Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Marriage, Many women marry for better or for worse

TODAY, Wednesday February 10, 2010, VOICES, PAGES 32
Letter from
Mrs David Chng Heng Chye

‘Many women marry for better or for worse’ - Wives who walk out
I was very indignant when I read “No more for poorer?” (Feb 9) especially the paragraph that stated “Many women may not want to go through a tough journey with husbands who may not be economically reliable in these very challenging times”.

Many women marry for better or for worse and are willing to stick by their spouses through thick or thin. That is why the number of couples who divorce remain relatively small to those who stay married.

On Monday night, the episode of Life Transformers featured a woman who is willing to stick by her husband although he is jobless. This woman has been working hard to support the extended family.

One of her young sons also has attention deficit disorder.

Personally, I am happily married. I love my hubby for his thoughtfulness, good nature and hands-on attitude.

Having our children (the third one is due in September) make our lives complete.

Before one gets married, it is important to open the eyes wide and to understand the other party well.

My husband and I went through a marriage preparation course together before marriage and this certainly paved the way.

I am sure I am not the only one who has found marriage very fulfilling. We must not be disheartened by a few extreme cases where wives walk out on their husbands when the men lose their financial reliability.
Letter from Mrs David Chng Heng Chye

Posted on
From Mark Wong
I don’t know if it is a general trend, but I too have noticed the same thing that Mr Gilbert Goh has pointed out.

In Singapore, at least, it appears that the ability to find and keep a wife very much depends on continued ability to contribute to the household income.

From Constance Chong
When a marriage fails, both parties are responsible. My husband was out of a job for two-and-a-half years. This ordeal strengthened our marriage with love, trust, acceptance, forgiveness and reconciliation all playing a part.

It was a difficult time, but we finally saw the light behind the darkness and learnt to cherish each other more. I encourage families in a similar situation to press on, knowing that the darkness will end.

From Col
The ladies go out to work and the last thing they want is to empty their pockets to help for the “short-term”. I speak from experience, having an ex-wife who walked out on me after just nine months of marriage.

Though we have never argued, but when I was retrenched from a high-paying job and was not working for almost a year, she thought I was not able to get that kind of salary in the future. I never ventured into any vices, but with her workmates egging her to quit, she decided to end the marriage.

In the work place, that has many ladies, they tend to discuss and gossip how their husbands would provide for them.

By Dr. Bill Maier Focus On The Family
Academy od Certified Counsellors
Transforming Lives From Within®

Conferences, Workshops, Training in Counselling, Pychology & Special Needs

6339 5411

How far is too far when married couples argue? Every couple has arguments and disagreements from time to time. It is a normal part of any relationship. But how do you know when your marriage has crossed over from normal conflict to serious problems?

According to Dr James Dobson, the difference between stable families and those in serious trouble is defined by what happens after a fight.

In a healthy relationship, confrontation ends in forgiveness. Couples come back together again, showing their love and respect for each other and then put the matter behind them.

But, in unstable marriages, conflict produces even greater pain and resentment. And the anger will usually hang on until the next fight. This causes bitterness to build and accumulate.

It is a devastating dynamic that will eventually kill the marriage. That is why a proverb tells us not to let the sun go down on our wrath.