Thursday, March 16, 2017

Reflection - Mother’s Day without her…

Source Website: https://surrenderedobedience.com/2016/05/05/mothers-day-without-her/
By surrenderedobedience on 5 May 2016


Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
PHOTO: "Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." (Psalm 23:4)
Walking through those years since He opened my eyes has taught me many things. When pain comes, I can let my arms fall by my side. I don’t have to tense up and pull up my shoulders ( like I used to do ALL THE TIME ). I don’t have to build walls to protect me, because, that’s what He does. He keeps me safe, walks with me, and my loved ones, through the valleys. He heals our pain, carries us when necessary and leads us back into the light.
Although saddened at the time acknowledging that when that day would come, when our loved ones would pass from here to being with Jesus, that this was when they would finally be happy again.
As could be expected, striving for wealth and riches did not bring the happiness it promised. The price that had to be paid for all this was far too high. The emptiness was staring at us in the face. Heartbreak and sickness had taken away all the illusions.
Even in the valley of the shadow of death He is there. For there to be a shadow, there has to be a light. And for that I am eternally grateful.
Picture posted by Psalms About Death Quotes
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II’s Thursday, just two weeks and one day since my mother passed away… 3 days before our first Mother’s Day without her.. 12 days before her birthday, the first one without her..

I had booked a flight to spend this birthday with her… knowing it would be the last one to celebrate here on this earth..

But our Father in Heaven had other plans.. His plans were to take her home with Him before those significant days for us…

I have spent the last day and this morning doing what I do when I am sad.. listening to songs, looking at pictures and allowing the pain to come to the surface..

I am thankful I have the time to do this now.. I am thankful for YouTube where I can find the music my parents listened to when we were kids.. I am thankful for all the pictures I have on my computer, on my phone..


I hide my tears when I say your name, but the pain in my heart is still the same. Although I smile and seem carefree, there is no one who misses you  . . . . more than me!
PHOTO: "I hide my tears when I say your name, but the pain in my heart is still the same. Although I smile and seem carefree, there is no one who misses you  . . . . more than me!"
Our Father in Heaven had His plans.. One of His plans was to take her home with Him before those significant days for us… But this was when she would finally be happy again..
Picture posted by Cella Fontenot on Pinterest - To all who know this pain.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCm49nzoR-jxLKPoru4y7kxiqMXJDgC6XwVsNLwrwxyz4-BReZOWMJpLWunXvTmonQRjEOJSlqoKo25e29kU4uOE5GN9QSP_xBR1Tc3AigbCKdoKhyYI1g0f7mFaqkcHv8DfUIEQQREyFC/s1600/e6d92767d5c4c19870ef0e7944b1daf7.jpg
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Listening to the songs by Alexandra, a German singer both my parents loved, .. beautiful voice, sad, very depressing songs, she ended up taking her own life at a very young age..  and I was thinking… this generation of children, born during the  2nd World War, having lived through some of the horrors of all this, having had to rush to the basement in the middle of the night, when their cities were bombed, fearing for their lives at such a young age.. such loss all around them …

I think there was a deep sadness in the land … faith had been eliminated, the church, bowing to Hitler during the Third Reich had reduced it to something that was just a tradition, meaning nothing..

Hope eventually came through the will to rebuild, to achieve and to enjoy life again, I think materialism took over in a huge way.. I think my parents were your typical “Nachkrieg’s” (a Deutsch word, meaning postwar in english) couple … getting married very young, having 3 children and working hard, achieving , the pleasures of what money could buy their main focus…..


This generation of children, born during the 2nd World War, having lived through some of the horrors of all this, having had to rush to the basement in the middle of the night, when their cities were bombed, fearing for their lives at such a young age.
PHOTO: This generation of children, born during the 2nd World War, having lived through some of the horrors of all this, having had to rush to the basement in the middle of the night, when their cities were bombed, fearing for their lives at such a young age. Such loss all around them.
Picture posted by Dakota Ryder, saved from s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com - Your life has been many beautiful chapters. I will always grieve that it was a short story - MM
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https://www.pinterest.com/pin/505177283186888697/


Thinking about my mother’s illness about a year ago I was saddened at the time acknowledging that when that day would come, when she would pass from here to being with Jesus, that this was when she would finally be happy again..

As could be expected, striving for wealth and riches did not bring the happiness it promised.. the price that had to be paid for all this was far too high… the emptiness was staring her in the face.. heartbreak and sickness had taken away all the illusions …

Listening to these songs, so empty and so dark, I need to make a decision not to dwell on them… instead I will switch back to one of my other playlists.. uplifting songs of praise, songs about truth, about what life really is about..


Striving for wealth and riches did not bring the happiness it promised.
PHOTO: Striving for wealth and riches did not bring the happiness it promised. The price that had to be paid for all this was far too high. The emptiness was staring us in the face. Heartbreak and sickness had taken away all the illusions.
"You are rich when you are content and happy with what you have."
Picture posted by I Am Rich (Pinterest)
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I know that my mother is fully aware now what it is all about.. I know that she is experiencing the love her Father has for her in it’s monumental, overwhelming, all consuming way..

For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. (1 Corinthians 13:12)

She is seeing Him face to face, not dimly, like in a mirror, she knows now, not in part, but fully… like He has always fully known her..


For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. (1 Corinthians 13:12)
PHOTO: For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. (1 Corinthians 13:12)
Picture posted by I-DigitalPixel.com
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It will remain a mystery why He waited until 3 years before her passing to make Himself known to her, it’s one of those things I have to let go.. His thoughts and ways are not mine..  I do not doubt His love and goodness for her and all who He chose to know Him…

So, Mother’s Day.. I am blessed to be able to celebrate with two of my three daughters, we will be missing my youngest who is still in Europe very much..

Will we be sad, will it be a time of remembering that will be painful, for sure, but it will also be a time of marvelling at how blessed we are to have that time together.. the relationships we enjoy , how much we love each other and how much we have loved her, who we will see again, sometime, sooner or later…


It will be a time of remembering that will be painful, but it will also be a time of marvelling at how blessed we are to have that time together.

PHOTO: It will be a time of remembering that will be painful, but it will also be a time of marvelling at how blessed we are to have that time together. The relationships we enjoyed, the love we have for each other. And we will see each other again, sometime, sooner or later.
Picture posted by BelleDeesse, WallpaperUP
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He, who holds our futures in His hands also holds her, our beloved Oma and Mama, no more pain, just joy.. light and fulfilment like never before…

Walking through those years since He opened my eyes has taught me many things.. one is that when pain comes, I can let my arms fall by my side, I don’t have to tense up and pull up my shoulders ( like I used to do ALL THE TIME )… I don’t have to build walls to protect me, because, that’s what He does… He keeps me safe, He walks with me, and my loved ones, through the valleys, He heals our pain, He carries us when necessary and He leads us back into the light..

Even in the valley of the shadow of death He is there..  it’s a no brainer, for there to be a shadow, there has to be a light.. and for that I am eternally grateful…
Walking through those years since He opened my eyes has taught me many things.
PHOTO: Walking through those years since He opened my eyes has taught me many things. When pain comes, I can let my arms fall by my side. I don’t have to tense up and pull up my shoulders ( like I used to do ALL THE TIME ). I don’t have to build walls to protect me, because, that’s what He does. He keeps me safe, walks with me, and my loved ones, through the valleys. He heals our pain, carries us when necessary and leads us back into the light.
Picture posted by marlina on 17 September 2015 at 11:29
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PHOTO: "Dear Lord, We pray that even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. (Psalm 23:4)
Even in the valley of the shadow of death You are there. For there to be a shadow, there has to be a light, and for that we are eternally grateful.
Thank You for comforting us and healing our pain during our troubling hours. Thank You for your constant protection, guidance and provision throughout our life. Through Lord Jesus Christ we pray. Amen!"
Picture posted by huda saddar on Saturday, 16 November 2013
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By surrenderedobedience on 5 May 2016



Reference
[1] Surrenderedobedience, Mother’s Day without her…, posted on 5 May 2016, https://surrenderedobedience.com/2016/05/05/mothers-day-without-her/

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1 Corinthians 13:12 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Corinthians+13%3A12&version=NIV

Psalm 23:4 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+23%3A4&version=NIV
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