Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Marriage, No more for the poorer

TODAY, Tuesday February 9, 2010, VOICES, PAGE 26
Gilbert Goh

Modern marriages equate wedded bliss with financial stability

A FRIEND of mine recently separated from his wife of five years. The worst part of the separation was when she walked out last year while he was jobless.

She was not open either to counselling or to seeking any assistance to resolve their marital issues. It was a deep stab wound in my friend’s already fragile self esteem and confidence.

Although there were other issues that affected the marriage, it seemed that my friend’s inability to contribute financially for the duration of the marriage prompted her to walk away from the relationship.

PHOTO: http://www.haasestall.de/weisheiten/ehe.jpg

It is fortunate that the couple have no children, but the walkout has caused my friend plenty of heartache and dismay. He has not been able to function properly in the past few months with insomnia and depression his constant companions.

The only light he has seen at the end of the proverbial tunnel is that he has finally found a job after a year of being out of work.

I also heard of another middle-aged man who lost his family after being involved in a serious accident. After a long spell of therapy and hospitalisation, he happily went home only to find that his family had packed up and left the house.

He later received a lawyer’s letter from his wife seeking a separation. It is apparent that the wife saw him as a likely liability because, after the accident, he may no longer be economically active to provide for the family.

PHOTO: http://www.haasestall.de/weisheiten/ehe.jpg http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/APG/502-20761.jpg

I am sure that there are many other similar cases of wives walking out on the family when the man is found to be wanting in terms of providing for the family.

Many women may not want to go through a tough journey with husbands who may not be economically reliable in these very challenging times.

Recent statistics have shown that, in general, more women file for separation when the marriage runs aground.

Have local women grown soft and are no longer able to sustain relationships when facing a rocky patch?

These examples demonstrate how much modern marriages equate wedded bliss with financial stability. Whatever happened to the marriage vow “for poorer or for richer”?

As Singapore recovers from a deep recession, let us hope that we grow stronger and become more resilient. We may have lost our jobs, but let us not lose our families when we need them most.
By Gilbert Goh

PHOTO: http://dl10.glitter-graphics.net/pub/1803/1803990yle7t24eel.gif