Wednesday, November 4, 2020

Reflection - Redemptive Relationships - Engaging and Enjoying the Family

Source (book): "Growing Old Gracefully", Following Jesus to the End, PART III: REDEMPTIVE RELATIONSHIPS, Chapter 19, "Engaging and Enjoying the Family", Question 1, Page 129.
By Robert M. Solomon, Bishop of the Methodist Church in Singapore from 2000 - 2012


How can family life be both a blessing and a crucible of pain and suffering?
PHOTO: How can family life be both a blessing and a crucible of pain and suffering?
Family life is one of life's highest blessing, especially if one is blessed with a loving and caring family. Some of the best memories a person can have are related to his family: growing up, falling in love, getting married, having children, and experiencing significant family moments of pain and suffering, crisis and challenge, as well as joy and laughter.

But for some, family life can also be the place where the greatest hurts are experienced. Some may recall little more than unfaithfulness, neglect, abuse, and strained relationships when they think of their families. As family relationships are often the closest social relationships we have, they make us most vulnerable. Family members have the greatest potential to inflict pain.


Why do the closest relationships have the potential to do the most damage?
How a family functions or malfunctions can become a pattern that is repeated down the generations. The biblical stories of the ancient patriarchs demonstrate this. Take, for instance, Abraham's response to personal danger. God had called him to leave Ur to go to Canaan. When there was a famine in Canaan, Abraham decided to go to Egypt to survive. Before entering Egypt, he told his wife, Sarai, "I know what a beautiful woman you are. When the Egyptians see you, they will say, 'This is his wife.' Then they will kill me but will let you live. Say you are my sister, so that I will be treated well for your sake and my life will be spared because of you" (Genesis 12:11-13).

Notice immediately Abraham's strategy of self-preservation. He lied to save his own skin. Worse, he was willing to sacrifice his wife's safety and honour for his own survival. In that panicky moment of fear for his life, he ignored all that God had promised him - that he and his wife would produce a great nation (Genesis 12:2).

Years later, Abraham's son Isaac went to the land of the Philistines to escape another famine. There, he repeated his father's mistake (Genesis 26:1-11). Fearing for his life, he lied that his wife Rebekah was his sister.

The two stories bear a striking resemblance. It was as if the very same script had been handed down from one generation to the next. Other scripts are also played out in this ancient family. For example, the story of favouritism. Isaac favoured his son Esau (Genesis 25:28). Esau's twin brother Jacob plotted with his mother (who favoured him) to deceive his father, who was blind because of old age. He managed to divert Isaac's intended blessing for Esau to himself. Years later, Jacob, similarly favoured his son Joseph above all other siblings (Genesis 37:3).

How do such family "scripts" get passed on? The usual answers are nature (genes), nurture (upbringing), and spirit (spiritual heritage or baggage). Though this is not the place to discuss them in detail, probably all three are true.


How can this be avoided?
The more important thing is determining what to do with our family scripts. If they are good, we must pass on the blessings. If they are bad, we must write new scripts to replace them. Whatever the case, we must discover the story of Jesus, whose script is found in Scripture. When we place our faith in Christ and walk with Him, we can live out His script, which involves love, forgiveness, righteousness, and faithfulness.

We are never too old to do something positive about our family lives. Perhaps some elderly people feel a sense of regret at having messed up. But as long as we are alive, we can bless our families. Here are some thoughts:

  • Confess the things you have done against your family members and ask them for forgiveness. Likewise, be willing to forgive those who have hurt you in the past. It is good to end earthly lives with a sense of closure as we follow Jesus who, before He died, prayed for His enemies and tormentors to be forgiven (Luke 23:34).
  • You may have more time in your senior years to devote to family members, offering a listening ear and a sympathetic helping hand.
  • If you have grandchildren, you can pass on your family's good heritage by investing in their lives. Some grandparents act as foster parents to their grandchildren because the parents are too busy and stressed out with their daily routines. But some become resentful at having to carry such a burden in old age, especially if they are not appreciated. Some heart-to-heart sharing and negotiation may help.
  • Pray for your family members daily, bringing them into God's light where they can receive His promises and loving attention. Remember that family relationships are not meant to hurt, but to heal. We are not meant to hate but to love, not to hide but to know and be known, not to blame but to forgive. If you have not done this before, take a family picture, and by faith, see Jesus in that picture. What a difference that makes?
  • As a grandparent or an ageing parent, you can leave your family what is ultimately valuable and important to you. Don't leave behind merely superficial trinkets of life (material things and passing fancies), but the very spiritual treasures that you have found.

Christian writer and poet John Leax put it well when writing about his grandfather:

Spilled from a mildewed box
you are
the pieces of a faded puzzle
working alone I have spread your dull colors
face up on the table
but have done no more
you are
difficult
I have tried all the combinations
but fail to build even your border
for you have given me extra pieces
and withheld the one I need.

How important it is to remember that "Grandchildren are the crown of the aged" (Proverbs 17:6 ESV). What does the above poem mean? Simply this: The one thing we often withhold from our family members, for various reasons, is our heart. We need to turn our hearts towards our loved ones. Consider the intergenerational biblical portrait of old people in the scene as children playing. "Once again old men and women will walk Jerusalem's streets with their canes and will sit together in the city squares. And the streets of the city will be filled with boys and girls at play" (Zechariah 8:4-5 NLT). What a wonderful picture!
Picture posted by techgnotic on 27 September 2011 -  The collapse of hope in the heart of a heartbroken child
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifG815JDJREIQNDDNsdNPW12FQ3R1d96gikX6Spimb2T2_WJgZ6WzJdfIANFxmvxdH50NBmPD4PWHJqE4heBs8wqzUS8l5TfX18s83MRzZI7xDaW3X3QdAGenXKCO8tbqeJGUzsU6P9xA/s900/love___mom_and_dad_by_yuumei_d2rt719-fullview.jpg
https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/454c2ed9-5cc2-484f-8449-167203bd7623/d2rt719-499bc2f0-2b3e-415a-96aa-c01776e4ce5b.png/v1/fill/w_600,h_900,q_80,strp/love___mom_and_dad_by_yuumei_d2rt719-fullview.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOiIsImlzcyI6InVybjphcHA6Iiwib2JqIjpbW3siaGVpZ2h0IjoiPD05MDAiLCJwYXRoIjoiXC9mXC80NTRjMmVkOS01Y2MyLTQ4NGYtODQ0OS0xNjcyMDNiZDc2MjNcL2QycnQ3MTktNDk5YmMyZjAtMmIzZS00MTVhLTk2YWEtYzAxNzc2ZTRjZTViLnBuZyIsIndpZHRoIjoiPD02MDAifV1dLCJhdWQiOlsidXJuOnNlcnZpY2U6aW1hZ2Uub3BlcmF0aW9ucyJdfQ.0BB2XV3m4-9VfK3yrhxVHOaw4FWa9loOWHu--959Xg0
https://www.deviantart.com/hq/journal/Flash-of-Lightning-Resonant-Thunder-260409957

 

How can family life be both a blessing and a crucible of pain and suffering? Why do the closest relationships have the potential to do the most damage? How can this be avoided?

How can family life be both a blessing and a crucible of pain and suffering? [1]
Family life is one of life's highest blessing, especially if one is blessed with a loving and caring family. Some of the best memories a person can have are related to his family: growing up, falling in love, getting married, having children, and experiencing significant family moments of pain and suffering, crisis and challenge, as well as joy and laughter. [73]


Family life is one of life's highest blessing, especially if one is blessed with a loving and caring family.
PHOTO: Family life is one of life's highest blessing, especially if one is blessed with a loving and caring family. Some of the best memories a person can have are related to his family: growing up, falling in love, getting married, having children, and experiencing significant family moments of pain and suffering, crisis and challenge, as well as joy and laughter.
Picture posted by Shutterstock

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2suLYQ4Ou3GDnaVGpw3PokZ4RJsT50vmUvV5-dg1NT-LK3WPmh4tcMS8mgIllQt3EwiCC-IISmW_r4dkXCmRtg7mLQ8ngNCMGt6qUB04Ewp8boZ5qj_By2aZVkGUVvjdKZpO3dByNlZ8/s1500/stock-photo-405754363_1.png
https://image.shutterstock.com/z/stock-photo-baby-and-mother-hugging-kissing-topless-portrait-outdoor-summer-nature-on-blurred-green-background-405754363.jpg
https://www.shutterstock.com/sv/image-photo/baby-mother-hugging-kissing-topless-portrait-405754363



But for some, family life can also be the place where the greatest hurts are experienced. Some may recall little more than unfaithfulness, neglect, abuse, and strained relationships when they think of their families. As family relationships are often the closest social relationships we have, they make us most vulnerable. Family members have the greatest potential to inflict pain.


But for some, family life can also be the place where the greatest hurts are experienced.
PHOTO: But for some, family life can also be the place where the greatest hurts are experienced. Some may recall little more than unfaithfulness, neglect, abuse, and strained relationships when they think of their families.
Picture saved by Donna Reinholt to Appalachian life , the early years
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNipULPktsABxvqvT9e7D6bmbpknidlDiqqyS7TIDPd45R0ZJU5pwpjQ8UfmK68HUu1Dgk1oB-ukXVLE7-mk3byeQMEmwzTs3cd87r0Nyy8rK6yWLCQaD4FuGovp9LkGJ8PF_4O7WSHZA/s736/143dcafef8ca0aa7c6cf64d36ba861f0.jpg
https://i.pinimg.com/564x/14/3d/ca/143dcafef8ca0aa7c6cf64d36ba861f0.jpg
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/565905509397416237/
https://www.google.com.sg/imgres?imgurl=https://heidiwaltztown.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/29.jpg?w%3D640&imgrefurl=https://attorneysofhighlandsranch.com/2013/03/14/negotiating-the-parenting-plan/&h=960&w=640&tbnid=Md0_k2aDxOytIM&tbnh=275&tbnw=183&usg=AI4_-kT8AhWx4RpQ4dkP_xfV3LpTttd9vA&vet=1&docid=GKYbP_dSXA-pxM&hl=en#imgrc=r1hhnp7zeOop3M&imgdii=ooUi8OuCBTVvwM



Why do the closest relationships have the potential to do the most damage? [1]
How a family functions or malfunctions can become a pattern that is repeated down the generations. The biblical stories of the ancient patriarchs demonstrate this. Take, for instance, Abraham's response to personal danger. God had called him to leave Ur to go to Canaan. When there was a famine in Canaan, Abraham decided to go to Egypt to survive. Before entering Egypt, he told his wife, Sarai, "I know what a beautiful woman you are. When the Egyptians see you, they will say, 'This is his wife.' Then they will kill me but will let you live. Say you are my sister, so that I will be treated well for your sake and my life will be spared because of you" (Genesis 12:11-13).


When there was a famine in Canaan, Abraham decided to go to Egypt to survive.
PHOTO: When there was a famine in Canaan, Abraham decided to go to Egypt to survive. Before entering Egypt, he told his wife, Sarai, "I know what a beautiful woman you are. When the Egyptians see you, they will say, 'This is his wife.' Then they will kill me but will let you live. Say you are my sister, so that I will be treated well for your sake and my life will be spared because of you" (Genesis 12:11-13).
Picture posted by My Bible First!
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCZh2CSuxG0lTBYU9K6HwHnSX1pKARsiUln53pUVXeY90MngR0WHlnbkbNgUfJecZ2OAfD-OoiIN-eN3UI6QJKgCCFTmlBFWRBYE9P8VSNwkJ8cpBwboT1ArSWg19gOja1zSRDg4DKaYA/s1659/05.jpg
http://igemorzsa.hu/gyerek_oldal/biblia-tanulmany/I.evfolyam/I.negyed/kepek/12/05.jpg
http://igemorzsa.hu/gyerek_oldal/biblia-tanulmany/I.evfolyam/I.negyed/kozep/12.html



Notice immediately Abraham's strategy of self-preservation. He lied to save his own skin. Worse, he was willing to sacrifice his wife's safety and honour for his own survival. In that panicky moment of fear for his life, he ignored all that God had promised him - that he and his wife would produce a great nation (Genesis 12:2).


Notice immediately Abraham's strategy of self-preservation.
Notice immediately Abraham's strategy of self-preservation.
PHOTO: Notice immediately Abraham's strategy of self-preservation. He lied to save his own skin. Worse, he was willing to sacrifice his wife's safety and honour for his own survival. In that panicky moment of fear for his life, he ignored all that God had promised him - that he and his wife would produce a great nation
(Genesis 12:2).
Picture posted by siyamak5 on 07 December 2014
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIbBZoySEzhSy4inQQafmiuykeWKRRA7owdW_FCfC9RQnXSQEu95cky7SSpnFVCUZ7Ok7n8SIn6jA8wtxV1G7uDCZLQKMRtktGaiSo98bzqSjPdH0BqC88q7trWMDHgOgv2ym6pllboHo/s982/d88yeeq-573499b8-e3de-4908-ba75-6755ecf0bb3a.gif
https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/a81fb7c6-8435-49b7-afd2-a7ef32f145ed/d88yeeq-573499b8-e3de-4908-ba75-6755ecf0bb3a.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOiIsImlzcyI6InVybjphcHA6Iiwib2JqIjpbW3sicGF0aCI6IlwvZlwvYTgxZmI3YzYtODQzNS00OWI3LWFmZDItYTdlZjMyZjE0NWVkXC9kODh5ZWVxLTU3MzQ5OWI4LWUzZGUtNDkwOC1iYTc1LTY3NTVlY2YwYmIzYS5qcGcifV1dLCJhdWQiOlsidXJuOnNlcnZpY2U6ZmlsZS5kb3dubG9hZCJdfQ.maN108lAyrdsPiGo3v6Ubm6ya2mCIcGk9o8zOhmSvkE
https://www.deviantart.com/siyamak5/art/18-498771314



Years later, Abraham's son Isaac went to the land of the Philistines to escape another famine. There, he repeated his father's mistake (Genesis 26:1-11). Fearing for his life, he lied that his wife Rebekah was his sister.


How a family functions or malfunctions can become a pattern that is repeated down the generations.
PHOTO: How a family functions or malfunctions can become a pattern that is repeated down the generations.
Years later, Abraham's son Isaac went to the land of the Philistines to escape another famine. There, he repeated his father's mistake
(
Genesis 26:1-11). Fearing for his life, he lied that his wife Rebekah was his sister.
Picture posted by AllPosters - A wife for Isaac

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1o-rBBFglXUcg4OvgEdg6fNoRxn4fMQXIbXiMzoaXyi7IVYSQXptw5wlJUgLw7H-XFcUSesNF6zQer-GiGrmWDlgIXjPyusIW1EWDA98zy54czTLJh7-QPHeAETNKyWrQSlK1oHRo_1w/s825/u-g-PCI4SC0_1.jpg
https://imgc.allpostersimages.com/img/print/u-g-PCI4SC0.jpg?w=900&h=900&p=0
https://www.allposters.com/-sp/A-Wife-for-Isaac-Posters_i7691689_.htm



The two stories bear a striking resemblance. It was as if the very same script had been handed down from one generation to the next. Other scripts are also played out in this ancient family. For example, the story of favouritism. Isaac favoured his son Esau (Genesis 25:28). Esau's twin brother Jacob plotted with his mother (who favoured him) to deceive his father, who was blind because of old age. He managed to divert Isaac's intended blessing for Esau to himself. Years later, Jacob, similarly favoured his son Joseph above all other siblings (Genesis 37:3).


The story of favouritism. Isaac favoured his son Esau (Genesis 25:28).
PHOTO: The story of favouritism. Isaac favoured his son Esau (Genesis 25:28). Esau's twin brother Jacob plotted with his mother (who favoured him) to deceive his father, who was blind because of old age. He managed to divert Isaac's intended blessing for Esau to himself. Years later, Jacob, similarly favoured his son Joseph above all other siblings (Genesis 37:3).
Artwork by Julius Schnorr von Carolsfeld, 1860 - Isaac Blesses Jacob, Old Testament
Picture posted by Alamy - Rebekah and Jacob deceive Isaac into giving the blessing to Jacob

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxU7RT49b0i_KQ9VLwYv5ukJcI-wDGFuEwMPoGzpegZWNyy5bPS828pmy70UPo7vm5W6QM7Olw5QZ1i8EyQmQRY_x8UMVpj6ay81jhSrUAPkQFEOykWmRSpVOWp38qVAA3a9UBEotwGW0/s1300/1860-2BJ3H5X_1.png
https://c8.alamy.com/comp/2BJ3H5X/isaac-blesses-jacob-old-testament-by-julius-schnorr-von-carolsfeld-1860-2BJ3H5X.jpg
https://www.alamy.com/isaac-blesses-jacob-old-testament-by-julius-schnorr-von-carolsfeld-1860-image355350518.html



How do such family "scripts" get passed on? The usual answers are nature (genes), nurture (upbringing), and spirit (spiritual heritage or baggage). Though this is not the place to discuss them in detail, probably all three are true.


How do such family 'scripts' get passed on?
PHOTO: How do such family "scripts" get passed on? The usual answers are nature (genes), nurture (upbringing), and spirit (spiritual heritage or baggage). Though this is not the place to discuss them in detail, probably all three are true.
Picture posted by St-takla - Rebekah and Jacob deceive Isaac into giving the blessing to Jacob

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiye_3qcxgVJ_ss9Ivhv6lqPfpHmlfjTVPQSoVMOsgJzPUpNrdt5rlxs90pQy2WqATN7MwMQTiTmcDX4V_HPnJ3cFDM13YhOlupM1QA9QUnfMvV7uW5XP3Wo2a1cZAIr45X6HpmMrmM9Tw/s640/Isaac-into-giving-the-blessing-to-Jacob.jpg
https://st-takla.org/Gallery/var/albums/Bible/Illustrations/Standard-Bible/3-Standard-Bible-Story-Readers-Book-Three/www-St-Takla-org--11-Rebekah-and-Jacob-deceive-Isaac-into-giving-the-blessing-to-Jacob.jpg?m=1419425511
https://st-takla.org/Gallery/Bible/Illustrations/Standard-Story-Readers/3-Standard-Bible-Story-Readers-Book-Three/11-Rebekah-and-Jacob-deceive-Isaac-into-giving-the-blessing-to-Jacob.html



How can this be avoided? [1]
The more important thing is determining what to do with our family scripts. If they are good, we must pass on the blessings. If they are bad, we must write new scripts to replace them. Whatever the case, we must discover the story of Jesus, whose script is found in Scripture. When we place our faith in Christ and walk with Him, we can live out His script, which involves love, forgiveness, righteousness, and faithfulness.


We must discover the story of Jesus, whose script is found in Scripture.
PHOTO: We must discover the story of Jesus, whose script is found in Scripture. When we place our faith in Christ and walk with Him, we can live out His script, which involves love, forgiveness, righteousness, and faithfulness.
Picture posted by Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society of Pennsylvania

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGhFJEdrO2xDEyfPstYOejUzppRl4KDQw7ERADUPxkAZLwhptkfeTbSTn5v7zJAMtPUvPmpQmVNfhLUi7qBsQCoS9icSBGts5mY8cQlbWUp9tGrjq4GPsOCnFegW0wFoQ4R-YiqNlXwlo/s900/2016249_univ_cnt_1_xl.jpg
https://assetsnffrgf-a.akamaihd.net/assets/m/2016249/univ/art/2016249_univ_cnt_1_xl.jpg
https://www.jw.org/en/library/magazines/watchtower-no4-2016-july/leprosy-divorce-in-the-bible/



We are never too old to do something positive about our family lives. Perhaps some elderly people feel a sense of regret at having messed up. But as long as we are alive, we can bless our families. Here are some thoughts:

  • Confess the things you have done against your family members and ask them for forgiveness. Likewise, be willing to forgive those who have hurt you in the past. It is good to end earthly lives with a sense of closure as we follow Jesus who, before He died, prayed for His enemies and tormentors to be forgiven (Luke 23:34).

Confess the things you have done against your family members and ask them for forgiveness.
PHOTO: Confess the things you have done against your family members and ask them for forgiveness. Likewise, be willing to forgive those who have hurt you in the past. It is good to end earthly lives with a sense of closure as we follow Jesus who, before He died, prayed for His enemies and tormentors to be forgiven (Luke 23:34).
Photo by Ulkar
Picture posted by Toni Tails on 15 November 2019

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgW_opKIPziz61eXqRUG1dpAcXV3fIE4PZBxPhfw3yR4hvAeCLD4Gun5_uVsFOkbervjSdIBUkMt275RoWIuncUgY-zDlpe_QGqzbCU-HwI3Y0mSDAk4AzDKLy31l8jrnm7v-4q3jDuKvM/s1350/1+tX4MK_2mdbf7LnrDfR8E4A.jpeg
https://miro.medium.com/max/1350/1*tX4MK_2mdbf7LnrDfR8E4A.jpeg
https://medium.com/survivors/this-is-how-i-made-a-lying-rapist-confess-8c715a2d9db6


 

  • You may have more time in your senior years to devote to family members, offering a listening ear and a sympathetic helping hand.

You may have more time in your senior years to devote to family members, offering a listening ear and a sympathetic helping hand.
PHOTO: You may have more time in your senior years to devote to family members, offering a listening ear and a sympathetic helping hand.
Picture posted by Tu Compra Solidaria Doukonía Mayores on Saturday, 22 August 2020 at 10:10pm

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFCWyHH8RAbY_7lnoeNicBTaSAJ4gTkO5ATBqGntZ2gZ3nHf0X4jZBZFAinIaNk1pPmhzRwl5a5Kbr4sQd5N-qV9eM3lmPeK-eRhcIBJINKk-ycz1KWfYSGGdkLdsuDtA7gcn2P3nC4Xk/s960/118139713_1116547755413542_1376034993446508581_o.jpg
https://scontent.fsin9-2.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/s960x960/118139713_1116547755413542_1376034993446508581_o.jpg?_nc_cat=103&ccb=2&_nc_sid=110474&_nc_ohc=Du5zzKORTtYAX98gLe0&_nc_ht=scontent.fsin9-2.fna&tp=7&oh=a99c3d97754199f7be92284ce7a3c5c7&oe=5FC6EC5B
https://www.facebook.com/TuCompraSolidariaDoukoniaMayores/photos/a.230139694054357/1116547752080209/?type=3&theater



  • If you have grandchildren, you can pass on your family's good heritage by investing in their lives. Some grandparents act as foster parents to their grandchildren because the parents are too busy and stressed out with their daily routines. But some become resentful at having to carry such a burden in old age, especially if they are not appreciated. Some heart-to-heart sharing and negotiation may help.
 
If you have grandchildren, you can pass on your family's good heritage by investing in their lives. PHOTO: If you have grandchildren, you can pass on your family's good heritage by investing in their lives. Some grandparents act as foster parents to their grandchildren because the parents are too busy and stressed out with their daily routines.
Picture posted by Etsy

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbU_CIWpN_1ADOXNFeiav1DNeKb2gE0_Sirc-ROweoVDKdcKGNRI3fUD-FCFMxD7-GFgmiaRLkZye_TtkfYS273GIIc16saaYiHwTzbewODnwRiP4N0_szIKWDm9-HZNllQ_0-SdwqEJk/s1615/il_1140xN.2080787577_dep4.jpg
https://i.etsystatic.com/6226037/r/il/2b164f/2080787577/il_1140xN.2080787577_dep4.jpg
https://www.etsy.com/listing/190024301/grandpa-and-grandson-art-toddler-boy-art?epik=dj0yJnU9QTZOcTJvOU5hRUVoTnp3cmE1LU1SbHBJSjIwbFhzVDUmcD0wJm49QU40TnhQV1RGZlFIZ2NnWllUb21tUSZ0PUFBQUFBRi1oSS1r



  • Pray for your family members daily, bringing them into God's light where they can receive His promises and loving attention. Remember that family relationships are not meant to hurt, but to heal. We are not meant to hate but to love, not to hide but to know and be known, not to blame but to forgive. [74] If you have not done this before, take a family picture, and by faith, see Jesus in that picture. What a difference that makes?

Pray for your family members daily, bringing them into God's light where they can receive His promises and loving attention.
PHOTO: Pray for your family members daily, bringing them into God's light where they can receive His promises and loving attention.
 Remember
that family relationships are not meant to hurt, but to heal. We are not meant to hate but to love, not to hide but to know and be known, not to blame but to forgive.
Picture posted by Depositphotos

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdbTu4TzHKVzCwMVXJZAqbCWrIGzft93zX6I0N_SOf88jB-kLlFTq6f1wGqQO5Yk7AMTxFBWlipLEivE1_fHdIDhuoM2xvM2oyiMenMW2wz-xy8RlU2aKgxkLvkDV7_kEGDRd5oILfbJg/s1600/depositphotos_176043412_1.png
https://st3.depositphotos.com/1005647/17604/i/1600/depositphotos_176043412-stock-photo-elderly-man-praying.jpg
https://depositphotos.com/176043412/stock-photo-elderly-man-praying.html


 
  • As a grandparent or an ageing parent, you can leave your family what is ultimately valuable and important to you. Don't leave behind merely superficial trinkets of life (material things and passing fancies), but the very spiritual treasures that you have found.

As a grandparent or an ageing parent, you can leave your family what is ultimately valuable and important to you.
PHOTO: As a grandparent or an ageing parent, you can leave your family what is ultimately valuable and important to you. Don't leave behind merely superficial trinkets of life (material things and passing fancies), but the very spiritual treasures that you have found.
Picture saved by PATTY VEGA to AMOROSO PADRE CELESTIAL

Christian writer and poet John Leax put it well when writing about his grandfather: [75]

Spilled from a mildewed box
you are
the pieces of a faded puzzle
working alone I have spread your dull colors
face up on the table
but have done no more
you are
difficult
I have tried all the combinations
but fail to build even your border
for you have given me extra pieces
and withheld the one I need.
 

You are difficult.
PHOTO: You are difficult. I have tried all the combinations but fail to build even your border, for you have given me extra pieces and withheld the one I need.
The one thing we often withhold from our family members, for various reasons, is our heart. We need to turn our hearts towards our loved ones. 
Picture saved by Jon Tromp to 9 flower - Howard McWilliam illustration
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhf8P2OyewByk2Li9KzutBZ5fXGSAEO3k65d10t38EydaR7CSwB89jBwZHLyvvruG-GLHgvvdeALhyGjOrxe-d8mxdEYW2LPcX5mK0cIdJ2EVEQTbWOOlnPT02ogJsZeJstvn5MV6K0sDc/s1200/27ca384c732cced2bd967484cfe363f0.jpg
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/27/ca/38/27ca384c732cced2bd967484cfe363f0.jpg
https://in.pinterest.com/pin/792281759438021873/


How important it is to remember that "Grandchildren are the crown of the aged" (Proverbs 17:6 ESV). What does the above poem mean? Simply this: The one thing we often withhold from our family members, for various reasons, is our heart. We need to turn our hearts towards our loved ones. Consider the intergenerational biblical portrait of old people in the scene as children playing. "Once again old men and women will walk Jerusalem's streets with their canes and will sit together in the city squares. And the streets of the city will be filled with boys and girls at play" (Zechariah 8:4-5 NLT). What a wonderful picture!


Once again old men and women will walk Jerusalem's streets with their canes
Dear Lord
PHOTO: "Dear Lord, thank You for giving us family life which is one of life's highest blessing, especially if one is blessed with a loving and caring family. Some of the best memories we can have are related to our family: growing up, falling in love, getting married, having children, and experiencing significant family moments of pain and suffering, crisis and challenge, as well as joy and laughter.

Help us when our family life is experiencing the greatest hurts. As our family relationships are often the closest social relationships we have, they make us most vulnerable. Our family members have the greatest potential to inflict pain. Some may recall little more than unfaithfulness, neglect, abuse, and strained relationships when we think of our families.

Our closest relationships can have the potential to do the most damage that are passed down the generations, as in biblical stories. Our response to personal danger could be like Abraham's strategy of self-preservation. He lied that his wife, Sarai was his sister, to save his own skin. Worse, he was willing to sacrifice her safety and honour, for his own survival. In that panicky moment of fear for his life, he ignored all that God had promised him - that he and his wife would produce a great nation.

Similarly years later, Abraham's son Isaac went to the land of the Philistines to escape another famine. There, he repeated his father's mistake. Fearing for his life, he lied that his wife Rebekah was his sister.

The two stories bear a striking resemblance. It was as if the very same script had been handed down from one generation to the next. Other scripts are also played out in this ancient family. Help us not to be tempted into favouritism. Just like Isaac favoured his son Esau, and his mother favoured his twin brother Jacob. Jacob plotted with his mother to deceive his father, who was blind because of old age. He managed to divert Isaac's intended blessing for Esau to himself. Years later, Jacob, similarly favoured his son Joseph above all other siblings.

Such family ‘scripts’ are passed on probably due to our nature (genes), nurture (upbringing), and spirit (spiritual heritage or baggage).

Lord help us to determine what to do with our family scripts. If they are good, we must pass on the blessings. If they are bad, we must write new scripts to replace them.

Help us to discover the story of Jesus from the Scripture. Help us to place our faith in Christ and walk with Him, so that we can live out His script, which involves love, forgiveness, righteousness, and faithfulness.

Although we aged, but we learn that it is never too old to do something positive about our family lives. Some of us, elderly people feel a sense of regret at having messed up. But as long as we are alive, help us to bless our families.

We need Your guidance to confess the things we have done against our family members, and to ask them for forgiveness.

Help us to have more time in our senior years to devote to family members, offering a listening ear and a sympathetic helping hand.

When we have grandchildren, help us to pass on our family's good heritage by investing in their lives. Guide us, grandparents, to be able to act as foster parents to our grandchildren when their parents are too busy and stressed out with their daily routines. Help us not to be resentful at having to carry such a burden in old age, especially if we are not appreciated. Help us to have heart-to-heart sharing and negotiation in such cases.

We pray for our family members get into God's light where they can receive His promises and loving attention. We pray that our family relationships are not meant to hurt, but to heal, not meant to hate but to love, not to hide but to know and be known, not to blame but to forgive. May we have the faith to see Jesus in our family picture.

Lord, help us to leave for our family what is ultimately valuable and important to us, the very spiritual treasures that we have found.

Help us to remember that ‘Grandchildren are the crown of the aged’. But the one thing we often withhold from our family members, for various reasons, is our heart. We need to turn our hearts towards our loved ones. Help us ‘once again old men and women will walk Jerusalem's streets with their canes and will sit together in the city squares. And the streets of the city will be filled with boys and girls at play’.

Through Lord Jesus Christ we pray. Amen!
"
Picture posted by siyamak5 on 07 December 2014
Reflection - Redemptive Relationships - Engaging and Enjoying the Family
Source (book): "Growing Old Gracefully", Following Jesus to the End, PART III: REDEMPTIVE RELATIONSHIPS, Chapter 19, "Engaging and Enjoying the Family", Question 1, Page 129.
By Robert M. Solomon, Bishop of the Methodist Church in Singapore from 2000 - 2012




Other Books
 
Also from the same author, Robert M. Solomon

"Faithful to the end", A Preacher's Exposition of 2 Timothy, @ 2014 by Robert M. Solomon

'Faithful to the end', A Preacher's Exposition of 2 Timothy, @ 2014 by Robert M. Solomon<br>
Reflection - Faithful to the end (Links)
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2017/06/reflection-faithful-to-end-links.html


"Finding rest for the soul" Responding to Jesus' Invitation in Matthew 11:28-29, ©
2016 by Robert M. Solomon

Reflection - Finding rest for the soul (Links)
Reflection - Finding rest for the soul (Links)
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2018/10/reflection-finding-rest-for-soul-links.html


"God in Pursuit" Lessons from the Book of Jonah, ©
2016 by Robert M. Solomon

'Reflection - God in Pursuit (Links) - PART I-III, posted on Saturday, 10 August 2019
Reflection - God in Pursuit (Links) - PART I-III, posted on Saturday, 10 August 2019
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2019/08/reflection-god-in-pursuit-links-part-i.html


"God in Pursuit" Lessons from the Book of Jonah, ©
2016 by Robert M. Solomon

'Reflection - God in Pursuit (Links) - PART IV, posted on Saturday, 10 August 2019
Reflection - God in Pursuit (Links) - PART IV, posted on Saturday, 10 August 2019
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2019/08/reflection-god-in-pursuit-links-part-iv.html
 


"Songs of Christmas", The Stories and Significance of 20 Well-Loved Carols, ©
2018 by Robert M. Solomon

Reflection - Songs of Christmas (Links), posted on Friday, 24 April 2020
Reflection - Songs of Christmas (Links), posted on Friday, 24 April 2020

https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2020/04/reflection-songs-of-christmas-links.html
 


Reference
[1] From "Growing Old Gracefully", Following Jesus to the End, Copyright © 2019 by Robert M. Solomon, ISBN 978-981-14-1836-5, PART III: REDEMPTIVE RELATIONSHIPS, Chapter 19, "Engaging and Enjoying the Family", Page 123-128.

[73] See Jernigan and Jernigan, Aging in Chinese Society, 103. One of the conclusions of the author's study is that in the case of Chinese elders, "the family continues to be the primary source of meaning and purpose for life". This may also be said of other cultures, though social changes in family structures and attitudes may affect the role of the family in the life of seniors.

[74] Jack O. Balswick and Judith K. Balswick, The Family: A Christian Perspective on the Contemporary Home, (Michigan: Baker Book House, 1989), 19-33.

[75] See Robert M. Solomon, Fire for the Journey: Reflections for a God-guided Life (Singapore: Armour, 2002), 35.


Links


New International Version (NIV), Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Genesis 12:2 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis+12%3A2&version=NIV

Genesis 12:11-13 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis+12%3A11-13&version=NIV

Genesis 26:1-11 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis+26%3A1-11&version=NIV

Genesis 25:28 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis+25%3A28&version=NIV

Genesis 37:3 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis+37%3A3&version=NIV

Luke 23:34 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+23%3A34&version=NIV

Matthew 11:28-29 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+11%3A28-29&version=NIV

Proverbs 17:6 ESV - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+17%3A6&version=ESV

Zechariah 8:4-5 NLT - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Zechariah+8%3A4-5&version=NLT