Monday, September 5, 2011

Women should always carry tissue ...

Today On Sunday, Sunday, September 4, 2011, Page 12, Speakeasy, Column
From
http://imcmsimages.mediacorp.sg/CMSFileserver/documents/006/PDF/20110904/0409FFW012.pdf
Source Website:
http://www.todayonline.com/Columns/Speakeasy/EDC110904-0000193/Women-should-always-carry-tissue-,,,
By
Georgina Chang, todayonsunday@mediacorp.com.sg, 04:45 AM Sep 04, 2011



PHOTO: Women should always carry tissue ...
But so should men, because you can’t use your shirtsleeves to wipe up birdpoop

http://allwomenstalk.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/bag2.jpg
http://allwomenstalk.com/10-must-haves-in-your-purse/



PHOTO: Georgina Chang
Georgina Chang is the Senior Creative Director for Lush and 987FM, and the co-host for Lush Mornings on Thursdays 7-10am.



I take great pleasure in being a woman, but there are so many expectations from society on what I should or shouldn't do. I heartily agree with some of these impositions, but consider others downright insulting.



PHOTO: One should at least know how to fry luncheon meat strips and slice fruits
http://www.afkar.co.il/NewsReader.asp?ID=4517
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_V6JFGjE6nqg/S5UZ1fMpYJI/AAAAAAAAAGM/55UqV_Deniw/S640/Imagen4.jpg
http://katiuscarojas-katiusca.blogspot.com/

For example, women should know how to cook.

Now, I love whipping up gourmet four-course meals, but many of us have ambitions to be hugely successful in our careers. With our competitive working schedules, there isn't much time left to learn domestic skills.

However, one should at least know how to fry luncheon meat strips and slice fruits.




PHOTO: Women shouldn't be too smart or opinionated
http://lh3.ggpht.com/_QwqxEL3WtWw/SceY77dklPI/AAAAAAAAAxQ/zC4O9jj-IdE/rosieodonnell_thumb3.jpg
http://www.quirkyloon.com/2009_03_01_archive.html

I'm also told that women shouldn't be too smart or opinionated.

I realise that the smart ones don't let on that they are. Hence, that makes them smarter, which goes against what men don't want them to be. It's always a delicate balance.




PHOTO: A woman will keep changing her mind several times a day
http://www.indiareport.com/resources/images/original/sex_3.jpg
http://www.indiareport.com/India-usa-uk-news/latest-news/1029676/FeaturedArticles/14/54/14

Women should be more decisive.

Honey, the only things guaranteed in life are death, taxes and change. So accept it, a woman will keep changing her mind several times a day.




PHOTO: Women should mean it when they say everything's fine
http://shiborigirl.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/organza-on-fire.jpg?w=332&h=500
http://shiborigirl.wordpress.com/

Women should mean it when they say everything's fine.

That's true. Why expect the poor fellow to read your mind? He can't even find his clean socks, or know when he's done something wrong (again), so put him out of his confusion and guide him.





PHOTO: If she laughs at your jokes, flips her hair and smiles a lot, just ask her out.
http://xd7.xanga.com/b22f946479633277702704/m221216659.jpg
http://www.datingish.com/752207248/women-buy-me-drinks/

Women shouldn't ask a man out.

Honestly, if we didn't make the first move, plenty of guys would never be married, because they're scared of rejection. If she laughs at your jokes, flips her hair and smiles a lot, just ask her out. And even if she says no, I promise that your ego will recover within hours, days at most.

Have you looked wistfully at the guy who's always dating hot girls? Well, he's got the right strategy of simply approaching many women. If you target ten and three accept, that's three more dates than the guy who just sat there and twiddled his thumbs. (That would be you.)




PHOTO: Maintain being mysterious and allure, and withholding makes him more eager
http://www.kaymacke.de/blog/uploads/a_fotos/spaghetti-dame-lavazza.jpg
http://www.kaymacke.de/blog/index.php?/archives/2009/06/P3.html

Women shouldn't put out on the first date.

Well, we like to maintain our mystery and allure, and withholding makes him more eager.

But if the chemistry is so awesome and she succumbs to your charm, please be grateful instead of judging.




PHOTO: A woman who imbibes elegantly is a lovely sight to behold.
http://domnevest.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/ee8de0672d0b.jpg
http://domnevest.com/2011/05/10-veshhejj-kotorye-mogut-isportit-vsyu-svadbu/

Women shouldn't get drunk.

I disagree with that when I'm sipping a nice wine, but agree wholeheartedly when I see a woman crying (usually over the ex), having someone hold her hair back while she throws up by the side of the road, or getting carried out of the club. A woman who imbibes elegantly is a lovely sight to behold.



PHOTO: A woman who imbibes elegantly is a lovely sight to behold.
http://www.portalflorystyczny.pl/images/savoir-vivre/2.png
http://www.portalflorystyczny.pl/index.php?option=com_content&view=section&layout=blog&id=14&Itemid=477&limitstart=90




PHOTO: Save your dignity and move on
http://domnevest.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/c9d12c3c761e.jpg
http://domnevest.com/2011/05/10-veshhejj-kotorye-mogut-isportit-vsyu-svadbu/

Women should delete their ex's phone number.

That's because she's prone to sending drunken messages to him. Or worse, calling and begging him to come back. Don't do it, girls. He's gone, usually because of another woman, so save your dignity and move on.




PHOTO: Women should know how to drive
http://www.examiner.com/images/blog/wysiwyg/image/red_mistress_250_x_245.jpg
http://www.examiner.com/infidelity-in-national/what-you-need-to-know-about-your-husband-s-mistress-and-why

Women should know how to drive.

Guys tell me that they want to be picked up and chauffeured sometimes. I believe it's necessary for a woman to be independently mobile whenever she wants, or be able to take the keys of his Audi and drive off. Forever.




PHOTO: Women should dress like women
http://www4.pictures.zimbio.com/mp/MpNig6bd62Sl.jpg
http://www.zimbio.com/Breast+Cancer+Awareness/articles/n9La_u3tFuB/Something+Every+Woman+Know+Breast+Density

Women should dress like women.

Dresses and skirts were designed to flatter and accentuate your form, and celebrate the beauty of the female body. Enjoy this privilege. Meanwhile, guys look daft in a skirt. My apologies to any Scotsman reading this, but no woman would look across a bar and fancy the one in the kilt. Unless you had really big bagpipes.




PHOTO: Dark stubby hair on women's limbs and maybe underarms could do with some waxing.
http://all4women.co.za/files.php?file=02_photos/triumph_soft_power_sports_bra_20883_p_245841021.jpg
http://all4women.co.za/beauty/fashion/your-bra-problems-solved.html

Women should wax.

As far as I know, men are hairy gorillas. But they never say that men should wax. Yet even the most hirsute would eye a woman's barely-visible leg fuzz and remark with disdain, "Wah, so hairy." I agree that dark stubby hair on women's limbs and maybe underarms could do with some waxing. But that's as far as it should go, guys. Stop trying to make her look like she's 12.




PHOTO: To clean and wipe oily remnants from our mouth after lunch
http://www.myhealthnewsdaily.com/images/stories/sneeze-woman-tissue-100928-02.jpg
http://www.myhealthnewsdaily.com/asymptomatic-flu-transmitters-genes-activated-1835/Women should always carry tissue.

Yes, we're clean and wipe oily remnants from our mouth after lunch, wipe random dirt that tainted our clean hands, or wipe the birdpoop that dropped unceremoniously from above. However, men should also carry tissue as these incidents are gender neutral and the back of the sleeve may suffice for oily remnants, but it's not so effective at cleaning birdpoop.




PHOTO: A win-win situation when we reward you for your good behaviour, because we both feel deep satisfaction.
http://all4women.co.za/thumbnail.php?file=02_photos/unclasping_bra_309622629.jpg&size=article_large
http://all4women.co.za/beauty/fashion/your-bra-problems-solved.html

And, finally, women should use sex as a weapon.


Absolutely. How else can we get you to do the things you'd never volunteer for, like lift that heavy luggage onto the top shelf, kill that cockroach hiding in the cupboard, or stop face-mailing your hot ex-girlfriend?

It's a win-win situation when we reward you for your good behaviour, because we both feel deep satisfaction.



PHOTO: Women and sex as a weapon
http://www.milionkobiet.pl/files/2011_04/1faece8fd54d668d09284ccba77f61ee_515cb5.jpg
http://www.milionkobiet.pl/gwalt-w-zwiazku,437,1,a.html


By Georgina Chang, todayonsunday@mediacorp.com.sg, 04:45 AM Sep 04, 2011
Georgina Chang is the Senior Creative Director for Lush and 987FM, and the co-host for Lush Mornings on Thursdays 7-10am.



PHOTO: Flatter and accentuate your form, and celebrate the beauty of the female body
http://www.flowerbags.co.uk/ekmps/shops/flowerbags/images/triumph-soft-power-sports-bra-%5B2%5D-20883-p.jpg
http://www.flowerbags.co.uk/triumph-soft-power-sports-bra-20883-p.asp



Reference