jpg
https://polination.wordpress.com/2018/01/28/rationalizations/



Resentment is really saying that God has given us a raw deal.


Resentment is really saying that God has given us a raw deal.
PHOTO: "Dear Father, I recognise that I often try to put myself at the centre of everything. May your Spirit expose the lies in my thinking and the deception that blinds me to my victim mentality. May Your work teach me to trust, and may I be willing to conform my thinking to Your Word as I grow in gratitude and grace.

Through Lord Jesus Christ we pray. Amen!
"
Picture posted by Rabeya Yasmin - Peruvian Ground Cherry
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_0x5nlAgVylYPYGt3guWTSpleKyQ16p1XusD9GWmMqTm6K0ShIo9Hh2adxpCVXk4EyWjMjWu9alPKqWtrqp46njvmUarQiDBtlZcmwCxNJnig3vD5RSnxUPSUnr8VSbuaoaltZhc5RWRaIXvAThBOAwYKQpahH9oUl5-whNqUy1c1yKAei8fO41gC/s1350/f0f71327eae704e1767c3ea08e4d9fc5.jpg
https://i.pinimg.com/1200x/f0/f7/13/f0f71327eae704e1767c3ea08e4d9fc5.jpg
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/836051118337274091/


Reflection - Journeying with yourself - The dangers of resentment
Source (book): "He Walks with Me - Devotions for Your Caregiving Journey with God", PART II "JOURNEYING WITH YOURSELF", Chapter 13 "The dangers of resentment", Page 38.
Adapted from books by Shelly Beach: Ambushed By Grace: Help and Hope in the Caregiving Journey, and It Is Well with My Soul.




"Faithful to the end", A Preacher's Exposition of 2 Timothy, @ 2014 by Robert M. Solomon

'Faithful to the end', A Preacher's Exposition of 2 Timothy, @ 2014 by Robert M. Solomon<br>
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https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2017/06/reflection-faithful-to-end-links.html


"Finding rest for the soul" Responding to Jesus' Invitation in Matthew 11:28-29, ©
2016 by Robert M. Solomon

Reflection - Finding rest for the soul (Links)
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https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2018/10/reflection-finding-rest-for-soul-links.html


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2016 by Robert M. Solomon

'Reflection - God in Pursuit (Links) - PART I-III, posted on Saturday, 10 August 2019
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https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2019/08/reflection-god-in-pursuit-links-part-i.html


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2016 by Robert M. Solomon

'Reflection - God in Pursuit (Links) - PART IV, posted on Saturday, 10 August 2019
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https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2019/08/reflection-god-in-pursuit-links-part-iv.html
 


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2018 by Robert M. Solomon

Reflection - Songs of Christmas (Links), posted on Friday, 24 April 2020
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https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2020/04/reflection-songs-of-christmas-links.html
 

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Reflection - Growing Old Gracefully, Part I - III (Links), posted on Wednesday, 09 December 2020
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https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2020/12/reflection-growing-old-gracefully-part.html
 

Reflection - Growing Old Gracefully, Part IV - V (Links), posted on Thursday, 22 April 2021
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https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2020/12/reflection-growing-old-gracefully-part_9.html
 

"Teach Us to Number Our Days", © 2008 by David Roper

Reflection - Number Our Days, Chapter 1 - 40 (Links), posted on Tuesday, 16 November 2021
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https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2021/11/reflection-number-our-days-chapter-1-40.html
 
 
Reflection - Number Our Days, Chapter 41 - 64 (Links), posted on Wednesday, 16 March 2022
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https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2022/03/reflection-number-our-days-chapter-41.html



Reference
[1] From "He Walks with Me - Devotions for Your Caregiving Journey with God", Copyright © 2018 by Our Daily Bread Ministries, PART II "JOURNEYING WITH YOURSELF", Chapter 13 "The dangers of resentment", Page 38-39.


Links


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