Tuesday, June 2, 2020

I've not seen my husband for months due to the coronavirus, and I'm not alone

Source Website: https://www.asiaone.com/lifestyle/ive-not-seen-my-husband-months-due-coronavirus-and-im-not-alone
By Candice Cai, candicecai@asiaone.com, AsiaOne, 29 May 2020 at 6:51 PM


The coronavirus pandemic has caused many disruptions to regular life.
PHOTO: The coronavirus pandemic has caused many disruptions to regular life. As a result of the virus outbreak, Candice Cai has not seen her husband for three months. This is the longest they have been apart in their relationship, and solo parenting a four-year-old while balancing work definitely came with its challenges.
PHOTO: Edith Tan - Edith Tan with her family in Rotterdam (Holland).
Picture posted by Candice Cai, candicecai@asiaone.com, AsiaOne on 29 May 2020 at 6:51 PM
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https://www.asiaone.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_main_image/public/original_images/Jun2020/edithtanfamilres.jpg?itok=NAizl4kH
https://www.asiaone.com/lifestyle/ive-not-seen-my-husband-months-due-coronavirus-and-im-not-alone


The coronavirus pandemic has caused many disruptions to regular life, and we're not just talking about on work and social fronts.

Flights were cancelled, strict quarantine measures put in place, and all construction activities grounded to a halt in Singapore. These changes have caused more problems than say, the minor inconvenience of not being able to get your daily bubble tea fix.

As for how this has impacted me personally? As a result of the virus outbreak, I've also not seen my husband for three months.

Some background — my husband's a Thai citizen and Singaporean PR and had flown to Thailand at the beginning of March to settle some personal matters at home. This was when the total number of coronavirus infections in Singapore had just crossed the 100 mark and daily Covid-19 numbers hovered around the low single digits.


My husband's a Thai citizen and Singaporean PR and had flown to Thailand at the beginning of March to settle some personal matters at home.
PHOTO: "My husband's a Thai citizen and Singaporean PR and had flown to Thailand at the beginning of March to settle some personal matters at home. As a result of the virus outbreak, I've also not seen my husband for three months."
Picture posted by the Asianparent Singapore
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg627mYZvuqHIJ7sAFyIFBJEpKklR_rPOylGBg_pbE54fj4E181LXDVfUT86viqLeFpnE7y-5TPB-dD0dhmz28A2m8ZN06sQBPZSJ86UPDurT1GCnQ1jC63rQlD7m1B5RbkC45GIxs17Ko/s1600/955079812-11.png
https://sg.theasianparent.com/covid-19-challenges


We were aware it was pretty bad timing but were prepared for him to spend up to three weeks or even a month in the country if the situation worsened.

Well, three weeks soon turned into eight as Thailand gradually closed its doors to visitors and airports shut. At present, international flights to the country are still banned until June 30.


Three weeks soon turned into eight as Thailand gradually closed its doors to visitors and airports shut.
PHOTO: Three weeks soon turned into eight as Thailand gradually closed its doors to visitors and airports shut. At present, international flights to the country are still banned until June 30. They were awared it was pretty bad timing but were prepared for their husband to spend up to three weeks or even a month in the country if the situation worsened.
Photo from Twenty/20
Picture posted by Alicia Adamczyk@AliciaAdamczyk on Friday, 03 April 2020 at 11:03 AM EDT
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https://www.cnbc.com/2020/04/03/what-to-do-if-you-cant-pay-rent-because-of-the-coronavirus-pandemic.html


There was a sliver of a chance for him to get home in March, right before the 14-day mandatory Stay Home Notice in Singapore was implemented for returning citizens and PRs. But shortly after the announcement, the last seats on remaining flights were quickly snapped up before our very eyes.

This is the longest we've been apart in our relationship, and solo parenting a four-year-old while balancing work definitely came with its challenges. Thankfully, I live with my parents and had help.

Her daughter thinks 'papa' is the computer

Edith Tan, 42, who has a 20-month-old daughter, has not been able to see her partner for close to five months.
PHOTO: Edith Tan, 42, who has a 20-month-old daughter, has not been able to see her partner for close to five months. Tan's partner is a doctor in the Netherlands and the pair are currently living in separate continents due to Tan's decision to move back to Singapore last September.
For the last year and a half after her daughter was born, Tan and her partner would take turns to commute between countries, seeing each other about four times a year.
PHOTO: Edith Tan - Edith Tan with her family in Rotterdam (Holland).
Picture posted by Candice Cai, candicecai@asiaone.com, AsiaOne on 29 May 2020 at 6:51 PM
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https://www.asiaone.com/lifestyle/ive-not-seen-my-husband-months-due-coronavirus-and-im-not-alone


Like me, communications specialist Edith Tan, 42, who has a 20-month-old daughter, has not been able to see her partner for close to five months.

Tan's partner is a doctor in the Netherlands and the pair are currently living in separate continents due to Tan's decision to move back to Singapore last September.

For the last year and a half after her daughter was born, Tan and her partner would take turns to commute between countries, seeing each other about four times a year.

However, the Covid-19 situation in Singapore may mean that they may not be able to meet till next year, given the mandatory quarantine measures for foreigners.


For the last year and a half after her daughter was born, Tan and her partner would take turns to commute between countries, seeing each other about four times a year.
PHOTO: For the last year and a half after her daughter was born, Tan and her partner would take turns to commute between countries, seeing each other about four times a year. However, the Covid-19 situation in Singapore may mean that they may not be able to meet till next year, given the mandatory quarantine measures for foreigners.
Picture posted by TatyanaChe on 04 May 2018 - Once in the spring...
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https://www.deviantart.com/tatyanache/art/Once-in-the-spring-743365810


"Taking two weeks of leave is quite difficult for any employee," said Tan of their predicament. "Even if he could take three weeks' leave, it would mean only seeing us for a week."

"I feel very sad for my daughter who now she thinks her papa is a computer," added Tan as most of the interactions her daughter has had with her father have now been limited to video calls.

Going to the Netherlands to stay too, is not an option as Tan has just recently secured a permanent position in a company here and would like to continue to work to earn an income, instead of relying on her husband.


I feel very sad for my daughter who now she thinks her papa is a computer
I feel very sad for my daughter who now she thinks her papa is a computer
PHOTO: "I feel very sad for my daughter who now she thinks her papa is a computer," added Tan as most of the interactions her daughter has had with her father have now been limited to video calls.
Picture posted by annewipf on 30 April 2018 - Easter
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https://www.deviantart.com/annewipf/art/Easter-742807732


"A lot of people are stuck overseas," said Tan, who counts a close friend and a client among those who are in similar predicaments.

One of her girlfriend's ex-husband is also unable to see his children here as he is based overseas due to work.

"For the first few months we've been fretting, and we thought of me going back," said Tan of their situation, but it wasn't a feasible option due to her job and for financial reasons.

Tan added that doctors in the Netherlands are not as well paid as one may think, addressing how flying all the way here for so little time together would not be an economical decision.

The best situation for Tan would be if her partner can stay at her flat while serving the Stay Home Notice, but she is unsure if is even a possibility.

Married but forced to live apart during CB

The best situation would be if her partner can stay at her flat while serving the Stay Home Notice, but she is unsure if is even a possibility.
PHOTO: The best situation would be if her partner can stay at her flat while serving the Stay Home Notice, but she is unsure if is even a possibility.
PHOTO: The Straits Times file
Picture posted by Candice Cai, candicecai@asiaone.com, AsiaOne on 29 May 2020 at 6:51 PM
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https://www.asiaone.com/lifestyle/ive-not-seen-my-husband-months-due-coronavirus-and-im-not-alone


For married couple Lau Yew Han, 34, and his wife Jolene Ong, 30, a whole other set of circumstances led them to have to live apart for more than two months.

Lau had moved into his in-laws' after they got married in June last year, while waiting for their Build-to-Order (BTO) flat in Bidadari to be completed.

However, upgrading works to his in-laws' HDB flat meant that the family had to move out to stay with a relative, and Lau moved back to his parents' home alone as both flats had no space to accommodate more people.


For married couple Lau Yew Han, 34, and his wife Jolene Ong, 30, a whole other set of circumstances led them to have to live apart for more than two months.
PHOTO: For married couple Lau Yew Han, 34, and his wife Jolene Ong, 30, a whole other set of circumstances led them to have to live apart for more than two months.
Picture posted by MikhaelPacheco on 19 April 2018 - Alone in the Forest
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https://www.deviantart.com/mikhaelpacheco/art/Alone-in-the-Forest-741119861


What was supposed to be a short two weeks apart turned into two months, after construction work was halted due to enhanced circuit breaker measures.

On the bright side, said Lau, the distance apart has let couple feel as if they were dating again, not that they'd like it to be prolonged.

Lau is looking forward to the lifting of the circuit breaker next week, even though staying together with his wife is still not possible.


What was supposed to be a short two weeks apart turned into two months, after construction work was halted due to enhanced circuit breaker measures.
PHOTO: What was supposed to be a short two weeks apart turned into two months, after construction work was halted due to enhanced circuit breaker measures. Lau is looking forward to the lifting of the circuit breaker next week, even though staying together with his wife is still not possible.
Picture posted by mumu0909 on 21 April 2018
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"Of course, we can't go back to the house immediately, but at least the upgrading works will get started again and hopefully it can be completed soon," said Lau.

With the coronavirus outbreak abating and Singapore stepping into phase one of reopening, it's one step closer for mine and many other families who have been separated to live under one roof again.


With the coronavirus outbreak abating and Singapore stepping into phase one of reopening, it's one step closer for many families who have been separated to live under one roof again.
With the coronavirus outbreak abating and Singapore stepping into phase one of reopening, it's one step closer for many families who have been separated to live under one roof again.
PHOTO: With the coronavirus outbreak abating and Singapore stepping into phase one of reopening, it's one step closer for many families who have been separated to live under one roof again.
Love Pictures by American Illustrator, Max Ginsburg
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How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!
How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!
PHOTO: "How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!" (Psalm 133:1).
Love Pictures by American Illustrator, Max Ginsburg
Picture posted by zyciemoje2 on 17 October 2017
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I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity.
I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity.
PHOTO: "I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me." (John 17:23).
Love Pictures by American Illustrator, Max Ginsburg
Picture posted by Panter_Woman
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May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had,
PHOTO: "May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had," (Romans 15:5).
Love Pictures by American Illustrator, Max Ginsburg
Picture posted by Panter_Woman
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And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
PHOTO: "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching." (Hebrews 10:24-25).
Love Pictures by American Illustrator, Max Ginsburg
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And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
PHOTO: "And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." (Colossians 3:14).
Love Pictures by American Illustrator, Max Ginsburg
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That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
PHOTO: "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." (Genesis 2:24).

"so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ." (Romans 15:6).

"Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another." (1 John 4:11).
Love Pictures by American Illustrator, Max Ginsburg
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By Candice Cai, candicecai@asiaone.com, AsiaOne, 29 May 2020 at 6:51 PM



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Reference
[1] Candice Cai, candicecai@asiaone.com, AsiaOne, I've not seen my husband for months due to the coronavirus, and I'm not alone, posted on 29 May 2020 at 6:51 PM, https://www.asiaone.com/lifestyle/ive-not-seen-my-husband-months-due-coronavirus-and-im-not-alone


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