Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Choose your love language

Source:
MY PAPER WEDNESDAY APRIL 13, 2010, PAGE A17, VIEWPOINTS
By
Geoff Tan



PHOTO: It is common for a married couple, once the romance of the wedding has worn off, to start wanting to change aspects of each other's behaviour or character.
http://8.mshcdn.com/wp-content/gallery/valentine039s-days/BeMineLite.jpg
http://mashable.com/2011/02/10/iphone-apps-valentines-day/



PHOTO: Geoff Tan
The writer is a senior vice-president of Singapore Press Holdings’ marketing division.

MY PAPER WEDNESDAY APRIL 13, 2010, PAGE A17, VIEWPOINTS


OVER the weekend, I attended a conference about relationships, which was an eye-opener.

One issue that got me thinking was the idea of change in a relationship.

It is common for a married couple, once the romance of the wedding has worn off, to start wanting to change aspects of each other's behaviour or character.


PHOTO: When you choose to speak your partner’s primary love language and there’s nothing but love in the air, your relationship can soar to new heights!
http://www.madlyinloveforeverforsingles.com/images/968.jpg
http://www.madlyinloveforeverforsingles.com/resources/learn-to-speak-your-partners-love-language/


However, it may be more appropriate to take a step back and consider: ''What's it like to be married to me?"

Author Gary Chapman, in his book The Five Love Languages, a New York Times bestseller, describes how couples have learnt to express their feelings and bring joy back into their marriages after learning about love languages - ways people express and interpret love.


PHOTO: Ah! Love!: The Five Languages of Love
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_71dLt_geLUs/TRpulXoIndI/AAAAAAAAAjg/smRr-KlYuVo/s1600/Five%252520Love%252520Langs.jpg
http://losetheexcuses.blogspot.com/2011/02/ah-love-five-languages-of-love.html



PHOTO: Learn, live and love Italian style!
http://www.speaknowitalian.com/images/msn.jpg?426
http://www.speaknowitalian.com/italian_courses_9.html



Each of us, he says, identify with one of the five love languages, which are categorised as follows:

Words of affirmation:
You like receiving compliments, such as ''You look beautiful tonight".


PHOTO: The comforting and assuring words of love and acceptance
http://www.customaffirmation.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/Custom-Affirmations-for-your-kids.jpg
http://www.endchildanger.com/provide-your-child-with-custom-affirmation



PHOTO: Words of Affirmation
This is when you say how nice your spouse looks, or how great the dinner tasted. These words will also build b your mate’s self image and confidence.
http://www.shwedarling.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/signed-i-love-you-hearts.gif
http://www.shwedarling.com/blog/2009/11/30/chapmans-five-emotional-love-languages/



PHOTO: Affirmations - Meditation is all you need
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4084/4974131300_1597187d2d_b.jpg
http://www.flickr.com/photos/chiaralily/4974131300/sizes/l/in/set-72157622655460828/




Quality time:
It is important that your spouse puts aside time and undivided attention for you.



PHOTO: Sharing quality time together can bring your relationship to new heights
http://theurbancowboy.net/images/love/time.jpg
http://theurbancowboy.net/2009/feeling-loved/



PHOTO: "Quality Time" (48"x24") ORIGINAL ACRYLIC on hardboard
http://www.artbyjimutsler.com/files/2085473/uploaded/Quality%20Time%20Upgrade%20Web%20Photo.jpg
http://www.artbyjimutsler.com/product/308A



PHOTO: Dasha - Quality Time ( Maxanter CD MAX 75969 )
( Artwork: Storm Vogel)

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-e5a0T6OJvSU/TXRuBct8hBI/AAAAAAAAbAk/dQ1-PBBcAME/s1600/qualitytime-cd.jpg
http://keepswinging.blogspot.com/2011/03/dasha-debuts-with-promising-album.html





Receiving gifts:
You value not just the physical present, but also the effort your spouse has put into acquiring it.


PHOTO: Five Love Languages: Receiving Gifts - The third love language is Receiving Gifts.
http://www.marriageandbeyond.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/images4.jpg
http://www.marriageandbeyond.com/2008/07/09/five-love-languages-receiving-gifts/attachment/1332/



PHOTO: ~ free ~ By AlicePopkorn☆
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3017/2971831831_7ebf8e6860_o.jpg
http://www.flickr.com/photos/alicepopkorn/2971831831/sizes/o/in/photostream/




Service:
You appreciate your spouse's efforts to help vacuum the floor, or make you a cup of coffee. This is about sharing responsibilities equally.


PHOTO: Appreciate your spouse's efforts to make you a cup of coffee
http://thecorporateentrepreneur.typepad.com/personal_service.JPG
http://www.thecorporateentrepreneur.com/21_establishing_credibility/



PHOTO: MASSAGE
http://images01.olx.com.sg/ui/13/16/46/1298222685_168841046_1-Pictures-of--SPORTS-MASSAGE-1ST-TRIAL-PROMOTION-48-AN-HOUR.jpg
http://www.olx.com.sg/sports-massage-1st-trial-promotion-48-an-hour-iid-168841046





Physical touch:
Thoughtful gestures, such as holding hands and hugging, are ways to show love and concern for you.


PHOTO: Physical touch is the most intimate of ways to express your feelings
http://theurbancowboy.net/images/love/touch.jpg
http://theurbancowboy.net/2009/feeling-loved/



Dr Chapman says that people are usually drawn to those who "speak" a different love language from their own. As a result, we may express our love using a love language that our partners may not be able to relate to.



PHOTO: Thoughtful gestures, such as holding hands and hugging, are ways to show love and concern for you. http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/66/l_3f937dcac6ea448ba1ff010fe6c887bc.jpg http://www.pokerbrasil.info/motherboard.php?q=zibu-love-symbol&page=3


Thus, he adds, it is important for us to "study our spouse" so that we can discover what his or her love language is, and express our love accordingly.
By Geoff Tan

The writer is a senior vice-president of Singapore Press Holdings' marketing division.


Memories that are hard to forget



PHOTO: Brittany Nicole Syfert
http://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f361/lisamchurch/Brittany/Brittanyrefelction.gif
http://brittany-syfert.last-memories.com/



PHOTO: The dead cannot cry out for justice; it is a duty of the living to do so for them.
Lois McMaster Bujold

http://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f361/lisamchurch/Brittany/Brittanywindow.gif
http://brittany-syfert.last-memories.com/



HELPDESK
我的字典: Wǒ de zì diǎn


Change: 改变 - gǎi biàn
Interpret: 诠释 - quán shì
Affirmation: 肯定 - kěn dìng
Spouse: 配偶 - pèi ǒu




PHOTO: LG Touch Event
http://www.krisabel.ctv.ca/image.axd?picture=\2008\3\lgtouch5.jpg
http://www.krisabel.ctv.ca/post/3607691.aspx



PHOTO: "Eve" poses with LG's latest
Adam and Eve, complete with boa constrictor, and announced that they were encouraging Canadians to give up their long, overdue wait for the elusive "apple" and to instead enjoy the forbidden pleasures of touching their cellphones with three new LG touchscreen handsets due to launch in the coming months.
http://www.krisabel.ctv.ca/image.axd?picture=\2008\3\lgtouch1.jpg
http://www.krisabel.ctv.ca/post/3607691.aspx



PHOTO: "Eve" poses with LG's latest
It was an event built on the theme of "touch" with belly dancers, snake charmers, and massage chairs.
http://www.krisabel.ctv.ca/image.axd?picture=\2008\3\lgtouch2.jpg
http://www.krisabel.ctv.ca/post/3607691.aspx



Reference