Source Website: https://www.tnp.sg/news/singapore/some-caregivers-hurt-charges-out-stress
By Cheow Sue-Ann, Goh Ruoxue, The New Paper, 25 July 2019 at 06:00 am
By Cheow Sue-Ann, Goh Ruoxue, The New Paper, 25 July 2019 at 06:00 am
PHOTO: Experts say frustration builds up and caregivers lash out in the heat of the moment
TNP PHOTO ILLUSTRATION
Picture posted by Cheow Sue-Ann, Goh Ruoxue, The New Paper on 25 July 2019 at 06:00 am
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https://www.tnp.sg/sites/default/files/styles/rl780/public/articles/2017/06/11/anger.jpg?itok=LwZk2XZh
https://www.tnp.sg/news/singapore/some-caregivers-hurt-charges-out-stress
He had thoughts of killing his mother and then ending his life. Since his father and two siblings had died, he had been shouldering the responsibility of caring for her alone for more than 10 years.
At 70, James (not his real name) was the sole caregiver to his 90-year-old mother, despite being elderly himself.
Because of her limited mobility, he had to be there for her constantly, leaving him with no time for himself, leading to a build-up of stress and anxiety.
Experts told The New Paper that caregivers are often the ones who abuse the elderly because they are overwhelmed.
James was referred to Sage Counselling Centre and sought help from Ms Berlinda Tan, a counsellor there.
She told TNP: "Many caregivers get frustrated and stressed-out. Some get overwhelmed and act out in the heat of the moment but feel remorseful after hitting their parents.
"In Asian culture, we are encouraged to practise values such as filial piety. But the stress can be so overwhelming to some that they end up hurting their loved ones."
Ms Tan's client received counselling from her and his mother was provided with home-care services. This gave him respite and let him enjoy some personal time without having to worry about his mother or feel guilty about leaving her alone at home.
TNP PHOTO ILLUSTRATION
Picture posted by Cheow Sue-Ann, Goh Ruoxue, The New Paper on 25 July 2019 at 06:00 am
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https://www.tnp.sg/sites/default/files/styles/rl780/public/articles/2017/06/11/anger.jpg?itok=LwZk2XZh
https://www.tnp.sg/news/singapore/some-caregivers-hurt-charges-out-stress
He had thoughts of killing his mother and then ending his life. Since his father and two siblings had died, he had been shouldering the responsibility of caring for her alone for more than 10 years.
At 70, James (not his real name) was the sole caregiver to his 90-year-old mother, despite being elderly himself.
Because of her limited mobility, he had to be there for her constantly, leaving him with no time for himself, leading to a build-up of stress and anxiety.
Experts told The New Paper that caregivers are often the ones who abuse the elderly because they are overwhelmed.
James was referred to Sage Counselling Centre and sought help from Ms Berlinda Tan, a counsellor there.
She told TNP: "Many caregivers get frustrated and stressed-out. Some get overwhelmed and act out in the heat of the moment but feel remorseful after hitting their parents.
"In Asian culture, we are encouraged to practise values such as filial piety. But the stress can be so overwhelming to some that they end up hurting their loved ones."
Ms Tan's client received counselling from her and his mother was provided with home-care services. This gave him respite and let him enjoy some personal time without having to worry about his mother or feel guilty about leaving her alone at home.
PHOTO: Ms Tan's client received counselling from her and his mother was provided with home-care services. This gave him respite and let him enjoy some personal time without having to worry about his mother or feel guilty about leaving her alone at home.
Illustration: Julien Pacaud
Picture posted by HARPO PRODUCTIONS, INC.
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http://www.oprah.com/spirit/how-to-care-for-elderly-parents-elder-care/all
The Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF) shared a composite case, which showed up common issues.
It used the example of a Mrs Tan, whose needs increased over time. Her son, Jack, found it harder to cope with caregiving and became extremely frustrated.
When Mrs Tan did not comply with Jack's instructions, he would hit her and shout at her, making her fearful of him.
Even after the authorities reached out to Jack, he refused help and did not allow social workers to see his mother.
MSF said after getting help to create a safety and support plan, Jack learnt different ways of coping with caregiver stress.
Ms Evonne Lek, a family therapist, said of abusers who are primary caregivers: "They have no outlet and might display abusive behaviours. Caregiving can be quite isolating, as often these elderly individuals cannot be left alone and require constant attention from their caregivers."
The Government realises caregiver burnout needs to be addressed. During a marathon seven-hour Parliament session in February, 25 MPs and six office-holders spoke of the importance of helping Singaporeans age well and providing support for caregivers.
Illustration: Julien Pacaud
Picture posted by HARPO PRODUCTIONS, INC.
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http://www.oprah.com/spirit/how-to-care-for-elderly-parents-elder-care/all
The Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF) shared a composite case, which showed up common issues.
It used the example of a Mrs Tan, whose needs increased over time. Her son, Jack, found it harder to cope with caregiving and became extremely frustrated.
When Mrs Tan did not comply with Jack's instructions, he would hit her and shout at her, making her fearful of him.
Even after the authorities reached out to Jack, he refused help and did not allow social workers to see his mother.
MSF said after getting help to create a safety and support plan, Jack learnt different ways of coping with caregiver stress.
Ms Evonne Lek, a family therapist, said of abusers who are primary caregivers: "They have no outlet and might display abusive behaviours. Caregiving can be quite isolating, as often these elderly individuals cannot be left alone and require constant attention from their caregivers."
The Government realises caregiver burnout needs to be addressed. During a marathon seven-hour Parliament session in February, 25 MPs and six office-holders spoke of the importance of helping Singaporeans age well and providing support for caregivers.
PHOTO: The Government realises caregiver burnout needs to be addressed. During a marathon seven-hour Parliament session in February, 25 MPs and six office-holders spoke of the importance of helping Singaporeans age well and providing support for caregivers.
Illustration: Julien Pacaud
Picture posted by HARPO PRODUCTIONS, INC.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhypzgHzIbe70t15U-ZoqT6m9-oD_e6mG7sLfimyvXElIvgUvst9l8el2LBq-PByB1a55i3urMBy9yZzISua9ytuXRhcSVj2YEPkyTzCxG68O3lByIg-paT9LZu4styO8HR4jmdTdu4N_k/s1600/201411-omag-caregivers-essays-6-949x534_1.jpg
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http://www.oprah.com/spirit/how-to-care-for-elderly-parents-elder-care/all
Led by Dr Chia Shi-Lu (Tanjong Pagar GRC), the MPs stressed the important role caregivers play in helping seniors age well.
MPs called for more financial assistance to be given to caregivers, especially those who give up their jobs to take care of their family members.
They also suggested the Government consider a caregiver allowance, particularly for full-time caregivers taking care of an elderly person with disabilities or mental health problems.
Illustration: Julien Pacaud
Picture posted by HARPO PRODUCTIONS, INC.
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http://www.oprah.com/spirit/how-to-care-for-elderly-parents-elder-care/all
Led by Dr Chia Shi-Lu (Tanjong Pagar GRC), the MPs stressed the important role caregivers play in helping seniors age well.
MPs called for more financial assistance to be given to caregivers, especially those who give up their jobs to take care of their family members.
They also suggested the Government consider a caregiver allowance, particularly for full-time caregivers taking care of an elderly person with disabilities or mental health problems.
PHOTO: Led by Dr Chia Shi-Lu (Tanjong Pagar GRC), the MPs stressed the important role caregivers play in helping seniors age well.
Illustration: Julien Pacaud
Picture posted by HARPO PRODUCTIONS, INC.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7I4G6VKvkb_SEpa0WkS4tqQEBnDOURms6yUalGYkwa8tvAiAQ088gKWhKSZHYDgznB5UCQuZRqvVyDKb9YouFblmJt9Cpc4U4F8IIrk5GmXWLgjN69aZW07aBOkfCXPRQSWOHcAZB2tQ/s1600/201411-omag-caregivers-essays-3-949x534_1.jpg
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http://www.oprah.com/spirit/how-to-care-for-elderly-parents-elder-care/all
Past cases
By domestic helpers
June 29, 2019 A domestic worker was filmed mistreating a wheelchair-bound elderly woman at Geylang Bahru Market and Food Centre. She pinched the woman's breast, prodded her cheek and shoved her fingers into the woman's mouth multiple times. Chinese evening daily Lianhe Wanbao reported that the maid had been fired.
July 2014 A 25-year-old domestic helper repeatedly shook, slapped and punched a 96-year-old woman over her face and body. Closed-circuit television (CCTV) footage in the home showed the maid elbowing her, pulling her hair and beating her. She was sentenced to 10 months' jail in 2016.
By nursing home staff
November 2018 The Straits Times reported that a nurse, 36, at Orange Valley Nursing Home punched a 77-year-old resident, who had dementia. He was sentenced to 12 weeks' jail in March.
Illustration: Julien Pacaud
Picture posted by HARPO PRODUCTIONS, INC.
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http://www.oprah.com/spirit/how-to-care-for-elderly-parents-elder-care/all
Past cases
By domestic helpers
June 29, 2019 A domestic worker was filmed mistreating a wheelchair-bound elderly woman at Geylang Bahru Market and Food Centre. She pinched the woman's breast, prodded her cheek and shoved her fingers into the woman's mouth multiple times. Chinese evening daily Lianhe Wanbao reported that the maid had been fired.
July 2014 A 25-year-old domestic helper repeatedly shook, slapped and punched a 96-year-old woman over her face and body. Closed-circuit television (CCTV) footage in the home showed the maid elbowing her, pulling her hair and beating her. She was sentenced to 10 months' jail in 2016.
By nursing home staff
November 2018 The Straits Times reported that a nurse, 36, at Orange Valley Nursing Home punched a 77-year-old resident, who had dementia. He was sentenced to 12 weeks' jail in March.
Helplines for elder abuse
For survivors of elder abuse
COMCARE HOTLINE: 1800-222-0000 (24 hours)
FAMILY VIOLENCE SPECIALIST CENTRES:
Pave: 6555-0390 (Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday: 9am to 1pm, 2pm to 6pm; Wednesday: 9am to 6.30pm)
Trans Safe Centre: 6449-9088 (Monday to Friday: 9am to 5pm) Care Corner Project StART: 6476-1482
The Seniors Helpline: 1800-555-5555 (Monday to Friday: 8.30am to 5.30pm)
For caregivers
Sage Counselling Centre: 6354-1191 (Monday to Friday: 8.30am to 5.30pm)
Touch Caregivers Support: 6804-6555 (Monday to Friday: 9am to 5pm)
PHOTO: The Bible has much on how older people should be treated by others. [2]
An older man is to be treated like a father while an older woman is to be treated like a mother. This would include treating them with respect while caring for them and their needs. 1 Timothy 5:1-2 states, "Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity."
We are warned against the mistreatment of our parents when they grow old. Proverbs 23:22 states, "Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old." Jesus is our example in this because He made sure that His mother had someone to care for her even as He suffered on the cross (see John 19:26-27). Even nephews are responsible for widowed aunts if there are no children (1 Timothy 5:4). [2]
"In the way of righteousness there is life; along that path is immortality." (Proverbs 12:28).
Picture posted by Sophee Smile on 20 Jul 2015
gif file generated by Animated Images Effects Generator at http://www.webestools.com/animated-images-effect-generator-effects-gif-images-picture-blog-gif-fx-images-animated-effect.html
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http://sopheesmiles.com/delhi-for-days/
By Cheow Sue-Ann, Goh Ruoxue, The New Paper, 25 July 2019 at 06:00 am
Get The New Paper on your phone with the free TNP app. Download from the Apple App Store or Google Play Store now
Other stories
Public healthcare system to be regrouped into three clusters, posted on Tuesday, 23 July 2019
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2019/07/public-healthcare-system-to-be.html
Tan Tock Seng Hospital employees walk towards better health, posted on Friday, 26 October 2018
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2018/10/tan-tock-seng-hospital-employees-walk.html
HCA Hospice Care beneficiaries tour Istana gardens, posted on Wednesday, 12 September 2018
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2018/09/hca-hospice-care-beneficiaries-tour.html
US nurse discovers colleague doctor, posted on Sunday, 09 September 2018
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2018/09/us-nurse-discovers-colleague-doctor.html
Nurses go extra mile for patients in their final lap, posted on Thursday, 05 July 2018
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2018/07/nurses-go-extra-mile-for-patients-in.html
Senior nurses can soon refer patients to community rehabilitation, posted on Friday, 06 April 2018
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2018/04/senior-nurses-can-soon-refer-patients.html
Healthcare on seniors a ‘big item’ in Budget: Indranee, posted on Saturday, 27 January 2018
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2018/01/healthcare-on-seniors-big-item-in.html
Overcoming obstacles to become nurses, posted on Tuesday, 01 August 2017
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2017/08/overcoming-obstacles-to-become-nurses.html
Ang Mo Kio Thye Hwa Kuan (Week 2), 12-16 December 2016 - Reflection, posted on Tuesday, 20 December 2016
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2016/12/ang-mo-kio-thye-hwa-kuan-week-2-12-16.html
Ang Mo Kio Thye Hwa Kuan (Week 1), 05 - 09 December 2016 - Reflection, posted on Monday, 19 December 2016
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2016/12/ang-mo-kio-thye-hwa-kuan-week-1-05-09.html
Reference
[1] Cheow Sue-Ann, Goh Ruoxue, The New Paper, Some caregivers hurt charges out of stress, posted on 25 July 2019 at 06:00 am, https://www.tnp.sg/news/singapore/some-caregivers-hurt-charges-out-stress
[2] Learn the Bible, Elder Abuse - What Does The Bible Say about It?, http://www.learnthebible.org/elder-abuse-what-does-the-bible-say-about-it.html
Links
An older man is to be treated like a father while an older woman is to be treated like a mother. This would include treating them with respect while caring for them and their needs. 1 Timothy 5:1-2 states, "Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity."
We are warned against the mistreatment of our parents when they grow old. Proverbs 23:22 states, "Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old." Jesus is our example in this because He made sure that His mother had someone to care for her even as He suffered on the cross (see John 19:26-27). Even nephews are responsible for widowed aunts if there are no children (1 Timothy 5:4). [2]
"In the way of righteousness there is life; along that path is immortality." (Proverbs 12:28).
Picture posted by Sophee Smile on 20 Jul 2015
gif file generated by Animated Images Effects Generator at http://www.webestools.com/animated-images-effect-generator-effects-gif-images-picture-blog-gif-fx-images-animated-effect.html
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http://sopheesmiles.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/DSC_59211.jpg
http://sopheesmiles.com/delhi-for-days/
By Cheow Sue-Ann, Goh Ruoxue, The New Paper, 25 July 2019 at 06:00 am
Get The New Paper on your phone with the free TNP app. Download from the Apple App Store or Google Play Store now
Other stories
Public healthcare system to be regrouped into three clusters, posted on Tuesday, 23 July 2019
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2019/07/public-healthcare-system-to-be.html
Public healthcare sector to be reorganised into 3 integrated clusters, new polyclinic group to be formed, posted on Monday, 22 July 2019
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2019/07/public-healthcare-sector-to-be.html
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2019/07/public-healthcare-sector-to-be.html
Mental health must be a national priority, posted on Saturday, 09 March 2019
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2019/03/mental-health-must-be-national-priority.html
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2019/03/mental-health-must-be-national-priority.html
Nursing their way to a mid-career switch, posted on Monday, 21 January 2019
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2019/01/nursing-their-way-to-mid-career-switch.html
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2019/01/nursing-their-way-to-mid-career-switch.html
First nurse in Alexandra Hospital who can prescribe medicines, posted on Tuesday, 08 January 2019
Biannual flu jabs may be better for seniors: Study, posted on Saturday, 27 October 2018
Tan Tock Seng Hospital employees walk towards better health, posted on Friday, 26 October 2018
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2018/10/tan-tock-seng-hospital-employees-walk.html
HCA Hospice Care beneficiaries tour Istana gardens, posted on Wednesday, 12 September 2018
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2018/09/hca-hospice-care-beneficiaries-tour.html
US nurse discovers colleague doctor, posted on Sunday, 09 September 2018
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2018/09/us-nurse-discovers-colleague-doctor.html
Nurses go extra mile for patients in their final lap, posted on Thursday, 05 July 2018
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2018/07/nurses-go-extra-mile-for-patients-in.html
Senior nurses can soon refer patients to community rehabilitation, posted on Friday, 06 April 2018
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2018/04/senior-nurses-can-soon-refer-patients.html
Healthcare on seniors a ‘big item’ in Budget: Indranee, posted on Saturday, 27 January 2018
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2018/01/healthcare-on-seniors-big-item-in.html
Overcoming obstacles to become nurses, posted on Tuesday, 01 August 2017
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2017/08/overcoming-obstacles-to-become-nurses.html
Ang Mo Kio Thye Hwa Kuan (Week 2), 12-16 December 2016 - Reflection, posted on Tuesday, 20 December 2016
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2016/12/ang-mo-kio-thye-hwa-kuan-week-2-12-16.html
Ang Mo Kio Thye Hwa Kuan (Week 1), 05 - 09 December 2016 - Reflection, posted on Monday, 19 December 2016
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2016/12/ang-mo-kio-thye-hwa-kuan-week-1-05-09.html
Reference
[1] Cheow Sue-Ann, Goh Ruoxue, The New Paper, Some caregivers hurt charges out of stress, posted on 25 July 2019 at 06:00 am, https://www.tnp.sg/news/singapore/some-caregivers-hurt-charges-out-stress
[2] Learn the Bible, Elder Abuse - What Does The Bible Say about It?, http://www.learnthebible.org/elder-abuse-what-does-the-bible-say-about-it.html
Links
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New International Version (NIV), Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
1 Timothy 5:1-2 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Timothy+5%3A1-2&version=NIV
1 Timothy 5:4 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Timothy+5%3A4&version=NIV
John 19:26-27 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+19%3A26-27&version=NIV
Proverbs 12:28 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+12%3A28&version=NIV
Proverbs 23:22 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+23%3A22&version=NIV
Google Play Store - https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.sph.mypaperpdf&hl=en
New International Version (NIV), Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
1 Timothy 5:1-2 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Timothy+5%3A1-2&version=NIV
1 Timothy 5:4 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Timothy+5%3A4&version=NIV
John 19:26-27 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+19%3A26-27&version=NIV
Proverbs 12:28 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+12%3A28&version=NIV
Proverbs 23:22 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+23%3A22&version=NIV
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- https://www.tnp.sg/sites/default/files/styles/rl780/public/articles/2017/06/11/anger.jpg?itok=LwZk2XZh
- https://www.tnp.sg/news/singapore/some-caregivers-hurt-charges-out-stress
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- http://static.oprah.com/images/o2/201411/201411-omag-caregivers-essays-4-949x534.jpg - (201411-omag-caregivers-essays-4-949x534_1.jpg)
- http://www.oprah.com/spirit/how-to-care-for-elderly-parents-elder-care/all
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- http://www.oprah.com/spirit/how-to-care-for-elderly-parents-elder-care/all
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- http://www.oprah.com/spirit/how-to-care-for-elderly-parents-elder-care/all
- http://www.webestools.com/animated-images-effect-generator-effects-gif-images-picture-blog-gif-fx-images-animated-effect.html
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- http://sopheesmiles.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/DSC_59211.jpg
- http://sopheesmiles.com/delhi-for-days/
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