Sunday, March 13, 2011

When ‘yes’ really means ‘yes’

Weekend Today, March 12 - 13, 2011, Column, Page T3 (The Fairer Text)
From http://imcmsimages.mediacorp.sg/CMSFileserver/documents/006/PDF/20110312/1203COW003.pdf
Source Website: http://www.todayonline.com/Columns/Thefairertext/EDC110312-0000053/When-yes-really-means-yes
By Georgina Chang, georginac@mediacorp.com.sg, 04:46 AM Mar 12, 2011




PHOTO: Here’s how a guy can tell when a girl is into him. Another giveaway sign is whether she laughs at every lame joke you make ... Does she look at you adoringly as if you were Jerry Seinfeld?
Weekend Today, March 12 - 13, 2011, Column, Page T3 (The Fairer Text)



PHOTO: Georgina Chang
The writer is the senior creative director of 987FM and Lush 99.5.
Weekend Today, March 12 - 13, 2011, Column, Page T3 (The Fairer Text)


I'M VERY open when it comes to my feelings. If I like a guy, he'll know exactly what I'd like to do with him.

If I don't fancy him, I won't tell him that I couldn't return his SMS for months because I was trekking the Himalayas and couldn't get a signal.

There's just too many challenges in life to waste precious time playing games. The pleasurable part of courtship is spending quality time together, seeing a different perspective on life, discovering new cuisines and experiencing varied activities.

Growing and learning is better than being confused and frustrated, right?

However, I've realised that many women are less straightforward. Yes, some women like to play hard to get.

One said: "The smart woman will keep him guessing."

Well guys, even the most indiscernible woman will unwittingly display subtle signs that she's interested. All you have to do is look closely.

The most obvious indication is her eye contact. If she likes what she sees, she'll look your way often.

Sometimes accompanied by a shy smile with downcast eyes, or preening of her hair or dress.

But please don't be misled by a few glances. She could be trying to figure out why you keep staring at her with a toothy grin. Or she's shortsighted and not looking at you, but through you. Or she's checking out the cute guy behind you.

Another cue to notice is her hair. Her crowning glory reflects her emotional state. Why do you think women cut off all their hair after a bad break up?

If her hair was tied up, the presence of an attractive man would magically loosen the rubber band and her hair would naturally cascade down her shoulders.

If she keeps touching and playing with her hair, that's also a flirty sign. But to be very sure, do take a careful look at her scalp. She may have dandruff or nits bothering her.

A friend shared a quote from his "bible" called The Game: Penetrating The Secret Society Of Pick-up Artists by Neil Strauss, about tucking her hair behind her ears - but watch her palm closely. If it faces out towards you, then you're in. If it faces in away from you, then you're out and might as well try for her less attractive friend instead.


If she's cool with you, she'll also mirror your body language. Lean back, and she leans back. Lean forward and she does too. Put one hand on the table and hey presto, her hand's there. That's a great sign. Or she could be a copycat psycho. That's when you scan for signs of glazed craziness in her eyes.

You'll also notice that there's close proximity, and even frequent touching of your arm if she likes you. Yes, some women are naturally touchy-feely, but the message is in the pressure. If it's a light touch that lingers on, that's good. If it's a gentle squeeze every now and then, that's also promising. If it's a hearty slap, shift away slightly. If it's a hearty slap on your thigh, get the hell out of there.

Another giveaway sign is whether she laughs at every lame joke you make. Even though you know that was really poor material, does she go giggling uncontrollably and look at you adoringly as if you were Jerry Seinfeld? Even if you said: "Oh, those onions make me farty all day", is she chuckling away at how endearingly cute you are? (Of course, do realise that those endearing farts will be reciprocated with the darkest of scowls six months later, with not even a shadow of a smile. I'm just sayin'.)

Also, observe when she returns from the ladies. If she suddenly has more eyeliner, blusher and lip gloss on, you can be sure she's into you. Unless you were dumb enough to bring your cute friend along because you're too nervous to be alone with her. Then you should just leave your friend with the bill and the girl. (But order the most expensive dish first.)

The clearest sign is that she's happy to talk about you all night. In general, guys like talking about themselves to impress the lady. In reality, it's the most self-sacrificing thing a woman can do for you. Remember, we love a man who can just listen to us.

So if she's quietly paying attention whilst you blabber on about your NS days (which bores us to tears), your new car/computer gadget/bicycle parts/football team (which baffles us) or your hot ex-girlfriend (which worries us), that really shows her interest, affection and attraction.

And that means she's into you, dude. So go ahead and close the deal.
By Georgina Chang, georginac@mediacorp.com.sg, 04:46 AM Mar 12, 2011

The writer is the senior creative director of 987FM and Lush 99.5.


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