Sunday, May 29, 2022

Reflection - Journeying with yourself - Dealing with resentment

Source (book): "He Walks with Me - Devotions for Your Caregiving Journey with God", PART II "JOURNEYING WITH YOURSELF", Chapter 14 "Dealing with resentment", Page 40.
Adapted from books by Shelly Beach: Ambushed By Grace: Help and Hope in the Caregiving Journey, and It Is Well with My Soul.


Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his step . . . When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. - 1 Peter 2:21-23
PHOTO: Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his step . . . When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. - 1 Peter 2:21-23

Resentment can arise when we feel that we're not getting a good deal in life. But why do we often expect more from life - and from God?

The reality is, all of us struggle with personal motives, desires, and goals. We may want to achieve a lifelong dream, be recognised, or be treated in a certain way. Many of these motives are not wrong in themselves, but we may not even be aware of them until they are exposed and tested by the stress of caregiving.

When the duty and burden of caring for others make it hard for us to achieve these personal desires and goals, a victim mindset can result. Victims blame other people for their plight and feel that they deserve better. Such a mentality fuels resentment and can lead to a deep-seated bitterness that ultimately affects our faith and walk with God.

How can you free yourself from this mentality?

Learn to see your heart as God does. Our brokenness was the starting place for the Holy Spirit to begin the work of transformation. Learn to see life from a new perspective - a biblical one. For example, Scripture teaches us to take responsibility for our lives and stop blaming God and others for family problems, bumpy friendships, and job hassles (see James 1:13-19).

Trust the Bible on what it says about you. Don't hang your identity on something as unpredictable as other people's opinions or your own works. God accepted us as we are, so we don't have to prove anything.

Learn to thank God. Thank God for accepting you as you are, warts and all; for redeeming you so that He can transform you to be like His Son; and for extending boundless grace to you. Gratitude helps to switch our focus from ourselves to others. It frees us to serve, and not to prove ourselves or earn the approval of others or God.

Learn to give grace. In moments of irritation or anger, choose to make a place for grace. When a parent blames you for not doing more or a sibling slips out of an agreement to care for mum, choose kind words - or simply smile, stay silent, and lift up a prayer to God. Like Jesus, you can lay down your right to retaliate and refute.

We can try to hide our resentment behind good works and a patient face; we can begin to justify our bitterness and blame everyone else for our woes; and we can seek to stand in the centre of the universe and scream, "What about me?!"

Or, we can lay down our rights as the foot of the cross, remembering that the call to caregiving is a call to a divine appointment with God - an appointment that will ultimately transform us and redeem others.

Resentful? Turn your eyes from self to God.
 

Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his step . . . When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. - 1 Peter 2:21-23


Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his step . . . When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. - 1 Peter 2:21-23
PHOTO: Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his step . . . When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. - 1 Peter 2:21-23
Picture posted by vn2k07 on 18 April 2018
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcxV7HWIILPpCm5y-Il9iqOzHTC_vm1ImTCICv2fWsswCx1dZ2NYCDEIGurtnKmIk8MJ-FXztUDt2Y9r7zWlu7Xf8jcUVe4xuqtYau2DUrStfbK7rkvqaq6ziqkCfvFono2FjFHSEcx37BcINaxfgE6dxsfdt6byZG0CzR6kH7a6X43yOl8IsKAVth/s720/120peter202-2120-20child20in20shadow20of20cross.jpg
https://jvn2k07.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/120peter202-2120-20child20in20shadow20of20cross.jpg
https://jvn2k07.wordpress.com/2018/04/18/savior-and-example-1-peter-221-2/


Resentment can arise when we feel that we're not getting a good deal in life. But why do we often expect more from life - and from God?

The reality is, all of us struggle with personal motives, desires, and goals. We may want to achieve a lifelong dream, be recognised, or be treated in a certain way. Many of these motives are not wrong in themselves, but we may not even be aware of them until they are exposed and tested by the stress of caregiving.


Resentment can arise when we feel that we're not getting a good deal in life.
PHOTO: Resentment can arise when we feel that we're not getting a good deal in life. All of us struggle with personal motives, desires, and goals.  We may want to achieve a lifelong dream, be recognised, or be treated in a certain way. But we may not even be aware of them until they are exposed and tested by the stress of caregiving.
Picture posted by SadistDaddy
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2W9kTxx65L_dY2GhRgA_s0gQFdnLXoShBEI3rdMabH1d7W3yr6qSCK-oSHTVIkTE3r5cQ7l7UR2hfILWzqKKj3QanX0Tu5ScDM9Vh1RrIRaaTIj0S9_z6InP3cwaaK1EWWOmjYQ0O6jn9z1PR2yTz0OYlWnwMCPb5PB2Imtel7r2n5oC-nP8Pew6d/s498/demonic-anger.gif
https://c.tenor.com/nApIA_pA3BgAAAAC/demonic-anger.gif
https://tenor.com/view/demonic-anger-hatred-gif-15391077


When the duty and burden of caring for others make it hard for us to achieve these personal desires and goals, a victim mindset can result. Victims blame other people for their plight and feel that they deserve better. Such a mentality fuels resentment and can lead to a deep-seated bitterness that ultimately affects our faith and walk with God.


When the duty and burden of caring for others make it hard for us to achieve these personal desires and goals, a victim mindset can result.
PHOTO: When the duty and burden of caring for others make it hard for us to achieve these personal desires and goals, a victim mindset can result. Victims blame other people for their plight and feel that they deserve better. Such a mentality fuels resentment and can lead to a deep-seated bitterness that ultimately affects our faith and walk with God.
Picture posted by clinicamts
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzwEqU00ZdeO_vIT9TUk8eOPATSnlbadu6namifcljycxKBc8Ht9WCjlRL_DESHRH0KspOOKsSKJr-sgUYYqVJ9uXov0nhEZZKcqoUnVV2lzJv143NAe_iPrcXRV8I6SKqO-iju6HzMikIIJH9cu6XnbiDYxAvwu6Glz57oIiyCV8KasEtjVzS2sLs/s711/Dolor-cr%C3%B3nico-y-fisioterapia-1.9_1.jpg
https://www.clinicamts.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/Dolor-cr%C3%B3nico-y-fisioterapia-1.9.jpg
https://www.clinicamts.com/fisioterapia-dolor-cronico-badajoz/


How can you free yourself from this mentality?

Learn to see your heart as God does. Our brokenness was the starting place for the Holy Spirit to begin the work of transformation. Learn to see life from a new perspective - a biblical one. For example, Scripture teaches us to take responsibility for our lives and stop blaming God and others for family problems, bumpy friendships, and job hassles (see James 1:13-19).


Learn to see your heart as God does.
PHOTO: Learn to see your heart as God does.
Our brokenness was the starting place for the Holy Spirit to begin the work of transformation. Learn to see life from a new perspective - a biblical one. For example, Scripture teaches us to take responsibility for our lives and stop blaming God and others for family problems, bumpy friendships, and job hassles (see James 1:13-19).
Picture posted by Christiansingles on 12 December 2021
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj70Izzqsjyn9WAA8N1lxWmUfPOyaXDzl7na4XQYsuWKwILCmaHlQfdS_Ap9bwk4yh2Ao7iBfQd8LjDX55Na0JzPIGxo8xwO2XjQj14BClv2UvokauriR4qUagLEpuOO9bJ_-6MfQUKIlWyK0M8VbpM4z26EeaV4qve3lYvSmsgLa9rY0MfSo4sKs8B/s1365/265073039_1356622771450608_8006238528589384444_n.jpg
https://scontent.fsin15-2.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/265073039_1356622771450608_8006238528589384444_n.jpg?stp=cp0_dst-jpg_e15_fr_q65&_nc_cat=103&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=8024bb&efg=eyJpIjoidCJ9&_nc_ohc=V_x05Q2-pxwAX8xcShi&_nc_ht=scontent.fsin15-2.fna&oh=00_AT9A0EL4Z2s_2njPXcJkuGwP7WxhbZkpPmfWb1rAqUA53w&oe=6297F3F1
https://m.facebook.com/christiansingles.sg/photos/a.244053432707553/1357019441410941/?type=3&source=48


Trust the Bible on what it says about you. Don't hang your identity on something as unpredictable as other people's opinions or your own works. God accepted us as we are, so we don't have to prove anything.


Trust the Bible on what it says about you.
PHOTO: Trust the Bible on what it says about you.
Don't hang your identity on something as unpredictable as other people's opinions or your own works. God accepted us as we are, so we don't have to prove anything.
Picture posted by Goldtech Care
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJvpOVRP-qSEP3O9UvpnZjB5Fl1XFwhaHGk1OlsM5yylBeSg-wK067ujm9TJruCurFzY4Nvxxt7rQHJvuhH208dX5KQ8HCVUPDUVN9jGdyEc0HdyGjMKFoAw_JFbEFss12n7aud1-VDrk7bPx-1uDfTHtBEQowqYAQbdnuEqTF_1X7NNVDhlNXMx5s/s2500/pexels-andrea-piacquadio-3791664-1.jpg
https://goldtechcare.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/pexels-andrea-piacquadio-3791664-1.jpg
https://goldtechcare.co.uk/respite-care-service/


Learn to thank God. Thank God for accepting you as you are, warts and all; for redeeming you so that He can transform you to be like His Son; and for extending boundless grace to you. Gratitude helps to switch our focus from ourselves to others. It frees us to serve, and not to prove ourselves or earn the approval of others or God.


Learn to thank God.
PHOTO: Learn to thank God.
Thank God for accepting you as you are, warts and all; for redeeming you so that He can transform you to be like His Son; and for extending boundless grace to you. Gratitude helps to switch our focus from ourselves to others. It frees us to serve, and not to prove ourselves or earn the approval of others or God.
Picture posted by Shutterstock
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiea9P-zcKqifHiu8DFpXtZKzlM_ZURU9uYGoAqGgWZGTkBBJDpP8to8kG0wE_fxgrrmkQfF9u6yX0Hd02bNo2P2THAa_lno_x1qYcmsm2jw-CdIIL18hC5IepQk_Y-IlfUBkicDbrLvM7pSLo98MXewbdfkFWaMtgJodboby0H-TTRqN1VklZdxiO/s1500/277012139_1.png
https://image.shutterstock.com/shutterstock/photos/277012139/display_1500/stock-photo-beautiful-girl-is-dancing-in-the-field-of-yellow-flowers-is-wearing-flying-white-wedding-dress-277012139.jpg
https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/beautiful-girl-dancing-field-yellow-flowers-277012139


Learn to give grace. In moments of irritation or anger, choose to make a place for grace. When a parent blames you for not doing more or a sibling slips out of an agreement to care for mum, choose kind words - or simply smile, stay silent, and lift up a prayer to God. Like Jesus, you can lay down your right to retaliate and refute.


Learn to give grace.
PHOTO: Learn to give grace.
In moments of irritation or anger, choose to make a place for grace. When a parent blames you for not doing more or a sibling slips out of an agreement to care for mum, choose kind words - or simply smile, stay silent, and lift up a prayer to God. Like Jesus, you can lay down your right to retaliate and refute.
Picture posted by Christiansingles on 21 April 2018
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFoYwg5AOxuXIOkgBMFl1mfT-wcsGQQCDGdt_i0-8qeISXjz4ZJ19tt_m-TGKfzUl55R9JaZ1Ly6_1fD2AStDY1ROjv9vhTYzOYinTq7YnQKtG2DbPOxgwpHJT6csEAh-KB3S2INec5LQbH3sTpbTxKGbJfpgdumugOG3f9nsLI6WWjj84ClX2BtJ4/s2048/31081508_434294427016785_224253913405063168_n.jpg
https://scontent.fsin15-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.6435-9/31081508_434294427016785_224253913405063168_n.jpg?stp=cp0_dst-jpg_e15_fr_q65&_nc_cat=111&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=dd9801&efg=eyJpIjoidCJ9&_nc_ohc=WZZqlQNZ4MYAX9nIpv0&_nc_ht=scontent.fsin15-1.fna&oh=00_AT-mw1yyMewUlVoEHiSDNoYrhbAeuLWUFNiM7sAEak13Dw&oe=62B7B785
https://m.facebook.com/christiansingles.sg/photos/a.206654329780797/434294423683452/?type=3&source=44&ref=page_internal


We can try to hide our resentment behind good works and a patient face; we can begin to justify our bitterness and blame everyone else for our woes; and we can seek to stand in the centre of the universe and scream, "What about me?!"


We can try to hide our resentment behind good works and a patient face
PHOTO: We can try to hide our resentment behind good works and a patient face; we can begin to justify our bitterness and blame everyone else for our woes; and we can seek to stand in the centre of the universe and scream, "What about me?!"
Picture posted by Mary on 15 February 2018
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoqqt1Jb1QfgfjE59MBQbYIHF4Ll8kerjl8idetnpG-fgF_dwJEm6w17Ql087Yv0HZxMlZWIPpBOpvJRKhAP1y54jDs-v9hjdHUkJIRJeY6mu_T9Um3t7nY33wi1Eo-O9nNsx2ZpMyUUuSTX0KoLRUIGORqHKzwGj5mCesMkXK_RxdDInz8h0dcf9X/s720/anger-18658_960_7201.png
https://i0.wp.com/www.beautycookskisses.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/anger-18658_960_7201.jpg?w=480&ssl=1
https://www.beautycookskisses.com/2018/02/why-is-world-so-full-of-anger-and.html


Or, we can lay down our rights as the foot of the cross, remembering that the call to caregiving is a call to a divine appointment with God - an appointment that will ultimately transform us and redeem others.


We can lay down our rights as the foot of the cross, remembering that the call to caregiving is a call to a divine appointment with God - an appointment that will ultimately transform us and redeem others.
PHOTO: We can lay down our rights as the foot of the cross, remembering that the call to caregiving is a call to a divine appointment with God - an appointment that will ultimately transform us and redeem others.
Picture posted by Moon@r0ckyshine on 12 October 2020 - IU in Moon Lovers
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQ6tLyzU74ZPN_1A_05Fb2k93jNQdXGpiaBkZ_yXpsNcrrcptkYS84-RmtZCfiIYgOB6zYdL4trRuu8NYinXhloohVQJFjvhhaC72CReLd2IyD01KKT--7pqAtbdQl7-HmwmA5l3PnTg2oayAoEuPi9Vy7uO1wiq6RqDraS_48UzzsuOptUuoeDiA1/s2048/EkFT9_ZWoAM3_Hx.jpg
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EkFT9_ZWoAM3_Hx?format=jpg&name=large
https://twitter.com/r0ckyshine/status/1315424900203589635/photo/3


Resentful? Turn your eyes from self to God.


Resentful? Turn your eyes from self to God.
Reflection - Journeying with yourself - Dealing with resentment
Source (book): "He Walks with Me - Devotions for Your Caregiving Journey with God", PART II "JOURNEYING WITH YOURSELF", Chapter 14 "Dealing with resentment", Page 40.
Adapted from books by Shelly Beach: Ambushed By Grace: Help and Hope in the Caregiving Journey, and It Is Well with My Soul.


Other Books (Links)

"Faithful to the end", A Preacher's Exposition of 2 Timothy, @ 2014 by Robert M. Solomon

'Faithful to the end', A Preacher's Exposition of 2 Timothy, @ 2014 by Robert M. Solomon<br>
Reflection - Faithful to the end (Links)
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2017/06/reflection-faithful-to-end-links.html


"Finding rest for the soul" Responding to Jesus' Invitation in Matthew 11:28-29, © 2016 by Robert M. Solomon

Reflection - Finding rest for the soul (Links)
Reflection - Finding rest for the soul (Links)
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2018/10/reflection-finding-rest-for-soul-links.html


"God in Pursuit" Lessons from the Book of Jonah, © 2016 by Robert M. Solomon

'Reflection - God in Pursuit (Links) - PART I-III, posted on Saturday, 10 August 2019
Reflection - God in Pursuit (Links) - PART I-III, posted on Saturday, 10 August 2019
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2019/08/reflection-god-in-pursuit-links-part-i.html


"God in Pursuit" Lessons from the Book of Jonah, © 2016 by Robert M. Solomon

'Reflection - God in Pursuit (Links) - PART IV, posted on Saturday, 10 August 2019
Reflection - God in Pursuit (Links) - PART IV, posted on Saturday, 10 August 2019
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2019/08/reflection-god-in-pursuit-links-part-iv.html 


"Songs of Christmas", The Stories and Significance of 20 Well-Loved Carols, © 2018 by Robert M. Solomon

Reflection - Songs of Christmas (Links), posted on Friday, 24 April 2020
Reflection - Songs of Christmas (Links), posted on Friday, 24 April 2020
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2020/04/reflection-songs-of-christmas-links.html
 

"Growing Old Gracefully", Following Jesus to the End, © 2019 by Robert M. Solomon

Reflection - Growing Old Gracefully, Part I - III (Links), posted on Wednesday, 09 December 2020
Reflection - Growing Old Gracefully, Part I - III (Links), posted on Wednesday, 09 December 2020
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2020/12/reflection-growing-old-gracefully-part.html
 

Reflection - Growing Old Gracefully, Part IV - V (Links), posted on Thursday, 22 April 2021
Reflection - Growing Old Gracefully, Part IV - V (Links), posted on Thursday, 22 April 2021
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2020/12/reflection-growing-old-gracefully-part_9.html
 

"Teach Us to Number Our Days", © 2008 by David Roper

Reflection - Number Our Days, Chapter 1 - 40 (Links), posted on Tuesday, 16 November 2021
Reflection - Number Our Days, Chapter 1 - 40 (Links), posted on Tuesday, 16 November 2021
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2021/11/reflection-number-our-days-chapter-1-40.html
 
 
Reflection - Number Our Days, Chapter 41 - 64 (Links), posted on Wednesday, 16 March 2022
Reflection - Number Our Days, Chapter 41 - 64 (Links), posted on Wednesday, 16 March 2022
https://veryfatoldman.blogspot.com/2022/03/reflection-number-our-days-chapter-41.html



Reference
[1] From "He Walks with Me - Devotions for Your Caregiving Journey with God", Copyright © 2018 by Our Daily Bread Ministries, PART II "JOURNEYING WITH YOURSELF", Chapter 14 "Dealing with resentment", Page 40-41.


Links


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