Monday, January 16, 2017

Straight As? But making grade in doing good is vital too

Source Website: http://news.asiaone.com/news/asian-opinions/straight-making-grade-doing-good-vital-too
By Tee Hun Ching, hunching@sph.com.sg, The Straits Times, Monday, 16 January 2017


Going by the past two weeks, my son has shown that even if he doesn't do well, he can at least aim to do good.
PHOTO: Going by the past two weeks, my son has shown that even if he doesn't do well, he can at least aim to do good. That, surely, is a worthy New Year resolution I should adopt too.
Photo: The Straits Times
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQT6AMWDKYuXQwnpJPifGoh2FvHlhw1Y7tt0VqxAmof3Y_GX8Kov9W5SDJFZIwJR1rXf0y1avbRO8__0Sfidn5MiWMrT8hcCGymx7l8higW1E8Mb05__0-l4M1pIrQeAY-GudePMwK85jG/s1600/20170116_SCHOOL.jpg
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http://news.asiaone.com/news/asian-opinions/straight-making-grade-doing-good-vital-too


Ahead of the new year, I buckled and signed my son up for Chinese tuition.

I had been holding out against extra lessons because I wanted to keep as many of his afternoons free from school stuff for as long as I could.

But the strain was showing.


Use the knowledge of others
PHOTO: Use the knowledge of others.
We don’t mean cheat…. when we say use the knowledge of others, what we mean is that you should talk with friends, family members and teachers about the subjects you are studying. Get their opinions on topics, see how they would have approached a problem or learn their method of doing something. In opening your mind to new ways of thinking and doing you should be better prepared to handle almost any academic challenge.
Posted by wikiHow to Get Straight "A"s
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http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Straight-%22A%22s#/Image:Get-Straight-%22A%22s-Step-02.jpg
http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Straight-%22A%22s


With his anaemic vocabulary and fractured grammar, he toiled over compositions and stumbled over comprehension passages.

The child we had raised to speak Mandarin at home now struggles to string together complete sentences in our mother tongue, much to our embarrassment.

I decided on early intervention when told to expect a jump in the level of difficulty now that he is in Primary 4.

On top of that, a friend whose son is in Primary 6 in the same school had warned that this will be a crucial year.

The boys will be assigned to classes next year based mainly on their maths and science grades, she said, and the best resources are said to be devoted to the top class.


The boys will be assigned to classes in primary 4 based mainly on their maths and science grades.
PHOTO: The boys will be assigned to classes in primary 4 based mainly on their maths and science grades. The best resources are said to be devoted to the top class.
Picture posted by Private Education Institutions
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http://www.sizeozel.com.tr/uploads/galeri/e577210354238-Three-happy-school-kids-Stock-Vector-cartoon.jpg
http://www.sizeozel.com.tr/galeri.php


I don't expect my son to make it to the best class, but I sure hope he doesn't fall too far behind either.

I wondered whether I should be thinking about science enrichment too.

So as 2017 dawned, academic goals weighed heavily on my mind.

But rusty and lazy after the six-week, year-end break, my son came home frothing with indignation when his class was assigned homework on the second day of school.

I snapped and told him to suck it up.

"The honeymoon phase is over. You are now in upper primary."

"Act your age."

Three years after he started school, I am still wringing my hands over the same thing: his lackadaisical attitude towards learning.


Working Hard At Home
PHOTO: Working Hard At Home
It is important to remain motivated and motivate the child to do the homework. Homework helps to reinforce what  have been learned in class and identify what is not understood.
Posted by wikiHow to Get Straight "A"s
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http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Straight-%22A%22s


It took a friend to alert me to another side of him worth celebrating.

Just like how it is done in many other schools, the Primary 4 pupils were paired with those in Primary 1 on the first three days of school to guide the newbies during recess and help ease them into the new environment.

A friend sent us a shot of her son, K, with ours on the first day.

Our boy had asked a classmate to swop their young charges so he could be K's buddy, she said.

Our sons had met several times at our social gatherings but weren't what you would call firm friends.

"I'm so grateful," my friend added in her text message.

"K was very nervous so having your son as a buddy really helped."

My husband and I were pleasantly surprised.


The first few days in a Primary School can be a daunting experience for both parents and children.
PHOTO: The first few days in a Primary School can be a daunting experience for both parents and children. The environment is vastly different from pre-school and may be a culture shock. Parents may also worry about how their children are settling into a new environment. To help new students, primary schools often have buddy systems, pairing older students with Primary One schoolmates.
Picture posted by The Straits Times on 3 January 2017
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmuUE96DsDH69eeTUxAf32RHE8gAJ8N6KIgMyQY2k7UBQnwUNPxs7LKmVIhe0Va3f2eLgn-n4jwLwX49ZwokJJCPsM60hNKFDBEL5vAocwmYOUHHpDCgMwzbfsbvEsU9vCFQH9r2M3aF13/s1600/First+day+of+Primary+1+photo+booths+mascots+and+more+at+Singapore+schools_1.png
http://www.youngparents.com.sg/sites/default/files/article/2017/January/First%20day%20of%20Primary%201%20photo%20booths%20mascots%20and%20more%20at%20Singapore%20schools_1.png
http://www.youngparents.com.sg/education/first-day-primary-1-photo-booths-mascots-and-more-singapore-schools


My friend didn't know this but our son had baulked at our suggestion for him to take care of K before school started.

The reluctance stemmed from some childish misunderstanding that arose when K came to our house a few years ago.

I never quite figured out the exact details but it had something to do with K playing with some toys that my son didn't want him to touch.

We were miffed that he could stay sore at someone for so long over something so trivial.

"K was so young then. He probably didn't even know he had upset you. Why are you so petty?" I said in exasperation.

"I don't care. I'm not going to do it," my son retorted, his face a sullen mask.

Our lectures fell on deaf ears - or so we thought.

Not only did he volunteer to be K's recess buddy, we heard later that he also showed K around the school.


The awesome buddy system
PHOTO: The awesome buddy system
Miranda Tay (right) was a buddy to young Marcie Chew (left) during the younger girl’s her first days at Rulang Primary School.
Picture posted by Ministry of Education, Singapore on 20 December 2016
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https://www.schoolbag.sg/images/default-source/story-images/marcie-and-miranda.jpg?sfvrsn=4
https://www.schoolbag.sg/story/the-awesome-buddy-system


When his chaperone services were no longer needed after the first three days, he still looked for opportunities to swing by K's class during recess or after school to see how his young friend was doing.

We were proud of him not just because he had displayed a caring side that wasn't often apparent.

We were moved that he managed to overcome his self-centred tendencies, cast aside his petty grievances and choose to be caring towards someone he once had little affection for.

Then a week into the new school year, I found a note in my daughter's pencil case left by her brother.

I'd heard him telling her to "check your pencil case" during the first few days of school but didn't probe when he refused to tell me what he meant.

"Don't show Mama," he hissed at his sister, who entered Primary 1 this year.

It turned out he had written a few notes to ease her jitters.

The one I read, meant for her second day in school, was both encouraging and instructive.

"Don't be scared because Mama and Papa will not be at your school," it went.

"In school, be curious, raise your hand and ask questions, because that is an important way to learn."

I almost had to wipe away a tear or two.

This was from a boy who is still mean to his sister more often than he is nice.

"I didn't know you could be so sweet," I told him later.

"It's only for the first three days," he replied swiftly, lest I thought he was morphing into the world's best bro.


A new path: children need certain basic skills before going to primary school.
PHOTO: A new path: children need certain basic skills before going to primary school. The use the toilet, how to  ask for help and enjoy learning.
Picture posted by Filc Everett on 06 February 2015 at 9:06AM GMT
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http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/03189/schoolkids-walk_3189442b.jpg
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sponsored/finance/family-matters/11393061/things-know-before-primary-school.html


My son's gradual transformation reminds me of an e-mail that caught my eye amid the flurry of news alerts and Web links on New Year resolutions that landed in my inbox as Jan 1 came and went.

Headlined "What Really Matters in 2017", the reflection advised devoting more energy to building our "eulogy virtues" rather than burnishing our "resume virtues".

These are terms that New York Times op-ed columnist David Brooks discussed in his 2015 book, The Road To Character.

Resume virtues are the skills that make us marketable and contribute to external success, while eulogy virtues are the traits that people talk about at our funerals - the stuff that really matters in the end.

Did we show integrity? Were we kind? Did we make an iota of difference to anyone's life?

Brooks argues that while we all know eulogy virtues are more important than the resume ones, most of us are still more bent on building a career and veneer of success than forging inner character.

It seems we adopt the same mindset when it comes to parenting too.

In one of its studies, a project under the Harvard Graduate School of Education found that personal success, such as achievement and happiness, takes priority over concern for others among today's youth.

This, the researchers concluded, reflected what the young believe adults value.

About two-thirds of those polled reported that their parents would rank achievement above caring for others.

Expanding his eulogy virtues doesn't mean I will stop worrying about my son's grades or pushing him to work hard.

But it does mean I have to get my priorities right. Any achievement will count for little if he is not anchored by strong core values.

Going by the past two weeks, my son has shown that even if he doesn't do well, he can at least aim to do good.

That, surely, is a worthy New Year resolution I should adopt too.

By Tee Hun Ching, hunching@sph.com.sg, The Straits Times, Monday, 16 January 2017


About two-thirds of those polled reported that their parents would rank achievement above caring for others.
PHOTO: About two-thirds of those polled reported that their parents would rank achievement above caring for others. In one of its studies, a project under the Harvard Graduate School of Education found that personal success, such as achievement and happiness, takes priority over concern for others among today's youth. Students should do well in their studies and aim to do good.
Picture posted by The Straits Times on 3 January 2017
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http://www.youngparents.com.sg/sites/default/files/article/2017/January/First%20day%20of%20Primary%201%20photo%20booths%20mascots%20and%20more%20at%20Singapore%20schools_3.png
http://www.youngparents.com.sg/education/first-day-primary-1-photo-booths-mascots-and-more-singapore-schools



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