Friday, June 3, 2022

Reflection - Journeying with yourself - Guilt: True or False?

Source (book): "He Walks with Me - Devotions for Your Caregiving Journey with God", PART II "JOURNEYING WITH YOURSELF", Chapter 15 "Guilt: True or False?", Page 42.
Adapted from books by Shelly Beach: Ambushed By Grace: Help and Hope in the Caregiving Journey, and It Is Well with My Soul.


Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. - Romans 8:1-2
PHOTO: Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. - Romans 8:1-2

As caregivers, we feel responsible for making our loved ones happy, or ensuring that their needs are met - all the while balancing the demands of our own families, spiritual lives, jobs, and social interactions. Saddled with so many competing priorities and demands, we are likely to fail in some of our responsibilities.

The result? A deep sense of guilt for letting our loved ones down, or inadequacy for failing as a parent, child, or sibling. We feel guilty when we don't seem capable of giving our loved ones the quality of care they need; when we are accused of putting our personal needs first; when we have to make difficult decisions against the wishes of an aged parent; and when we end up neglecting our own spouses and children.

But what you are feeling may be false guilt - possibly the biggest struggle that caregivers face. What's the difference?

True guilt arises from wrongdoing. It comes with a sense of culpability (accountability) or responsibility for a wrong action. It comes from something we did (or didn't do). If we are truly responsible, then we must confess our sin (1 John 1:9) and seek restoration (Matthew 18:15-17). True guilt is God's way of signalling that something is wrong and needs to be made right.

False guilt, on the other hand, comes from expectations that are placed on us by others. They come from those we care for or from your families - or even ourselves. Often unrealistic, these expectations aren't based on moral choices of right or wrong but on the demand for us to live up to someone else's standards (or our own).

False guilt does not mean that we've done something wrong; rather, it signals that we're just attempting to measure up to someone else's experiences.

If you're plagued by guilt for not meeting other people's standards, remember this: God is not a perfectionist nor a taskmaster. He doesn't intend for us to do everything. Rather, He is a loving parent who came to take away our guilt and shame so that we could walk in freedom.

Remember also that what other people think isn't our responsibility. Ultimately, God is the only standard of perfection that we need to look at. Don't forget: He came not to judge us, but to free us from judgement.

In your battle with guilt, ask God to show you the truth behind what you are feeling. Consult Him in prayer and through His word, talk to someone you trust, and see what God reveals.

Have you disobeyed Him or sinned against your neighbour? Or are you being burdened by unfair expectations? Let the truth of God's Word free you from such false guilt, and ask Him for the courage to refuse it.

God is the only standard of perfection that we need to meet.
Picture posted by Luis M. Notari on 21 October 2021
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3btwBVSS6JlXa1SwMgVKIY_Bvgeh_TFuG33xsXlr-OI6EeyaZ5moyK0LRh0CInL1bryqwIMgZm3M2Ke5E8f0C1kGxXWwn259t3l0cpO7kjrvpi0B75GIAoInztesYkzX0O2-l2zc4GoYlrhi_54vYKpJ--ltSJMaEy-ehjxDFWKeo_k3DfbqmUPDs/s843/245951286_1299677650484408_2932938814488112766_n_1.jpg
https://scontent.fsin14-2.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/245951286_1299677650484408_2932938814488112766_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_p843x403&_nc_cat=108&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=8bfeb9&_nc_ohc=Tima_INBX2AAX_rZqbQ&_nc_ht=scontent.fsin14-2.fna&oh=00_AT9gOSQbaMP-0uiecwtSH4oueKNX2Hee5q2g3oI49XH3XA&oe=629D288B
https://www.facebook.com/sentalcarb/posts/2346660068966793
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2021/11/cops-tell-titillating-thai-street.html


Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. - Romans 8:1-2
 

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. - Romans 8:1-2
PHOTO: Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. - Romans 8:1-2As caregivers, we feel responsible for making our loved ones happy, or ensuring that their needs are met - all the while balancing the demands of our own families, spiritual lives, jobs, and social interactions. Saddled with so many competing priorities and demands, we are likely to fail in some of our responsibilities.

The result? A deep sense of guilt for letting our loved ones down, or inadequacy for failing as a parent, child, or sibling. We feel guilty when we don't seem capable of giving our loved ones the quality of care they need; when we are accused of putting our personal needs first; when we have to make difficult decisions against the wishes of an aged parent; and when we end up neglecting our own spouses and children.


A deep sense of guilt for letting our loved ones down, or inadequacy for failing as a parent, child, or sibling.
PHOTO: A deep sense of guilt for letting our loved ones down, or inadequacy for failing as a parent, child, or sibling. We feel guilty when we don't seem capable of giving our loved ones the quality of care they need; when we are accused of putting our personal needs first; when we have to make difficult decisions against the wishes of an aged parent; and when we end up neglecting our own spouses and children.
Picture posted by The New York Times
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3D45_WA7tG60gfyixN9txNOd-CS76BufK-s8ujotqCFK2r_GJkNL7s79XcgVGfFq2wBdVGBi56hTyOt83cedo3rSqpN4ISIJnoqA4vEYRxxv4au5eppjSiJINZ_-yMHiCs-ZI85DK5f3i1NVdAAg77ggHTIRuEKWG4XoV7e4RVaqQWk7knCAwDJN1/s1750/22well-how-to-help-after-loss-superJumbo.jpg
https://static01.nyt.com/images/2021/12/22/well/22well-how-to-help-after-loss/22well-how-to-help-after-loss-superJumbo.jpg
https://www.nytimes.com/2022/01/07/well/live/sudden-death-loss.html
 

But what you are feeling may be false guilt - possibly the biggest struggle that caregivers face. What's the difference?

True guilt arises from wrongdoing. It comes with a sense of culpability (accountability) or responsibility for a wrong action. It comes from something we did (or didn't do). If we are truly responsible, then we must confess our sin (1 John 1:9) and seek restoration (Matthew 18:15-17). True guilt is God's way of signalling that something is wrong and needs to be made right.


True guilt arises from wrongdoing.
PHOTO: True guilt arises from wrongdoing. It comes with a sense of culpability (accountability) or responsibility for a wrong action. It comes from something we did (or didn't do). If we are truly responsible, then we must confess our sin (1 John 1:9) and seek restoration (Matthew 18:15-17). True guilt is God's way of signalling that something is wrong and needs to be made right.
Picture posted by GregW on 04 June 2020
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVAzdr9v6L54SURLkumE6mQzsbX85N7XFU29swM7xxiLTlj7iWz2yUi8DD1LW_sgYJZe1ED4AwSDB0Zcd0ZFWEfK0K5LolSYXy112jTEEQReQhsljnYNBWxIWSmnL7KmmAqoqBezHA-mED6vTUZGU0xSBwPwnHrqOnEsTWXnMd8PbEKb3R_WwFSlqr/s1541/women-embracing.webp
https://i0.wp.com/questpsychologyservices.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/women-embracing.jpg?fit=1541%2C925&ssl=1
https://questpsychologyservices.co.uk/supporting-a-loved-one-through-trauma/
 

False guilt, on the other hand, comes from expectations that are placed on us by others. They come from those we care for or from your families - or even ourselves. Often unrealistic, these expectations aren't based on moral choices of right or wrong but on the demand for us to live up to someone else's standards (or our own).

False guilt does not mean that we've done something wrong; rather, it signals that we're just attempting to measure up to someone else's experiences.
 

False guilt comes from expectations that are placed on us by others.
PHOTO: False guilt comes from expectations that are placed on us by others. They come from those we care for or from your families - or even ourselves. Often unrealistic, these expectations aren't based on moral choices of right or wrong but on the demand for us to live up to someone else's standards (or our own).
Picture posted by TheWhiteLight. Michael White on 02 November 2006 - Guilt Wallpaper
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjir3XWJfMwnP6UHAdy1mfETlg3yZfhvTjZ5kwL3ZizxiEFpu4iB9lUBf_7TLdi0ZMcdbuA53R_onctk-OAJjx2gvvV3J5K3wF2b1AcsXo1zdKtf07LwJ34tqnY6Dd04ZvYL3sGBEYTUyg3ldESUSjlG7672_cO1O9ZcewnJUZ5PWea2SO41cojUcxL/s1680/dp7kwt-98a1941b-64f9-49a9-a8ad-8c027dd0327b.jpg
https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/4e48577b-d0ad-434a-ba2c-fec3abc00c48/dp7kwt-98a1941b-64f9-49a9-a8ad-8c027dd0327b.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7InBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcLzRlNDg1NzdiLWQwYWQtNDM0YS1iYTJjLWZlYzNhYmMwMGM0OFwvZHA3a3d0LTk4YTE5NDFiLTY0ZjktNDlhOS1hOGFkLThjMDI3ZGQwMzI3Yi5qcGcifV1dLCJhdWQiOlsidXJuOnNlcnZpY2U6ZmlsZS5kb3dubG9hZCJdfQ.dDOra3wiM3EVGojLbzDiw0KwVviCoRpbJDHziteZOCQ
https://www.deviantart.com/thewhitelight/art/Guilt-Wallpaper-42344093
 

If you're plagued by guilt for not meeting other people's standards, remember this: God is not a perfectionist nor a taskmaster. He doesn't intend for us to do everything. Rather, He is a loving parent who came to take away our guilt and shame so that we could walk in freedom.

Remember also that what other people think isn't our responsibility. Ultimately, God is the only standard of perfection that we need to look at. Don't forget: He came not to judge us, but to free us from judgement.


If you're plagued by guilt for not meeting other people's standards, remember this: God is not a perfectionist nor a taskmaster.
PHOTO: If you're plagued by guilt for not meeting other people's standards, remember this: God is not a perfectionist nor a taskmaster. He doesn't intend for us to do everything. Rather, He is a loving parent who came to take away our guilt and shame so that we could walk in freedom.
Remember also that what other people think isn't our responsibility. Ultimately, God is the only standard of perfection that we need to look at. Don't forget: He came not to judge us, but to free us from judgement.
Picture posted by iStock
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDft6yAN1lKA3o3SHIaus7xREbGLKovUbPP_york4Z-XPkMnns9jB9pmgX91la_gzPwgIWxlq4MtSW9vP8OFiFgMGEIM6sjerYbBllP_Rtl7EJg2KCzLuLMSxgNRIEfgJiEI0MyI9JQVMNtyAJPk06OUUqTDztORxv046XseKNhk9bpirSsbhOpLsc/s612/istockphoto-1124732864-612x612.jpg
https://media.istockphoto.com/photos/woman-having-stress-about-weight-loss-diet-or-gaining-weight-eating-picture-id1124732864?k=20&m=1124732864&s=612x612&w=0&h=41OGHA-32EOxzbUjPQlCTV_-I1wgUj8TbEizYiR_I8g=
https://www.istockphoto.com/photo/woman-having-stress-about-weight-loss-diet-or-gaining-weight-eating-disorder-gm1124732864-295379619
 

In your battle with guilt, ask God to show you the truth behind what you are feeling. Consult Him in prayer and through His word, talk to someone you trust, and see what God reveals.

Have you disobeyed Him or sinned against your neighbour? Or are you being burdened by unfair expectations? Let the truth of God's Word free you from such false guilt, and ask Him for the courage to refuse it.


In your battle with guilt, ask God to show you the truth behind what you are feeling.
PHOTO: In your battle with guilt, ask God to show you the truth behind what you are feeling. Consult Him in prayer and through His word, talk to someone you trust, and see what God reveals.
Picture posted by Pixels.com on 14 September 2011 - Dove's Eyes poster by Ilse Kleyn
PHOTO: "Dear Lord, You know the guilt I sometimes feel as a caregiver, and my fear that I have not done enough to care for those I love. Show me whether this guilt is ture or false. May Your Holy Spirit convict me if I have sinned against You, and free me if I have been burdened by the weight of expectations that You have not placed on me.

Through Lord Jesus Christ we pray. Amen!"
Picture posted by FCP Casa Pintada@FCPCasaPintada on 08 April 2022 at 06:16 pm - es mas repugnante un mercenario o un buen samaritano? (a mercenary or a good samaritan is more disgusting?)
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM66gfjPHOeqth-ixZi_Av96PL8QdvRSjZdnEDxJ1rXvAhgyu5U22IjszjQkulh-yADxpyrP_QsaWgMMuvd0_koMCWTQ8rxlxRBcknciPHCJSsahcqZfBCLPMxKBBWhQYGP55yA4ejnNFKXS8cczBVbVrP57T03A8njR9Zyfwm8cQ-F7zNydf777Nn/s2251/FP0FlmUWYAAhZhg_1.jpg
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FP0FlmUWYAAhZhg?format=jpg&name=4096x4096
https://mobile.twitter.com/FCPCasaPintada/status/1512373701307777027

Reflection - Journeying with yourself - Guilt - True or False
Source (book): "He Walks with Me - Devotions for Your Caregiving Journey with God", PART II "JOURNEYING WITH YOURSELF", Chapter 15 "Guilt: True or False?", Page 42.
Adapted from books by Shelly Beach: Ambushed By Grace: Help and Hope in the Caregiving Journey, and It Is Well with My Soul.

"Faithful to the end", A Preacher's Exposition of 2 Timothy, @ 2014 by Robert M. Solomon

'Faithful to the end', A Preacher's Exposition of 2 Timothy, @ 2014 by Robert M. Solomon<br>
Reflection - Faithful to the end (Links)
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2017/06/reflection-faithful-to-end-links.html


"Finding rest for the soul" Responding to Jesus' Invitation in Matthew 11:28-29, © 2016 by Robert M. Solomon

Reflection - Finding rest for the soul (Links)
Reflection - Finding rest for the soul (Links)
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2018/10/reflection-finding-rest-for-soul-links.html


"God in Pursuit" Lessons from the Book of Jonah, © 2016 by Robert M. Solomon

'Reflection - God in Pursuit (Links) - PART I-III, posted on Saturday, 10 August 2019
Reflection - God in Pursuit (Links) - PART I-III, posted on Saturday, 10 August 2019
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2019/08/reflection-god-in-pursuit-links-part-i.html


"God in Pursuit" Lessons from the Book of Jonah, © 2016 by Robert M. Solomon

'Reflection - God in Pursuit (Links) - PART IV, posted on Saturday, 10 August 2019
Reflection - God in Pursuit (Links) - PART IV, posted on Saturday, 10 August 2019
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2019/08/reflection-god-in-pursuit-links-part-iv.html 


"Songs of Christmas", The Stories and Significance of 20 Well-Loved Carols, © 2018 by Robert M. Solomon

Reflection - Songs of Christmas (Links), posted on Friday, 24 April 2020
Reflection - Songs of Christmas (Links), posted on Friday, 24 April 2020
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2020/04/reflection-songs-of-christmas-links.html
 

"Growing Old Gracefully", Following Jesus to the End, © 2019 by Robert M. Solomon

Reflection - Growing Old Gracefully, Part I - III (Links), posted on Wednesday, 09 December 2020
Reflection - Growing Old Gracefully, Part I - III (Links), posted on Wednesday, 09 December 2020
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2020/12/reflection-growing-old-gracefully-part.html
 

Reflection - Growing Old Gracefully, Part IV - V (Links), posted on Thursday, 22 April 2021
Reflection - Growing Old Gracefully, Part IV - V (Links), posted on Thursday, 22 April 2021
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2020/12/reflection-growing-old-gracefully-part_9.html
 

"Teach Us to Number Our Days", © 2008 by David Roper

Reflection - Number Our Days, Chapter 1 - 40 (Links), posted on Tuesday, 16 November 2021
Reflection - Number Our Days, Chapter 1 - 40 (Links), posted on Tuesday, 16 November 2021
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2021/11/reflection-number-our-days-chapter-1-40.html
 
 
Reflection - Number Our Days, Chapter 41 - 64 (Links), posted on Wednesday, 16 March 2022
Reflection - Number Our Days, Chapter 41 - 64 (Links), posted on Wednesday, 16 March 2022
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2022/03/reflection-number-our-days-chapter-41.html



Reference
[1] From "He Walks with Me - Devotions for Your Caregiving Journey with God", Copyright © 2018 by Our Daily Bread Ministries, PART II "JOURNEYING WITH YOURSELF", Chapter 15 "Guilt: True or False?", Page 42-43.
 

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