Interesting Green: The Singleton Guide to Valentine’s Day

From: inSing.com - Event
Source Website: http://events.insing.com/feature/the-singleton-guide-to-valentine-s-day/id-f22d3f00
By Zul Andra, entertainment writer for Time Out Singapore, The New Paper and inSing.com

PHOTO: You need to be with someone; it kind of works that way, ahead of Valentine’s Day.

http://staticc02.insing.com/images/81/77/0f/00/pc_600x450.jpg

Alone, depressed and had enough of your emotional relationship with things like video games and ice-cream?

It’s no fun being single unless you’re distilled malt.

Coupled with Singapore’s current all-time low fertility rate at 8.5 (that’s birth per 1,000 citizens mind you), there’s a demand for you to go out there and make some babies.

But before you start googling for awesome kid names, you need to be with someone; it kind of works that way.

Ahead of Valentine’s Day, here are some sure-fire tips to find and/or get on the official status with that partner of your choosing.

PHOTO: Dating in the Social Media Age
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Online to offline

As they say, there are many fishes in the sea, and with 8 billion users on Facebook and 300 million on Twitter, that’s a lot of aquatic, cold-blooded creatures. Look at your Facebook chat or Twitter thread, is there someone that you’ve been constantly having a conversation with? Now’s the time to make the move; lest you have to take a flight then don’t bother.

But before you poke them, spruce up your profile. First, publish your gender, it really helps trying to figure out if you are a male, female, or a robot. Then change your profile picture to something more personal that speak of your character and not a picture of your beloved pet, your vehicle, or your favourite botany as no one dates those.

Once that is done, get rid of any details of your previous relationships. Finally, put your best curriculum vitae (overview of a person's experience and other qualifications) forward. If you work in garbage, leave that out, unless it’s Garbage, the band.

Happiness from the bottom of a glass

Your advances online made you feel worse than Lindsey Lohan (whose Tweets rarely gets replied in the celebrity circle these day)? Poor thing. Tell you what; raise the bar of your game, at well, a bar. Brush off those who lack inebriated (make drunk; intoxicate) wisdom when they say you can’t find happiness after downing a keg. Just like there’s a place for everyone in this world, yours is at a watering hole. It all depends on what you are looking for.

PHOTO: Sexy bars for first dates
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Here’s a list of bars for both men and women:

Men looking for …
Sugar mommy:

They have expensive taste and very much into your boyish charms. They can be found in places like Drink Culture, Mink and sometimes at (for heaven sakes, no) Velvet Underground.

Barely legal:

Appearance may deceive. They look above 21 but underneath all that M.A.C. they haven’t got a clue what C.P.F stands for. These wild young things get drunk before 11pm (curfew, hello) usually at Zirca and The Butter Factory.

Bikini babes:

Tanjong Beach Club looks like it’s the production location of choice for a bikini commercial. Best to go before the chicks rub sunblock on themselves, because that’s where you’ll come in handy, you handyman you. If you’re looking for mature women or bikini aunties (if you’re into that), Coastes comes to mind.

Also on inSing: Sexy bars for first dates
(http://events.insing.com/feature/5-sexy-bars-for-first-dates/id-972d3f00)

Women looking for…
Top 10% local earners:

Though most of them might have their own in-house bar, or whose idea of a night out is at Puerto Rico, a few might be found at B28, Filter and the lounge area of Velvet Underground.

Bad boys:

They live by no rules and hard to catch. These rebellious stags are always having a pint at places like Home Club, Blu Jaz and St James Power Station.

Stray cats:

Aww! Really? Wild Oats at Emily Hill and the back alleys of Boat Quay has a whole petting zoo for you.

PHOTO: Looking for love in all the wrong places
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Find love in a hopeless place

Rihanna is right (yeah, right), that sometimes you can find love in a hopeless place. Whether expressing yourself through a painting, rocking it out like a madman at a music fest, or shooting a gun, chances are, this could be your last.

At Arteastiq’s Art Jam (#04-14/15 Mandarin Gallery, 333 Orchard Rd; 6235 8705, www.arteastiq.com), you get free painting materials and piping hot tea to work on your masterpiece. Chat up with other amateur artists and paint a nice picture of yourself in their minds.

Prefer to appreciate others’ artistic expression instead? Laneway Festival may be the ideal place where the soundtrack of your new found love can be found.

Also on inSing: Most romantic hotel stay
(http://events.insing.com/feature/most-romantic-hotel-stays/id-4d2d3f00)

PHOTO: Let dating agencies like, It’s Just Lunch , Lunch Actually and The Dating Loft find your perfect match.

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Or who knows, cupid might just be at Singapore Gun Club (National Shooting Centre, 990 Old Choa Chu Kang Rd; 6466 1575 www.singaporegunclub.com) to sort out you and your potential partner. Go for clay target practice with a shotgun ($65/person with 25 rounds) or fire on target boards with a pistol ($175/person with 100 rounds) with an instructor on hand to guide beginners.

Seek professional help

Perhaps the reason for your lack of progress is that your love life resides in a hermit kingdom thanks to your busy schedule. While you live vicariously through romantic novels and films -which you apparently have time for- let dating agencies like, It’s Just Lunch , Lunch Actually and The Dating Loft find your perfect match.

Memberships start from $1,000 depending on your profile and what you are looking for. Once the interviews and profiling are out of the way, the agencies will set up a lunch date or invite you to a private event where you’ll meet your potential partner. From there, you choose to continue seeing the person or whip out the “It’s not you, it’s me” card and head on for more solo nights with yourself.

Book yourself in

OK, so you rather read to prepare yourself for that big date. That’s fine, it starts with you anyway. “Codependency For Dummies” might pique your interest especially if you found out much later that that person of your dreams is suffering from an addiction or is basically dysfunctional. Ladies, are you looking to snag your own Edward of Jacob?

Also on inSing: V-Day on the cheap
(http://events.insing.com/feature/best-places-to-celebrate-v-day-for-free/id-962d3f00)

PHOTO: The hapless singleton, single and ready to mingle.
By Daily Mail Reporter, Last updated at 10:09 AM on 16th July 2009
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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1199882/Renee-Zellweger-pile-pounds-Bridget-Jones-returns-installment.html

Filled with pop psychology, “Twilight, True Love and You: Seven Secret Steps to Finding Your Edward or Jacob” will help you get out of the Twilight Zone and into the Twilight realm to find your ideal blood thirsty vampires and werewolves with abs.

On a more serious note, “Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love” exercises the use of emotionally focused therapy – developed some 20 years ago - to create a long, effective and productive relationship. But don’t just read, go out and take action. And don’t boast about your intellectualism, it’s really sad that you are sleeping with a self-help book.

By Zul Andra, entertainment writer for Time Out Singapore, The New Paper and inSing.com

Zul Andra is an entertainment writer currently writing for Time Out Singapore, The New Paper and inSing.com, he also maintains a column in Juice magazine. Contrary to popular beliefs, he is not a party animal. His lifelong ambition is to make the perfect omelette.